Category / self harm

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masochism and self harm

Calico, as usual, has spurred me into some thought about masochism, self-harm, and, of course, "Secretary", the movie that brought the two together. I was a self harmer. I have never been a masochist. To me, one could easily be a precursor to the other, and I'll explain that in a moment. But, call it my martyr complex- when I take pain in a kinky session, it's because I… View More

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out

I can't really say there was a time relating to my sexuality that I was closeted. As I grew up, and expanded my interests, I felt pretty comfortable telling my friends and family where I was going- I came out as bisexual, then as kinky, then as poly, then as queer. I'm very lucky in that way. Even when I was in school, where being queer wasn't ok, I made it through without too much hassle. While I basically live my life under a stage name, I… View More

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Social Media Saves Lives: Stop Talking Shit About It

I keep coming across posts that wax poetic about the good old days before we were all staring at computer screens.… View More

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Real Talk about Bodies, and a Fierce Desire to Transcend Them

CW: suicidality, mental health struggles, the questionable community vs who shows up, isolation,… View More

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There is No Shame in Asking for Help.

Trigger Warning- frank discussion of suicide When a well-known porn star direct messaged me and tenderly asked if there was anything she could do to help with my struggles, and if it would be ok to signal boost… View More

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Where Self Care Meets Escapism (And Balancing That With Responsibility)

Trigger warnings: drug use, sexual assault, take this advice with a grain of salt Also… View More