Category / fake it til you make it

Post 1 to 10 of 70

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when sex work is work

This month, any type of sex work, minus, perhaps, the Domme sessions, has felt like work. I have to drag myself up, force myself to log online and turn my phone on, and I'm just... not feeling it. In fact, I'm not feeling it to the extent that I just go watch some shit on the Iplayer instead. Sometimes I'll leave my phone on, in case, but webcam? Can't be bothered to prance around in lingerie for a bunch of men to wank off without even a… View More

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physical touch in personal settings

It's odd, but since I've been back from Poland I've been perhaps overly aware of personal space. Like a feral cat, I become curious about human contact but easily spooked- a lack of sexual contact or context has left me unsure how to handle cuddling with my lovers. Work is easier. First, I'm usually the Domme, so I get to decide how much contact and it's on my terms. There's an end point, so if I set an expectation high I don't have to… View More

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"If women ran the world, there wouldn't be any war..."

"...nations would tease each other until they developed eating disorders. " Hah! Ok, ok, just kidding. Or am I? It's sad, but I think the show "When Women Rule the World" is basically out to say "look, see what happens when we put women in charge? They can't corral others into doing what needs to be done, they become… View More

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edinburgh, why do you forsake me

I'm doing as well this trip as I did last time, but I think I've realized a few things about tours to cities- Saturday is not a day to get any work… View More

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love dries up even faster than sperm

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something… View More

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emotional fences

There's a big difference between London and San Francisco when it comes to emotional boundaries. In London, it's a joke, but only half of one, when people discuss the British "stiff upper lip". You are encouraged to keep your eyes down and your mouth shut when it comes to the emotional side of things- it's ok to have feelings, as long as you keep them to yourself. This is particularly true if you're male, though it's not exclusive to… View More

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Sex Work vs Sex Play

I've been thinking a lot about sex as work vs sex as play. I'd like to say it's an easy equation- when I'm having fun sex at home, the sex I have for work is more enjoyable, and I bring that energy back to my lovers, who send me back to work with a spring in my step that only copius, well-enjoyed orgasms can provide. But that's not always the case. Sometimes the fact I'm having fun sex with my lovers makes me feel more resentful… View More

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libido lethargy

It’s been too long since I’ve had a bruise on my body that was sexyfuntimes related, instead of just due to my own clumsiness. I missed the joy I would feel looking at the underside of my breast to discover little black and blue kisses, little reminders of orgasms hard won. I missed the desire that would overwhelm me, the slaps to my face that made me wonder how hard was too hard, the tears that would trickle out of my eyes,… View More

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Orgasmatronic

Calico posted a blog a bit ago about orgasm, and how there's lots of ways to have sexual fun without orgasm being the goal, or even the point. I have to say. For me, within a sexual encounter? I want to have an orgasm. Do I need it? No. But I do want it, and if my orgasm isn't forthcoming more often than it is, then I tend to feel a bit... unfulfilled. And more to the point, I'm horny and… View More

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"he's not that into you"

This is the title of a self-help book I'm sure you're all familiar with that apparently came about after another fucked up episode of Sex in the City. It's a phrase meant to stick in our heads and make us question every time someone cancels on us, or postpones, or even doesn't call/text as often/quickly as we think they should. I've found myself looking at an empty inbox and thinking, "hmm... is he really not that into me? If he was, wouldn't… View More