I'm trying to sync up my Blogger with my LJ again and I've done everything I'm supposed to but it's not working! Maybe I need to wait for a day before it starts syncing up..?
So recently I retweeted this:
"RT @misswhipass say to a slave "Are you straight " he says "Yes Mistress" you say "suck that cock" he says "Yes Mistress" ..Bi now Gay Later"
I thought this was kind of funny, especially as one of my high school boyfriends had experience identifying as bisexual during school and now living as a mostly gay (if not completely gay, I'm not sure) man.
I was told that by retweeting this, I was promoting biphobia and bi erasure, something I can understand being a reaction. Telling people that bisexuality is a phase, or a holding ground between straight and gay, is really frustrating when you identify as bisexual. I remember having to defend my identity often, in high school, as not being a phase, that I was open to being in a relationship with either. I remember how frustrating it was, too, being nonmonogamous and bisexual, explaining over and over that no, I wasn't bi because I was "just slutty", and I wasn't nonmonogamous because I "needed both". I can totally emphasize with her anger, because I had been angry about it too.
This came right after I had posted something on Facebook about an article discussing guys who identify as "mostly straight"- something that I thought was actually kind of neat. I like the idea of guys starting to take steps to explore and challenge their assumed sexual identity. Women have more of a tendency to feel comfortable exploring bicuriosity- much to the frustration of lesbians who get tired of being training wheels for experimentation. But then, women are also (supposedly) less likely to have specific, concrete fetishes. Women are socialized and often encouraged to have a fluid sexual identity, at least far more so that men. So I welcomed an article suggesting that men are beginning to feel more comfortable saying that the labels "straight" or "gay" don't necessarily work for them.
I identify as queer, now. I came to that decision because I felt the term bisexual was too limiting for me, that it encouraged a binary of gender I was uncomfortable with. Anthropology classes taught me that gender was a spectrum, and could be fluid, and therefore I felt as uncomfortable with bisexual as a term (suggesting male or female) as I did with the idea that you were either gay or straight. Queer was more... open. And I liked that. Just as I don't generally identify with monogamous or polyamorous, choosing instead the more flexible term or nonmonogamous.
But then, for me, in my experience, my sexuality and gender is fluid, at least to a certain point. I mostly know people who have had a similar experience with their sexuality and gender expression. And I sympathize with people who look at all the labels out there and say "but that doesn't exactly mirror how I identify".
What pissed me off is the belief that because I no longer identify as bisexual, I have no experience with bisexuality, or that I should shut up and sit down on bisexual issues. It's that whole "prove your cred at the door" thing all over again that one finds in some queer spaces, and it was really disappointing.
The example given as similar was that of denying trans lesbians access to lesbian space, because they were male, and therefore had access to male privilege. Now, I think that's unacceptable, and often more linked to fears that a straight transvestite might wave around a queer identity so they can leer. That said, I ran a Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society group, which led to an interesting thought process on how to make it open to Ladies without it being invaded by male energy. I decided my way to navigate this was to say "Ladies" for the Sake of this Society will refer to Those who live full time as Women, and FTM and intersex people who feel that they still have a link to the women's / dykes community." This seemed to work pretty well at leaving it to people to consider their own identity without me being the gender police. And I recognize that while trans men may no longer feel tied to the women's community, they also might, and they've spent a fair bit of time dealing with sexism themselves.
Someone may have identified as bi long enough to experience a fair amount of biphobia, or hell, may know enough bi people to be able to give an opinion based on their experience or the experience of those they know. While I was told "if you don't identify as bi now, you never were", I disagree. I don't think ALL people who are bisexual have fluid sexual identities, but also refuse to ignore that some DO. People change, people shift, they grow in different ways and I don't think being fluid means that you have no right to talk about any identity. Her experience may not reflect that, and that's ok... mine does, and I don't think my experience is less valid because I don't have a solid, unchanging identity. Additionally, I don't think one is better than the other, or more evolved- like with mono/poly, I think that some people find one works better for them, others may identify as poly for years and then monogamous, and that doesn't take away from their experience.
Let me declare this now. I've been touchy about certain subjects- jokes about rape, say, or this TSA bullshit. I'm less touchy on other subjects. Sometimes I say something that offends someone, and I'm sorry to offend them. I personally enjoy jokes that're in bad taste sometimes, and I get that it's not funny to everyone. I laughed at this short, though it definitely hit close to home! But I also pick my battles carefully. I'm more interested in fighting the big fights than squabbling among other activists. If someone says something I disagree with, I generally try to engage in a friendly way, not shaking my finger. Calling someone names isn't going to get them to listen, I've found, whether that be in queer circles, women's rights circles, or any other activism group. One day, I hope we'll be as good as the Republicans in realizing that we aren't really each other's enemies and we, as activists, have a lot of common goals.
So, if I offend you with something I say- know that I only ever speak from my own experience and will try my damnedest never to invalidate yours- know that I'm often sorry I offended you, and am interested in hearing why you feel that way- and know that if you start to make personal attacks or tell me my life experiences aren't valid, I will probably stop listening.
And this whole experience is definitely part of why I stopped going to most rallies.
I love suction on my clit. Love it SO MUCH. The feeling when my boy sucks on my clit like it's a little cock is just the nicest, toe-curling, shoulder-shivering feeling. And I used to have a toy, years ago, that simulated that sucking feeling while vibrating, so when I got to try out the Vibrating Pleasure Pump from Good Vibrations, I was really excited!
It wasn't all I hoped for. I'll admit it.
The suction just didn't stick and wasn't as intense as I had hoped- I think the problem is that the pump mechanism is not tight enough, maybe? I had to keep pumping the bulb to get the suction back to the way I liked it. And then the vibration was a little too... buzz-y for me. I recently explained to my grandma, "some vibrators are like bees, bzzzzzz, and some are like jackhammers, BZBZBZBZBZBZ". I like the jackhammers, generally, myself. ::grin::
I'm curious to see how this will work for the boy, though, because the suction end might feel really nice against the head of his cock. The toy comes with two options for attachments- one has little fingers in it, so you get extra vibration, and one doesn't. I'm imagining this could make for some fun teasing, esp if the boy is mummified and can't escape...
So, if you want to experiment with suction, this would be a good starter product. You're not going to injure yourself with it like you can with the more hardcore suction toys. The little bit of vibration would be fun for someone with a sensitive clit! I just have to practically beat mine up in order to get off. I did enjoy this for some foreplay, though, it was a nice tease.
I'll post an addendum when the boy comes for a visit. ;)
Check out the Vibrating Pleasure Pump and other toys at Good Vibrations!
(photos courtesy of Adult Industry News, AINews.com)So on Sunday I did my first adult movie.
Seriously! It's been years of me wanting to get into pornography but things never really clicked. I'd only get requests from companies who wanted to market me as a "fat piggy" girl and I really hate that. I don't want to add to fat phobia, OR the fetishizing of fat girls' bodies.
So I waited. And got pretty old for porn- I mean, 26? I'm practically withered in porn years.
I applied at No Fauxxx but didn't know what to do with a camera on my own... Kink, of course, never wrote me back, and Pink and White kept promising (and maybe, in January?) but so far, no luck.
Then I started talking to a woman named Kelly. She runs Padded Kink, a great BDSM website with lots of hot chubby girls and boys on it. Yum! She donated a month's subscription to my fundraising cause, which was lovely of her. Poking around her site I found myself wanted to give it a go- when I found out she was going to be in my neck of the woods, I jumped on the opportunity.
But then I started to get nervous. I hadn't done porn before. What was I thinking? I'd have to TALK, carry a conversation, act like I know what I'm doing! Madness. I must be mad. Never mind my fear that the stuff I enjoy is just too weird for camera. But I did two scenes. And I had SO much fun, Kelly was a delight to work with. Amusingly, two porn scenes, 40 min each, and I never took off my clothes- but there's always next time, with the boy. ;)
The first scene was a cowgirl/cow scene with this beautiful woman I'm lucky enough to have played with before. Our chemistry was automatic, and I played with her much like I would have had we been alone. Her kisses make me crumple. It was an incredibly hot, weird scene and I loved it.
The second scene was a an ageplay/encouraged assplay scene with me as a Mummy. It was kind of fun to explore this role in a way that was playful, experimental, with no pressure. I found the dialogue easier than expected, though not knowing the man I was playing with that well definitely added an awkwardness. Still, it was fun, and I look forward to seeing them both!I'd tell you more but then why bother getting a subscription, eh? ;)
The thing this really solidified for me is that I love when sex work allows me to be myself and do things I like. I can't wait to do another scene- evil clowns, maybe? Needles? Puppyplay? I'm not sure, but it'll be exciting whatever it is!
Best part is? Place we shot had two adorable 5 month old kittens. AWWWWWW. Sorry, I don't have photos of them. But they were freakin' adorable.
So! Kind of an awesome big deal.
And on the end of another awesome big deal- I'll be able to go back to the UK for a visit after all, and can finalize this damn divorce. HURRAY! Thank you to everyone who helped make it happen- that bond was the tipping point, I think!
I don’t really go on dates very often. I’m a pretty busy person, and I tend to be attracted to similarly busy people- workaholics, often. I find sex with people who are passionate and driven tends to be pretty hot… well, when your google calendars sync, anyway!
So I got lucky twice over when I was sent the Date Night Delight kit by Good Vibrations during a week that I had managed, to my excitement, a date with this really gorgeous woman I had met and flirted with when we crossed paths. What better way to test out this kit, while also impressing my curvy companion?
I hadn’t even opened the kit until I got to her place, because I wanted the contents to be a surprise. I unpacked sparkly tinsel and uncovered a treasure trove of goodies in a variety of scents and effects!
There was a mini Rub Me massage bar, scented with English Lavender. The idea is that as you warm it up in your hands or on your lover’s body, it slowly melts into a luxurious velvety message butter. They’re really nice because they’re not as messy as the oils can be (case in point- I used the Touch Me oil and forgot to screw the cap on all the way, thereby giving my date’s carpet a oil bath). It was a bit cold in my date’s flat, though, so I went to the next item.
I also discovered a small Ignite Me massage candle. Now, I’ve used these a lot, and really enjoy them- I find the melting point to be just right, especially for someone new to wax play. The soy wax melts at a low temperature so you get this sensual warm oil to drop all over your lover’s back. Mmmmm. And the soy wax is excellent because it doesn’t cling to little hairs, it just slides right off! Definitely keep in mind that less is more- the less you pour, the more likely you can just rub the oil into the skin. If you use it as a wax play candle specifically, you may end up with a bit of a flaky mess. This one was a really nice, refreshing Pomegranate Mint scent. I considered playing with this old favorite but decided to try something new instead.
Having picked this lovely lady up from work, I knew I wanted to give her a soothing massage as we chit chatted. Thankfully in the kit there was some Touch Me massage oil, in the scent I like the most, Morning Dew. Because of the sweet almond oil base, it’s not latex-safe, but it makes for a smooth, skin-moisturizing massage oil that does wonders for the masseuse’s hands along with the receiver’s body. I always enjoy offering a massage, because it’s a sensual way to connect with a play partner along with being fantastic foreplay, so the massage oil was definitely welcome.
Unfortunately we didn’t quite get to the Devour Me lickable body oil, which is actually really nice tasting. Normally fruit flavorings really sicken me, because they’re too chemical or too cloying, but the Strawberry Kiss had a light taste that was surprisingly yummy. Again, remember that this body oil might seem like the ideal thing for a genital massage turned to sex, but oil isn’t latex safe.
The kit comes with two different kinds of lubricant, so you can take your pick between Please gel lube or Please cream lube in little one use packets. It didn’t have gloves or condoms in the kit, but we had our own so no issues there! I also loved that there was a mini bullet vibe and batteries in the kit so you had a tiny vibrator on call if needed. Fantastic!
So, quite a variety of sensations and things to play with in this kit, and definitely fun for a date, as we proved until rather late…
My only wish is that instead of 4 massage related things there was something else… perhaps a satiny blindfold or something like that. I can’t imagine getting through all of the oils in a night, no matter how much I enjoy giving a hot girl a sexy rubdown!
Would I recommend the Date Night Delight kit? I would, for sure. I think it’s great to have options, and it’s so compact I can easily toss it in my purse and head out without anyone being the wiser. As I think I’ll be invited back to see my delicious co-tester again… I’d say that’s a recommendation right there.
As someone who spent a good amount of time flying, I am horrified, disgusted, and incredibly pissed off by the new TSA guidelines. Basically, if you want to fly in the US of A, land of the free, you get to choose between having strangers see your naked body thanks to a full body scanner (and those images will be stored!) OR you can have the invasive groping of your breasts and groin. And if you refuse, you better be ready to leave the airport like the criminal you are. Hey, this is for your safety, folks.
These scanners are in effect at Heathrow Terminal 4 and Manchester, but I haven't encountered them there. That said, I know how scary and dehumanizing it is every time I fly to London to have the border control agents check my papers. I can't imagine having that experience be the norm no matter where I fly. And I'm really, really not ok with how this removes my agency as a woman... or how problematic this process has already been.
I mean, look. A three year old girl is forced to go through this enhanced patdown- a patdown that in any other context would have people up in arms as inappropriate sexual touch of a minor, but if it's the TSA it's cool? WTF. But what really got to me was how these guidelines served as a trigger for a rape survivor:
“This was a nightmare come to life,” Celeste says, “I said I didn’t want them to see me naked and the agent started yelling Opt out- we have an opt here. Another agent took me aside and said they would have to pat me down. He told me he was going to touch my genitals and asked if I wouldn’t rather just go through the scanner, that it would be less humiliating for me. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I kept saying I don’t want any of this to happen. I was whispering please don’t do this, please, please.”
Since Celeste didn’t agree to go through the scanner, the enhanced pat down began. “He started at one leg and then ran his hand up to my crotch. He cupped and patted my crotch with his palm. Other flyers were watching this happen to me. At that point I closed my eyes and started praying to the Goddess for strength. He also cupped and then squeezed my breasts. That wasn’t the worst part. He touched my face, he touched my hair, stroking me. That’s when I started crying. It was so intimate, so horrible. I feel like I was being raped. There’s no way I can fly again. I can’t do it.”- from PNC-Minnasota Bureau
The TSA claims these molestations will only happen with same-sex agents- which isn't that much better, frankly. But even so, in practice that's not what's been happening.
Outrage over this has encouraged a National Opt Out day, the day before Thanksgiving, as a way to fight back against these regulations.This opting out means that everyone will receive the enhanced patdown, and the site encourages you to make sure it's done in full view of other passengers. From the videos I've seen, it's pretty horrifying. I have never been somewhere where people have been treated so invasively in an airport. There's a few videos on youtube showing women and children having to go through this grope-down but the father doesn't... again, not really suggesting a very safe or sane situation.
I wouldn't be flying anyway, but I'm definitely not interested in flying after all this. Only flight I'm getting on is one out of the US. Fuck "freedom", I'll take Big Brother any day.
So I've already done a good portion of my holiday shopping- there's still a few things here and there to get. But I've been enjoying looking at gift guides all over the place, and wanted to share this Babeland contest:
Check out their holiday gift guides, pick a toy you want, and email contest@babeland.com your gift guide toy wish and why you deserve it (because if you read this blog, you're probably a dirty filthy pervert like me and therefore unlikely to be on the "good list"). They'll pick a winner at random each week- enter between now and December 21st. Pretty rockin'! Read about the details by clicking below or on this link-
I've been trying to decide what I would want...
Looking over the sexy holiday gift guides, I'm pretty tempted by the OhMiBod Better than Chocolate pictured- why? Cause it works with Skype, and since I'm in a long distance relationship with my boy, that would be an amazing addition to out sexual life when we're apart.
Plus, it can also just be used with any sort of musical hookup wirelessly (and how fun would that be in a nightclub) or just used manually when you don't want all these nifty gadgets, you just want to get off. Sounds good to me. It looks like a great toy that'd be loads of fun for quite some time, while still maintaining that novelty.
My other temptation? This We-Vibe couples kit. The boy and I have been looking for a vibrator we can use during sex, especially hands free, and especially after that one time we tried using the hitachi instead and I kind of bashed my clit into submission.
The We-Vibe looks like a lovely toy, I've read fantastic reviews, and this kit comes with other fun stuff like metal dice and lickable oil. So... it's pretty much a tossup for me between the two. Either would make sex with the boy that little bit more interesting. ::grin::
What would you pick? Where are you shopping for the holidays? I'm curious!
I heard about "An Open Invitation: A Real Swingers Party in San Francisco" and my first thought was, "I bet I know someone in this film. In fact, I bet I know a few people". Then I discovered that the finale of the flick is an orgy in the Upper Floor of the Armory, a gorgeous and luxurious space. Of course thinking about all this made me wildly curious, so I jumped at the chance to have the great folks at Babeland send it my way so I could check it out!
It's a love story. It's a story, in fact, I've encountered in one form or another in my real life out in the alternative sexuality scene- that of a loving, committed couple who find themselves missing that spark in their sex lives and decide to experiment and see what happens. It's a fun journey of discovery into my world, which is fun to watch on the other side!
It starts with a fairly yuppy-looking couple but cute Alison and Will Bloom (played by India Summer and James Deen, who I remembered from Batman XXX) getting home in the evening, undressing and crawling into bed. I loved little things, like the removing of all the decorative pillows to leave only the two they would actually sleep on. Or when she suggests they have sex and he seems surprised and mildly intrigued because, well, they had sex on Tuesday so he figured she wouldn't want to. It seemed like real couple-y things to do, which set a good scene. And that first scene... the sex is sweet, but swift, and focused entirely on his orgasm. He cums, and it's off to bed, her looking a little... wistful.
Meanwhile, this hot couple Vivian and Adam Angel (played by Lorelei Lee and Micky Mod) living next door are a little more free. He removes her panties in the doorway to their flat- she sucks his cock on the rug in the living room- they talk dirty to each other. He rims her, one of my favorite things personally, and then has her use an Njoy Pfun Plug in her ass while he fucks her silly. Unlike the first couple, who were quiet and to the point, these two make their pleasure known (hope their walls are thick!) They make out like they're about to devour each other. It's super hot. He cums on her face and she licks her fingers clean, with them kissing lovingly, snuggling and giggling. Adorable.
Then I totally see someone I know from my OWN experiences at sex parties in SF, and I just had to laugh and remember- for some people, this is porn fodder- for me, well... ;)
Anyway! At a restaurant, these two couples meet up and in a clever move by the Angels involving some not-so-subtle manipulation and some "gifted" wine, end up chatting and getting to know each other. Wine flows, food is fed amongst giggles, and sexual innuendo is heavy. The hookah comes out, and the smoldering gazes definitely hint at this going somewhere. I particularly appreciated the time honored technique of the girls bonding to lay the groundwork for a comfortable situation later down the line. And it's fun to watch the Blooms gradually realize that the couples switch and move fluidly sexually among each other.
I really liked it when the conversation about open relationships starts- of course with Vivian making out with another man and William saying to Adam, "you're ok with what your wife is doing over there?" and Adam shrugging and saying "of course". Oh man have I been in that conversation before! And it was fun watching the party go from cocktails to cock and tail. There's some amazing chemistry and some hot fucking that goes on, and I loved that the PIV or PIA sex was mostly safer sex. Some nice double penetration too... yum yum.
And I really liked that moment the next morning after their first swinger experience to look at each other and say... "did that really happen..?" But the Blooms didn't get the Angels contact information... I'll let you discover how they find each other again, it was kind of awesome. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
I'll say this- I loved the girl on girl scene between Vivian and Alison. For a couple of femmes in stripper heels, I found the sex to be a little rough, and really fucking sexy. Oh, what girls do with their hands..! And of course can't forget the Hitachi in all its glory, doing what it does best.
I really loved when the Blooms talked about Alison's sex with Vivian and William was really turned on by his wife's excitement. And I liked that the Angels seemed like they were really experienced with the swinger scene when they weren't- that was kind of cute, and made a good point that just cause someone seems very confident and comfortable doesn't mean they've been doing it much longer than you!
Then it was time for the orgy in the Upper Floor. It was hilarious to see so many people I recognized, especially people I see out and about at real life parties or camped with at Burning Man! Again, totally a reminder that I am actually in this fantasy community. I really got an appreciation for how strange and amazing that is for other people. That said, I was disappointed that when there was a major scene happening almost everyone else stopped and some guys in the room were actually just watching and wanking- something they wouldn't be allowed to do at a swinger party!
I liked this porn. It was really hot, even though I prefer queer porn. I wish there had been boy on boy action, but hey, that's rarely allowed at swinger parties, sadly. I think it provided a fairly accurate example of a fun, hot, young swinger scene- one I experienced a bit more in London than in San Francisco, to be honest, but then it says a lot that out of 127 "real swingers" I knew quite a few of them!
Obviously, it's not a replacement for negotiating and discussing safer sex- nobody of course talked about safer sex in this porn, even if those precautions were taken in places. But it's porn, it's fantasy. I'm just saying, if you take this stuff to real life, you watch "An Open Invitation" and get inspired? Lots of communication, safer sex, and get tested often. You'll be glad for it.
Would I recommend this? Sure! I think it makes the swinger lifestyle a little less old and creepy, which is the reputation it has, and loads of really hot sex with excellent chemistry. Definitely head over to Babeland and give it a looksee!
I love wearing costumes.
I have costumes for all sorts of occasions- occasions that people outside of the Bay Area don't even consider- Brides of March, Easter in Dolores Park, BYOBW, Whobilation, zombie stumbles, Pillow Fight Club, all sorts of things. When someone calls me to join them for a schoolgirl bar rampage, I have a costume for that. If I have a gig as a vampire stage manager, I have a costume for that. If someone said to me "right, I need a 1940's nurse that's traveled to the future and is also a werewolf spy" I could probably whip something up from the stuff I have. It's crazy.
It's not that I have an addiction to costumes, exactly. I live an interesting enough life to not feel the need to pretend to be someone else! But I am attracted to costume events and I love Halloween, so I think I just started to gather these things knowing that eventually I'll need that heart-shaped eyepatch or those cat whiskers. I adore post Halloween sales because for me, those are clothes that'll be useful in totally random contexts for years.
I think going to parties really spurred along my costume love. I got into the idea of avatars, and letting different aspects of yourself shine. Something that's always resonated with me is the quote from RuPaul- "we're born naked, all the rest is drag". So true! Every time I dress I'm so conscious of the drag I'm putting on- femme drag, little girl drag, responsible adult drag, corporate drag, geek drag, elegant drag, casual drag. Everything I put on, clothes, makeup, accessories- it creates a story about who I am that day, in that moment. I love that. I love feeling like you can always shed your skin and start over. And I love that it's just as valid to do it to be ridiculous as it is to do it to be sexy or make a point.
But ultimately, I like costuming because it gives me confidence. I'm creative and good at dressing up in a way that I'm not good at other arts. Theatrics are my element, and I've always been interested in fashion and costumes. I like the impact well-thought-out drag can have. And I love being playful and silly.
It's not just my own costumes, either. I met the boy primarily because he stood out of the sea of uniforms and black in the outfit you see here, thanks to the lovely editor of Filament magazine (who has damn good taste and knows how to make a boy pretty up). I was in my rocket suit. Intrigued by someone else who seemed to get my love of fancy dress and drag and being ridiculous, I found myself a partner in crime... and animal ears.
Dressing up is a way for me to connect with others. It's a way for me to find my people. Wherever I go, I can pick out my people- the ones who wear something clever and creative- from those wearing merely a costume from a bag without any... consciousness? Artistic flair? Extra points for people being dandy-ish or genderfucking, or otherwise playing with norms- like at the fem dom club, people who moved beyond the red and black latex and leather certainly caught my eye... and, well, look at my boy, he's awfully sweet looking in bunny ears and an ascot, isn't he?
And how can I not bring up that dressing up has a fun role play element too? I love kitty play, pony play, age play, service submission- my boy can be Robin, or Prince Charming, or a cow, or a puppy, depending on the costumes and props we use. I can be a Victorian lady, or a Scrabble game, or a crazy cat lady, or a clown- again, totally depending. And the clothes transform me- I feel graceful and elegant in my corset and gloves, perky with my pom poms and short skirt, filthy and oh-so-wrong in my gingham dress and cowgirl hat. And it's fun to pretend to be different archetypes and personas when you're messing around!
So, yeah. I dress up every day that I get dressed. Sometimes more than others. It makes me feel free to decide not just what I want to look like, but who I'm gonna be. What do I need to emphasize to get through the day? Sometimes I need strength- sometimes I need seduction- sometimes I need professional. Costumes brighten my world and keep it interesting. And I love interesting!
So of course every website has its own gift guides for the holidays, which is cool, especially if you're one of those people who isn't sure what to give someone.
Well, you know me. I give a lot of people books, geek stuff, and sex toys for the holidays, because that's pretty much what I always give people for every occasion. Probably cause everyone I know is a bookwormy sexy geek. Hurray for my life! But, even so, I notice that while I adore getting people presents and the hunt for the perfect thing, it stresses a lot of people out.
So here's a personal sexy stocking stuffer guide at one of my top stops for presents, Good Vibrations.
Maybe you're looking for some smaller presents to allspice things up (see what I did there? ho ho!) I know personally I get bored pretty quickly and would rather have a few different smaller things than too many big toys. This is why I love Xmas stockings and always have. The variety appeals to me!
So one of the first things I would put into a stocking are these sex checks.
I know, I know, sex checks, right? Corny. Not these ones! With some really interesting new possibilities like "seduce your lover like someone of another gender" and "one hour unlimited kissing", or my favourite "an erotic picnic in bed".
Don't worry, it's got all the old standards, too-blindfolded sex, a striptease, spankings. I think it's a great way to encourage experimentation without pressure. And I like that it suggests things like genderfuckery and sensual play without sexual play. Ranges of erotic experiences I find leads to hotter play in general!
Another thing I recommend as a stocking stuffer is one of the Good Vibrations massage candles. I use these a lot! You don't have to be into BDSM and wax play to enjoy them- the soy wax melts at a low temperature, turning into beautifully warm massage oil. Additionally, because of the softness of the soy wax, if it gets on chest, pubic or leg hair, it doesn't hurt to get off, unlike regular wax.
If you DO want to introduce your partner to sensation play or BDSM, this is also a gentle way to start. The hot wax dribbling over a tense back or, my favourite, some aroused genitals, feels incredibly sensual and lovely. It'd be easy to introduce some simple bondage into the mix too. And the scents range from the freshness of Morning Dew to the sweetness of French Vanilla or the calm of English Lavender.
Now, maybe it's the little girl in me- ok, it definitely is- but I have to point out these incredibly cute vibrators. Hello Kitty as a vibe, of course, is just way too cute to resist! It's basically like a pocket rocket but, well, pinker, for a start.
It's a great wee vibe to have in your purse just in case if you're anything like me and might duck into the Lusty Lady on your way home, or have a hot date night on the town. Nice and sturdy, good vibration quality, and not too loud, it's perfect for some discreet messing about. Not that I do that, of course, but if I did... ;)
Also I have to say I love these little guys- how bright, colourful, and cute are they? They're waterproof, silicone covered and have a lot of intensity for such a tiny toy! Pretty quiet, too.
I think these are good for couples playing. Holding one on your clit while your lover gives you cunnilingus or thrusts into you- mm. Also, experiment with this around the nipples or anus for some shivery nice sensations (at this price, you can afford to get one per person, though being silicone they can be sterilized).
Additionally, if you wanted to get a friend a fun, cheap, nonthreatening vibrator, I think this is a good intro. With little details like the bunny ears or the dolphin nose, you can have fun trying lots of different things with these toys!
Finally, if you've ever actually stuffed a stocking, you'll find that it's a good idea to have one or two bigger items to fill it up mostly and then some little things. My parents usually filled up my stocking with a container of Pringles, which I'd start to eat at 4am when I opened my stocking and then become lethargic, thus buying them time for another few hours.
I know what I want to stuff the boy's stocking with- the Understudy kit.
We've been talking about playing with gender, and I really, really want to fuck him with his own cock. Plus I love the idea of only letting him use the understudy as his cock as a form of teasing him- or, of course, the possibilities for double penetration. Mmmm.
Plus, if you have a long distance relationship, something like this can be a godsend, I hear. I know that I miss the boy's penis terribly when he's away and would love to have a spare! I think we're going to get one over the holidays regardless, so stay tuned and I'll tell you how it goes.
Tis the season to start collecting your potential pressies before it's a stressful mess! Or, you can always get YOURSELF a present to relax holiday pressures- may I recommend a Hitachi?
