Category / personal

Post 21 to 30 of 271

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Rescue some other chick, ok?

Warning- this blog post discusses some serious stuff- might be triggering if you have an abuse history. It's not… View More

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It's Greebo's time.

Just so you guys know... I'm going be bringing Greebo to the vet tomorrow to have him put to sleep. Hes not in enormous pain yet, but he's very very weak, struggling to jump up things r even walk very far, and while he's still slightly mobile, I think he'd be in severe pan while I'm away in Poland and I'd rather be there when he passes than have him suffer in my absence. It's been really hard to come to this conclusion, and it'll be even… View More

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it's been a while

So, I've been silent on this blog for a while. This is, in part, because I've been trapped in Poland. I got denied entry to the UK, due to my volunteer work (which apparently counts the same as paid work, which means I was working illegally) and sent back to Krakow, where I've been cooling my heels and trying to get a visa. Being in a country where the women are still unable to get birth control or abortions regularly and… View More

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god save the queens

Thank the GODS, I'm back in the UK, comfy and safe in London with my lovers and my toy bag. It feels like the promised land after Krakow, a place with seedy sex shops, Catholics, and undercover gay men. I think the trip to Amsterdam I went on for a few days before coming back (in case I had to try to sneak in on the ferry- luckily I got my visa) was just what I needed. I was there for Pride, which was glorious in a lot of ways, though… View More

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masochism and self harm

Calico, as usual, has spurred me into some thought about masochism, self-harm, and, of course, "Secretary", the movie that brought the two together. I was a self harmer. I have never been a masochist. To me, one could easily be a precursor to the other, and I'll explain that in a moment. But, call it my martyr complex- when I take pain in a kinky session, it's because I… View More

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sex work zealot

"Zeal" is a positive term, I think. To have zeal for something means to have a passion, a fervor, a tireless devotion to a cause- a powerful enthusiasm. Yet, to be a "zealot" is a negative term- it goes from fervor to militant in the dictionary, from being driven to being a fanatic. I came to think about this when I was looking at a blog called the… View More

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physical touch in personal settings

It's odd, but since I've been back from Poland I've been perhaps overly aware of personal space. Like a feral cat, I become curious about human contact but easily spooked- a lack of sexual contact or context has left me unsure how to handle cuddling with my lovers. Work is easier. First, I'm usually the Domme, so I get to decide how much contact and it's on my terms. There's an end point, so if I set an expectation high I don't have to… View More

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"I'm a hooker" "No, you're a Dominatrix" "..?.."

It happens a lot. Someone politely asks me what I do for work, and I sit and look at them, trying to read them for what my response should be. Do I say hooker? Do I say escort? Dominatrix? Or do I not bother to field the whole sex work thing entirely and say something vague like admin or counseling? It's funny in a way, because when I say something like I'm an escort or a hooker some people around me are eager to correct me, to say… View More

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oh, the fetish con

This weekend was Skin Two weekend, which gets a lot of people in a tizzy- flurries of latex, rushing about from party to party, all sorts of excitement. Me, well, I like my 11pm bedtime, so I just go for the shopping. The shopping was reasonable- a lot like LAM usually except with more stuff for the boys this time, I found. There aren't the same sort of "con deals" you get with comic conventions or even the Kinky Flea in… View More

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"just do what you want..."

I was joking with a friend about this- the client who says "just do what you want". What I want would go in this order- -you pay me and I leave, nothing else happens-you pay me and then clean my house and then leave-you pay me and I tie you up, leave you in a corner while I read, and then untie you and leave-you pay me and I hit you with things til I'm bored/satisfied then I leave Oh, and I don't dress… View More