Category / not feeling well

Post 1 to 10 of 10

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working when under the weather

Even at the least customer-oriented of jobs, I suck when sick. In fact, the more I've learned to rest and let my body get over being sick, the more impatient I am about catering to someone else's needs when sniffly, coughy, or otherwise not well. However, I figured I'd try anyway, just doing a phone shift or two. Can't be that bad, right? No dressing up involved, very little effort on my part, just listening and talking… View More

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when sex work is work

This month, any type of sex work, minus, perhaps, the Domme sessions, has felt like work. I have to drag myself up, force myself to log online and turn my phone on, and I'm just... not feeling it. In fact, I'm not feeling it to the extent that I just go watch some shit on the Iplayer instead. Sometimes I'll leave my phone on, in case, but webcam? Can't be bothered to prance around in lingerie for a bunch of men to wank off without even a… View More

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"just do what you want..."

I was joking with a friend about this- the client who says "just do what you want". What I want would go in this order- -you pay me and I leave, nothing else happens-you pay me and then clean my house and then leave-you pay me and I tie you up, leave you in a corner while I read, and then untie you and leave-you pay me and I hit you with things til I'm bored/satisfied then I leave Oh, and I don't dress… View More

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love dries up even faster than sperm

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something… View More

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burnout

I think, along with sex worker burnout, I'm suffering kink, poly, and femme burnout. Or maybe it's just a generalized burnout. I remember in one of my favourite Marilyn Monroe flicks, "Some Like it Hot", Marilyn is explaining to Jack Lemmon how easily she falls for saxophone players. She gives the cutest little pout, and says how she… View More

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dysfunctional

My fingertips, almost every single one, are either bleeding or have scabs. I have been so anxious for the last week that I've had to repaint my nails 4 times, and try as I might to keep myself from biting my cuticles, it hasn't… View More

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polyamouraint

I've had a long struggle with polyamory. I love the idea of it. I want to be up for it. I've done it, happily, before, but never as the primary. I was always Girl #2, the unicorn in the closet for when a couple wanted sexyfuntimes. And it wasn't a bad… View More

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Pinball Princessing and Creationist Dinosaurs

So a couple of weekends ago, I took a long ass van ride down to Southern California, a place I swore I'd never go again. I have a lot of… View More

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Real Talk about Bodies, and a Fierce Desire to Transcend Them

CW: suicidality, mental health struggles, the questionable community vs who shows up, isolation,… View More

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Perchance to Dream

"I can almost touch the soil beneath your whisperI can almost feel the hopes you left behindI can almost touch the soil beneath your whisperI can almost feel the hopes you left… View More