Category / why I do what I do

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How I became a Pro Domme

My move to professional Mistressing happened when I was in San Francisco and saw an ad on Craigslist for pro Dommes. I figured, "hey, I could do that" and applied. The place I went to was a nice enough house in a... questionable area. Not bad, but not great either. I whizzed through the interview, was told to come in dressed in Mistress-y clothes and stockings (not fishnets, to my surprise) and heels. Now, I had seen the images… View More

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sex work is not equal to immoral

I was on a forum where the poster was discussing how, if his daughter became a WG, he'd want to kill the punters. He said he knew this made him a hypocrite. My response was as follows. I became a pro Domme and then a WG because I hated retail. Yes, it was "more decent" by society's standards, but I was never that fussed with their morals anyway. Instead of slaving away 20 hours a week as a food service worker or a retail… View More

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on the fringes of Ladyfest in Edinburgh

So I went to Edinburgh, with the intention of working for a couple of days and then chilling out doing vacation-y things. I stayed in a lovely flat that I'm quite pleased with, made some good money, and moved into my couchsurfing host's flat feeling ready to be lazy. My host was running something called "A Dialogue on Sex Work", and I was going to tag along and learn a little on how things… View More

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"I'm a hooker" "No, you're a Dominatrix" "..?.."

It happens a lot. Someone politely asks me what I do for work, and I sit and look at them, trying to read them for what my response should be. Do I say hooker? Do I say escort? Dominatrix? Or do I not bother to field the whole sex work thing entirely and say something vague like admin or counseling? It's funny in a way, because when I say something like I'm an escort or a hooker some people around me are eager to correct me, to say… View More

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also: question: has escorting changed you?

This was a question posted on one of my favorite forums: has escorting changed you, personality-wise? Yes, I think it has. Mostly in good ways. Sexually: yes, I've changed. I've become more confident, better at saying "I like it when you do this" and "no, don't do that, try this way", and better at holding to my boundaries. I'm much better at saying no. I'm also better at saying when something is… View More

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back in the UK- and what sex workers will do for free

So first order of business- after my Poland drama and my visa I was very stressed out about leaving the UK for Massachusetts, but I went anyway. I almost didn't get back in. … View More

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lookee, I'm famous!

First it was a stint talking about phone sex work for Current TV's Sex and Money- http://filmtv.entertainment-focus.com/news119.php Then it was the discussion of the Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society for Generation Sex- unfortunately, no link, though I have had people ask "was that you??" Then it was being interviewed in the Independent about how I feel about the trafficking… View More

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emotional broadband

Intimacy isn't difficult for me to access. I've believed it was because of my empathy, or because I'm lonely/clingy, because of my time in SF where that's more common or because of my time in the hospital where you made great friends and lost them in days. You never really knew when you'd see someone again, so why wish you had gotten to know them better when you could just invest the time? What's there to lose, really? This probably… View More

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"he's not that into you"

This is the title of a self-help book I'm sure you're all familiar with that apparently came about after another fucked up episode of Sex in the City. It's a phrase meant to stick in our heads and make us question every time someone cancels on us, or postpones, or even doesn't call/text as often/quickly as we think they should. I've found myself looking at an empty inbox and thinking, "hmm... is he really not that into me? If he was, wouldn't… View More

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a rather weighty issue

When I'm with a new client, or a new lover, or if I'm just having a self-concious sort of day, I get a bit nervous stripping down. I make sure my panties are smoothed over my belly in a way that disguises the way it curves to my pubic hair. I am pleased and flattered when I see how hard they are, or how wet, and their enjoyment of my flesh in turn gets me turned on. It likely doesn't… View More