Category / male privilege

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male privilege, desperation, or both...?

I just came home from a night shift at my volunteer gig. My last call was one from a man who wanted to discuss his budding interest in men. Ok, I figured. We talked a bit about how he came to this conclusion- he had watched porn and decided he wanted to be in the "female" (read: bottom) position during these sexual encounters. He then decided he needed to wear makeup in order to fulfill this role. I challenged his belief that he needed to "be… View More

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when sex work is work

This month, any type of sex work, minus, perhaps, the Domme sessions, has felt like work. I have to drag myself up, force myself to log online and turn my phone on, and I'm just... not feeling it. In fact, I'm not feeling it to the extent that I just go watch some shit on the Iplayer instead. Sometimes I'll leave my phone on, in case, but webcam? Can't be bothered to prance around in lingerie for a bunch of men to wank off without even a… View More

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Rescue some other chick, ok?

Warning- this blog post discusses some serious stuff- might be triggering if you have an abuse history. It's not… View More

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phone sex

Usually, when I'm on the phone having phone sex, I end up masturbating. I generally start out thinking "oh, god, whatever," rolling my eyes in the mirror at the fantasies that, to them, seem very taboo and unique and that, to me, are heterosexist propaganda studies. But more often than not, I get caught up in a piece of it, and end up rubbing one out, often with the attitude of "well, what else am I going to do?" Oftentimes I cum. I… View More

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"If women ran the world, there wouldn't be any war..."

"...nations would tease each other until they developed eating disorders. " Hah! Ok, ok, just kidding. Or am I? It's sad, but I think the show "When Women Rule the World" is basically out to say "look, see what happens when we put women in charge? They can't corral others into doing what needs to be done, they become… View More

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ok, let me be clear, here

Do NOT call me "darling", "sweetie", "luv", "cutie", or any other name like that until we've met. And even then, proceed with caution. I really hate those sorts of pet names, particularly from men I don't know. If you aren't paying me, you aren't paying me enough to patronize me. Oh, wait, this is why I do sex work- because NO JOB will pay me enough to patronize me. It would be a whole lot. In fact, I don't know if there's a… View More

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problems I have with Gor

I've always struggled to respect Goreans as a variation of BDSM. I have multiple problems with it. -There's an implication that this is how the world "really" is, and if we all just stopped with the pretense and got down to it, we'd "know better". Uh huh.-Also, it doesn't help that most of the people interested are men- men who still haven't gotten rolling for stats, if you know… View More

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re: that client

Well, to clarify, he was a douche. I should've known. When I told him that I didn't know what sortof precautions another girl might have he said "I'm born and bred here, I don't give a fuck what you want or need" to which I said "well, never mind then- I'll blacklist you, toodles" Any decent guy will understand that their fantasy comes second to our safety.… View More

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hit and run

When I wrote my blog on "What IS Safe, Anyway", I hadn't been actually assaulted in my off/on 5 years of various types of hands on sex work. Well, a couple of nights ago, I was. It's interesting to me that the first thing I want to do is reassure people I'm not badly hurt, that I'm ok, that I'm angry and poorer for it but I'll be… View More

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macho macho man

The question “what is feminism” was brought up on one of the forums I’m on, a kinky one, and it led me to think a lot about my position on feminism, but more my thoughts on men and masculine identity, something I rarely think about as a femme. I would say I identify as a feminist. How can I not, being a woman who would prefer to live her life without worrying that her sex or gender will cause her to be at risk… View More