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Holiday Hos: Bid on my Auction, Get Signed Unique Prints!

I am auctioning off 3 holiday-themed signed prints of myself- winner picks theme!

Every year for several years now, I've done a holiday themed photo shoot at Christmas- the listing photo is from last year's shoot. It's about that time this year, but I wanted to do things a little... differently, this time.

I'm going to a March conference on feminism and sexuality in DC, Momentum, and I'm looking to raise some money to fly out there for my talk on consent in altsex. Important issue is Important!

So this year, I'm offering the winner of this flash auction the ability to choose from three themes- sexy Santa pinup (eggnog splosh optional), a switchy sugarplum fairy, or a saucy slutty snowflake. You can also choose soft- or hardcore. I will sign 3 8.5x11 prints from that shoot to the name/s of your choice and put it in the mail fresh from the shoot! These 3 images will be private to you exclusively- no one else will ever see them. It will be a solo shoot with a high quality lens done by a professional photographer.

In order to pick your theme, you MUST let me know which one you want by NOON Friday Dec 23rd! Otherwise I will choose for you.

The money raised from this will go directly to flying me out to Momentum- so you get some sexy curvy girl porn, I get to raise issues around consent and altsex, everyone wins! You'll be funding good work.

Help me get to Momentum while wanking to images of me covered in eggnog (among other possibilities).

If you live in another country from the US, we can discuss a situation where another account bids on your behalf, and you pay me via paypal instead. ;)

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My Top Twenty People/Organizations of 2011

Inspired by the inimitable Lori from Rarely Wears Lipstick, I thought about having a "top ten women" list. But then I thought "I want to include some guys", and then I thought "I also want to include genderqueers", so had to scrap it. And then ten didn't seem like enough. So WHATEVER, RULES, I'll gonna give you twenty(!) people and organizations I think deserve a little extra love this year, because they helped move me forward and upward.

They are in no particular order (seriously, I ran them through a random generator).

1. Sex Worker Open University
I love these guys so much. Seriously. I was crushed to not make it to their event! They're a dedicated group of sex workers and allies who create events/skillshares that work to show a better spectrum of sex work experience. Inspirational.


2. Momentum
This feminism and sexuality conference is something I'm really, really excited for. Run by the people who brought you the NYC Sex Bloggers calendar, they've gone out of their way to address the concerns of sex workers, including having a liaison just for that, which I think is amazing.


3. Vixen Creations
Every time I have needed to do a fundraiser or raise awareness about a topic, from consent to sex worker rights, Vixen has been happy to donate whatever I need. I'm very grateful to their support in helping me do the work I do!


4. Maggie Mayhem
This woman is epic. She's such a generous lovely person, and fiercely inspirational. It's really thanks to her that such a rocket got lit under my ass to talk about consent issues in the altsex community, and when I needed a place to stay, she let me in without even having met me. She's smart as hell, politically pervy, and a force of nature. I consider her a dear friend now. <3


5. Patrasha and the Bay Area Sex Workers Outreach Project
SWOP saved my life. I was really struggling being back in the Bay Area, not knowing what to do for work, how to meet people, what to do. SWOP structured me, gave me some focus and purpose. Patrasha got me to the meetings, so I owe her majorly. Community is invaluable.

6. Jiz Lee
Jiz is just amazing. I like their Karma Pervs work especially- porn for charity? Yes please! Never mind that they're an amazing performer who breaks the barriers of mainstream and queer porn, which I'm a big fan of.

7. Maxine Holloway at Feminist Porn Net
Maxine is someone I admired from afar. Then I got to know her a bit and realized that she's just an amazing person all around. I'd hate her for being smart, pretty and a lovely woman, but... she's so talented and sweet that I just can't. She does a lot of great work around feminist porn.

8. Lola Sparkle and Mutiny
Lola Sparkle works on a lot of awesome projects, including and especially Mutiny, which is like a mixture of an academic discussion and a cabaret. She's tireless about her work around sex worker rights, queer activism, and anti-racist efforts, among other things. Somehow she also manages time to be a great friend.

9. Katie at One Hot Crumpet
Ok, so this is a conflict of interest in a way, but then, it's my list! I kinda helped name "One Hot Crumpet", and Katie's been doing some great writing over there. She's on this list for multiple nights of late night support, being incredibly compassionate about nonmonogamy issues, and for being a lot of fun to top.

10. Alex Dymock
Really, I have a love affair with Alex's red hair and the way she twists it around her finger when she really gets into a topic with you. She's got a bit of a blog (and I hope there'll be more soon!) called Abject Intimacies, where she discusses and deconstructs sex, disgust and the law. Talking to her will explode your brain, in a good way.

11. Slim (@sfslim)
Slim is a guy who has privilege and tries his damnedest to use it to raise awareness. I have a lot of mad respect for him. He's a maker, a shaker, a traveler and a Burner. Plus he makes a really funny Cockney. Follow his twitter and marvel at all the cool links.


12. Angie
She's an artist, a brilliant cook, a breema specialist, and one of my best friends. She's an amazing woman who kicks life's ass, all the time. She's given me great advice on relationship stuff, baked cupcakes for Occupy Oakland, and is just always there to lend a hand and an ear. Even if she borrows all my costume stuff. ;)


13. BattyKitten
BattyKitten is just a fabulous woman who has the biggest heart. She's also an incredible costume designer- whenever I see her I'm soooo jealous of her stuff! She thankfully has an etsy store now so I can try to capture a bit of her glory.


14. Power Breakfasts
This is a secret group out in London who were a major support for me in so many ways. They were the first to show me that I could have a community where I felt totally supported and safe, and I didn't have to fight all the time. So much love.


15. Mission Control
So I'm totally a cult member. So what? I love the parties at Mission Control, love that they're striving to be better about representation and reflection, love that they listen when someone says "this person is an issue" and don't accuse you of starting drama or "making a fuss". It's another place I feel safe, and they're pretty few and far between.


16. Center for Sex and Culture
They've hosted the Safe/Word workshop, along with multiple other events that are sometimes challenging on the topics they cover. It's a community center that's really for the community. The CSC is one of those resources I consider myself quite lucky to have.


17. Labcoats and Lingerie
Fantastic blog run by two great writers. Every post on here makes me sit back and go "huh", which is awesome. Expect to be exposed to issues around kink, dis/ability, gender, nonmonogamy, and social issues. Yum yum yum.


18. Kink Academy
When I came across this site I was like "WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE". It's an online resource for workshops by various community presenters on everything under the sun, some of which are free. I'd subscribe, though, so I can have access to the more intermediate and advanced topics.


19. Jay Wiseman
Jay has been a big supporter of Maggie and I with our Safe/Ward and consent culture work- he helped me feel confident that I was doing good and important work, and that gave me the energy to keep it up. He's also been a good friend and really helpful with advice.


20. My Mom
My mom deserves special mention here. She has been massively supportive and understanding about issues that most parents couldn't even imagine talking to their kids about. I'm grateful to her for supporting my work, sending me links to job possibilities, and being a fabulous cheerleader, even if what I do is a bit... unusual. I love you, Mom.

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The Arrogance of (some) Male Dominants: or, Why I Don't Submit

I love meeting new people via social media. I like the way that the internet connects me with tons of folks from all walks of life that I may never meet in person- I get exposed to all sorts of ideas and theory and politics and I devour it.

But there is one type of person I could really do without.

Arrogant male dominants.

Oh my god, could I do without them. In fact, I would go to more kinky events if I wasn't completely convinced that I would run, multiple times, into one or another of this breed- the swaggering "Master" type who has MULTIPLE YEARS EXPERIENCE!@#!@ and therefore most certainly know more about what being a dominant means than a whippersnapper like me. Extra points if more than a year of that experience was cybersex with a kink element online.

Or there's the other kind, the one who's quite smug that as a woman, I can't be a dominant. Maybe, just maybe, I could be a switch, but of course if I met the right dominant man I would straighten up and fly right. Oh, and of course I'm not REALLY queer. Again, if I met the right man I would know my proper place. It's biology, innit?

Generally guys like this are not in my world. I avoid them in person- if I can't, then my pretty obvious annoyance/repulsion makes it clear that they should bark up some other tree. I find these men are often like petri dish grown molds, destined to pop up when cissexism, heterosexism and patriarchy reign unchallenged. And personally? I'm allergic.

But on the internet, the Twue Male Doms crawl out of the wordwork (see what I did there?). There's no escaping them. They're sniffing around my Facebook. They're all up in my Fetlife. They're following me on Twitter. And they don't seem to understand that no, I am not a submissive, I am not into men, and I'm not changing my mind for them. Some male dominants are polite when they ask me to play, and I explain, and they're really pleasant about it, it's no biggie when I decline.

Others throw a weird sort of tantrum.

Maybe they think I look like a challenge, because I sometimes post photos of me bound or gagged. Maybe they think they're impressive catches and I should be grateful for their attention. Maybe they don't realize they come off as massive asshats. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt after all.

Today, for example, I had one who started off innocently enough, joking about my Twitter bio, where I say I generally follow people back who talk to me about something other than my tits. Cool, I don't mind a little good-natured larking about, right? He asked me what I liked talking about, like, for example, being tied up/gagged (thanks to my profile image, which has me peeling duct tape off my lips, a commentary on the Facebook censorship thing earlier in the week). I politely corrected him that actually, *I* was the one who did the tying, and anyway, I wasn't that into rope. I was a little annoyed that he'd make assumptions, but I get it.

That's when I discovered he was another one of those dickish male doms. Or at least he acted like one... and when I tried to get him to stop, nope, he just kept on going.

First, he questioned my skill. He's never met me. As far as I know, he knows nothing about me besides what he's learned on Twitter, which is not much. Strike one. Then, he says that you "know a dominatrix/dominant by their rope work". Uh, no. You don't need to be into rope bondage to be a Dom/me. Strike two. Then, he attempts to hit on me, saying that he subspaces for a dominatrix who can handle him- like I care? Strike three.

Kitty's not pleased.

I told him that I don't like being called a dominatrix and that I dislike the suggestion that all dominant women are pros... and he argued with me about it. I said that I used to not care much about bondage cause I stayed where I was told, because I was into service submission, and as a top I prefer duct tape and cling film. He just fixated on the fact I used to be a submissive and then said he was disappointed in me cause he had tried to be friends!

I just had to roll my eyes and say "thanks for the blog fodder"- because it's so stereotypical it's frustrating. I'm pissed off that he would assume that I was a submissive even after saying I don't ID that way. Why is it that so many male doms feel they are justified in treating female dominants like uppity submissives? Why do they struggle so much when asked not to do something? Why oh why do they feel the need to add to the stereotype that many male dominants are self-obsessed Gor-like knobs with their heads in their asses? I don't WANT to have my squick proven true over and over again! But they let down the side.

The way that people like this guy behave make me actively feel unsafe in my local community. It's certainly part of why I don't submit anymore- I just had too many experiences where the male doms I played with were not interested in an exchange so much as a give/take relationship. I gave, they took. So I quit submitting. I even turned away from kink for a while because I didn't want to deal with it. In London, at a club for female dominants and their submissives, I blossomed, grew confident, grew angry that I had been tricked for so long into doubting my true desires. Because guys like this surrounded me- guys who seemed to feel that all I needed was the right guy to fix me. And I was stupid enough to fall for it.

It bothers me particularly when I think about Safe/Ward and the Consent Culture project. Why? Because my limits are obviously not valuable. My identifications are not respected. What the hell kind of consent culture is this when even simple things politely requested are ignored, and the person ignoring them feels the right to call me a bully for speaking out about it?

Look, male dominants reading this, if there are any. I want to like you. I want you to be my ally in making people feel safe and respected in the kinky world, I want to see you fighting sexism, racism, homophobia, cissexism, ableism in our sex spaces... right alongside me. So please, if I say I'm a dominant woman, trust me- and don't take it as an invitation to challenge me to top you. It makes you look like a twat.

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Interviewed at The Woman's POV!

I have an interview with the gorgeous, totally crushable Maxine Holloway up over at The Woman's POV! Lucky me. :)

Here's a taste:

What is Kitty Stryker’s biggest sexual fantasy right now?

Hee! I have some odd ones. Right now I have a fantasy about dressing like a human version of Pinkie Pie from “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”, listening to pony dubstep while giggling and bouncing around a tied up, scared submissive; I imagine mascara running down their cheeks as I torment them and pleasure them in turns. But then, I generally enjoy klown sex. My brain is a strange, strange place!

Yeah, you know you want to read more. And if you join, you get to see some dirty pictures of me too!

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Trojan's TV Ads, and Sex Toys for Couples

I've been watching TV a bit while blogging (usually CSI, actually) and I normally don't pay a whole lot of attention. I just like background noise. But recently, I've been fascinated by a particular ad- TV ads for Trojan's Twister vibrator, which has aired both during the school day and late at night. Here's the ad:

Now, I've seen an increase in ads for, say, lubricant and condoms, on TV, and that's been cool. It's nice to see something as important as safer sex products being advertised as a positive sexy thing that can bring extra oomph to a couple's sex life. But the thing with condoms is that there's a health, element, right, and you can argue that's true for lube too. They're sexual necessities.

This ad feels a little different, despite the women being feminine. First off, the two women talking about the toy are doing so in the street. They're not ashamed. It's not a back alley sex toy store, it's a suburban neighborhood. The woman who bought the toy is in fact thrilled to get it in her mailbox and can't wait to tell her friend about it, rather than guiltily opening it in private from a discreet package. That seems kind of cool, actually.

My boyfriend is rather fond of sex toys.

Secondly, the two women discussing the toy are not talking about how amazing it'll be for their (assumed) male partners. There's no implied or overt concern that bringing a vibrator into the bedroom will scare a partner off, but rather, that it'll be a fun thing to use for their own pleasure. In 2011, this should not seem subversive, but I feel like in the fairly restrictive, enforced heteronormativity US, it's a big step.

Thirdly, and best of all in my opinion, is when their neighbors, a couple, walk up hand in hand. The two women are discussing how the vibe will "blow your hair back", and, when asked how they are, the couple turn to look at each other happily, saying how they couldn't be better. This move, of course, shows their hair blown back, suggesting that this couple has this toy and yes, indeed, it works pretty well. Again, on the surface, cute, but what is it saying below the surface?

My reading of this ad was that both members of the couple had enjoyed the benefits of this vibrator, which is, btw, not a vibrating cock ring, but a phallic shaped object made mainly for clitoral and vaginal stimulation. But his hair is blown back too, suggesting that just maybe he's gotten to try it out himself. The idea of men using vibrators is still novel to some, so to see it legitimized on TV is kind of awesome.

Not only that, but there's the assumption that they've used it together, as a couple, and it's been super sexy and fun- and that's accepted with a wink wink nudge nudge. He's not threatened by it, they're not worried about it, they just like having a vibrator as part of their sex life.

That's really, really cool, in a world where women still ask, concerned, that their partner might feel intimidated by such a toy, or that having one means that they (or their partner) is a massive sex addict, or that sex toys will ruin their sex lives for anything not involving a toy.

Maybe we are moving forward- one happy vibrated clitoris (or glans) at a time!

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Review: Crystal Kiss Small Red Swirl Plug

I've been such a nice girl in all the naughtiest ways this year, so Crystal Delights let me choose something from their site. For the holidays, I just had to pick the Crystal Kiss Shall Red Swirl Plug- it's like a bejeweled peppermint candy for your bum!

First, I love the wrapping. This plug comes nestled in a padded pouch, perfect for storing and presenting to a lover. Mine was black, with a ribbon closure- you wrap the pouch around the toy and then tie it together to keep it safe.

There's no identifying marks or tags on the bag to suggest that it's for sex toys, so for discreet storage this is quite nice really! I can imagine having it in your lingerie drawer and no one really noticing it- it'd fit right in!

As you can see, this plug is clear with a really pretty red swirl throughout it. It's super smooth and feels as beautiful as it looks. It's not a massive toy, with 2.7" insertable length and 1.4" at the widest point, but it's got a shape that'll keep it right where you want it- nestled between your cheeks! And I love the way that glass, like metal, weighs a bit, giving a nice pressure that feels really, really good.

Another fun thing with glass is that you can warm it up or cool it down, making it into a fun sensation toy. I kind of like slipping it in as is, cold at first but warming up quickly to the heat of my body. Experimenting with temperature is fun!

And of course, you don't have to use it internally to use it as a sensation toy. I've used glass toys as ice that'll never melt before, too. You can get creative.

But the real delight for this toy comes from the sparkly crystal on the end- a Red Magma Swarovski crystal, to be precise! I love butt plugs that have crystals in the end, because it makes me feel pretty and femme.

For cleaning this, use soap and water, a toy cleaner, or wipe it down with a bit of peroxide or a 10% bleach solution. While normally boiling glass or putting it in the dishwasher isn't an issue, you probably don't want to do that with this toy as it might jeopardize the crystal. Just be sure to put the toy back in the bag when you've cleaned it, so it doesn't get nicked or scratched!

Thank you so much Crystal Delights for sending me the Crystal Kiss Swirl Plug to review! It's the perfect holiday treat.

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Minor Musings on Butch/Femme/Andro Dynamics in MLP:FIM

I was chatting with a friend on Facebook about butch and femme, particularly about traits often ascribed to those genders. Butches, we said, often refer to themselves as honest and loyal.

Which of course led me to think about the queerness of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, in which the pegasus Rainbow Dash, a competitive jock type, is often considered the butch. It's partially just due to her rainbow hair, though her spiritedness, sportiness, and rashness add to the tomboy impression. What's her element? Oh yeah- loyalty. Funny, that.

But then, thinking further on this, the most high femme MLP would be Rarity, a fashion designer pony with immaculate curls who loves sparkly things. She's a little vain, sure, but she's also self employed, hardworking, and fabulous. She's the element of generosity- which I found even more interesting, as femmes are often characterized as caregivers.

And yet, Rainbow Dash and Rarity infrequently seem to spend much time with each other- there's only one episode in which they interact, and it's mostly Rarity being an attention whore instead of supporting Dash... until Rarity needs rescuing with the help of Dash's superspeediness. Which creates a sonic rainboom. It's all rather beautiful really.

Rainbow Dash is mostly paired off with Pinkie Pie, as far as I can tell. Pinkie is the element of laughter, and they do practical jokes together. I see Pinkie as femme, too, but she's the casual femme who enjoys a little roughhousing and baking. She's not afraid to get dirty. This is likely why I identify with her so much.

Applejack, meanwhile, might also be a bit butch, but the soft butch to Dash's harder butchness. She is, amusingly, the element of honesty... the other most often mentioned trait for butches on dating sites and such. She and Rarity sometime struggle to get on, as their ideas of fun and cleanliness are pretty much on opposite sides of the scale.

Fluttershy is the element of kindness, and she seems like a pretty shy pegasus. I would picture her in the queer world as being the kind who's happiest to stay home and help bake cookies for fundraisers, but won't go to protests. She'd also probably be involved with animal shelter work or something equally not attention-seeking but giving to the community.

Finally, the unicorn Twilight Sparkle. This is so obviously the academic activist pony, the one who debates on panels and blogs about how all -isms are entwined but separate threads. She's in her head all the time, the one you call when you're at a protest and everyone's about to get arrested. Twi would just know what to do. I kind of picture her as somewhat androgynous, personally- the slightly awkward hipster nerd girl.

I am so obviously tired. I don't know why I'm thinking about this. Here is a piece that is incredibly well put together about why MLP: FIM is show with some mad feminist props. Or just go watch the show.

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Some Excellent Gift Guides via Good Vibrations!

Good Vibrations has put together some fabulous gift guides for some last minute shopping: I'm going to give you a few highlights from each!

From the Green Sex Gift Guide:

This Romp plug is just gorgeous. It's made of wood, which means this will warm beautifully to the body, and the shape means it'll be super comfortable for long term use.

The wood is a sustainably harvested exotic hardwood, and it has a hypo-allergenic coating to make this non-porous and appropriate for use with any type of lubricant.

This would make a fabulous gift for the ecosexual in your life- some people hug trees, others do a little bit more, right? The shape, too, is subtle enough that you could easily display this as art and no one would be the wiser.

I LOVE Sir Richard condoms! Love them so much!

First of all, they're the best fitting condoms on the boy that we've ever found. Ever. They have a really nice trendy package, they're thin without breaking, and they come in multiple types- textured, extra large, and classic.

But even better- for each condom sold, Sir Richard donates a condom to a developing country! And even better than that- when they make a donation, they create an entirely new brand to ensure that they're seen as culturally relevant, which has such an amazing awareness of how important marketing can be for safer sex outreach.

Perfect for the activist in your life!

From the Sexy Gifts for the Gal Who Has It All Guide:

You probably recognize this little beauty from the review I did of it a couple weeks back with the boy- man, this is a sexy toy for mutual masturbation, and it's got so many uses to keep you interested! The boy loves it quite a bit, as you'll see if you check out the review.

It's the Lyla waterproof remote controlled vibrator, and it's one hell of a present for pretty much anyone in your life. Even my mother commented on how beautifully it was presented and how nice the design was!

I'd recommend this particularly for couples who enjoy a little mutual vibration, or to use on one partner who's tied up (as both parts vibrate), or possible for use out and about at a party...?

When I saw these delicate feather cuffs, I thought they were the prettiest things. not meant for serious bondage, of course, but I could imagine them being an accessory on a service submissive at a party, or as a sensuous method to keep your lover's hands bound while you kiss and lick their skin.

They're more like bracelets than like cuffs, so keep that in mind. That said, because they've so jewelry-like, that might make them feel like a fun flirty extra to your sex life, without feeling intimidated by all the leather and chains.

I'd recommend these to people who love costume parties, romantic sexual adventuring, and those who like to see high femme accessories on their submissive lovers.

From the Sexy Queer Gift Guide:

When I heard about Doing it Ourselves- the Trans Women Porn Project  I cheered. Felt like it was about time, and it had taken long enough!

It frustrates me sometimes that while transmen are being seen positively more and more often in queer porn, trans women are often still relegated to "chicks with dicks" or other horribly offensive themes. It's great to see some work being done to combat that tendency, even if they did have to do it themselves to make it happen.

This would be a great gift for anyone who enjoys good, homemade queer pornography.

Additionally, transmen of colour have been sadly lacking in material about transmasculinities- there are a lot of intersections relating to being a transman and a man of colour. Finding the guide "Freeing Ourselves: A guide to Health and Self Love for Brown Bois" therefore, was also incredibly pleasing!

While this book covers issues about transitioning, it also covers mental health, surviving sexual abuse, parenting, working out, tips for underage transmen, and whole body health advice. It's illustrated, as well.

This might be a good gift for anyone thinking about transmasculinities, whether it be personal exploration and discovery or to give a friend or loved one more information.

Happy Holidays, Good Vibes!

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December 17th: Party as Resistance

This weekend is December 17th, the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. It's an event that's incredibly close to my heart, and one that I try to participate in every year one way or another. It's terrifying, the way that sex workers are treated, here in the US and across the globe. Moving from the UK to the US really underlined that I *cannot afford* to not be an activist for sex worker rights. I am at risk, actively, as a woman, as a queer, and especially as a sex worker.

This year we've decided to have a jazz funeral instead of a completely somber affair. I am a firm believer in celebrations as a fierce form of fighting back, because it's EXHAUSTING to be debating and protesting all the time. Parties can be self care, they can be a place to have some fun while still acknowledging the issues going on, and god knows how valuable that time is!

Some news around violence and sex workers this week:

-Google is donating $11.5 million to "fight modern day slavery", including funding anti sex work organizations like Not For Sale and the Polaris Project. These anti sex work organizations are notorious for ignoring the voices of sex workers and infantalizing us by telling us what we need rather than asking us, additionally advocating for laws that make our lives LESS safe.

-Shannon Gilbert's body may have been found at last. Her disappearance triggered awareness that a serial killer was working in New York, picking off sex workers- 10 have been confirmed dead so far. Every time her name is mentioned, they call her "prostitute Shannon Gilbert".

-Students are considering sex work more than ever as a way to fund their studies, says the BBC- probably in part thanks to the increase in fees? Notably, the image accompanying the article is of a streetwalker, while I'll guess that most of these students are escorting as independents or with an agency. This tendency to illustrate prostitution with one image- women in skanky clothes on the street- is hugely problematic for a proper discussion of sex work.

-The French Parliament is working to ban clients purchasing the services of sex workers. It's based off the Swedish Model, a model that has not actually lessened demand for sex work, and in fact, it might well make it more dangerous, both for physical safety and STI-related. Yet the Swedish Model is often pointed to as a success.

-Closer to home, there are concerns that Berkeley High School students (girls, natch, no mention of boys) are engaging in underage prostitution. This comes after an article about an East Bay couple who have been charged with trafficking teenage girls into sex work.

I say to my friends a lot "please, seriously, support this, support sex worker rights, support me" and I think they kind of nod and smile and say "of course" without necessarily why it's so important. Any day, I could get arrested for being a sex worker. Any day, those cops could decide to abuse and rape me. My case won't hold up in court, in all likelihood, but I'll be terrorized in the meantime. In some states, I would be forced to register as a sex offender and have that on my ID. In other states, my name and address might be published in the paper, giving me no privacy. As a sex worker, if I was attacked, raped or murdered, my case would not be considered a priority.

I live with that EVERY DAY.

So if you can, please come to this event, or one local to you (London's is on the 15th).

It's important to me, it's important for sex workers, it's important for society, it's important for everyone who cares about human rights.

Join SWOP Bay and the Center for Sex and Culture for a *free* night of celebration as resistance in honor of December 17, the International Day to end Violence Against Sex Workers!

-Indulge in a moment of peace with the Om Shan Tea table.

-Watch performances by and about sex workers- speakers and performers will include Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, JDelicious, LadyMonster, and Mariko, with musical breaks by Siouxsie! Additionally, Tony's Circus will be entertaining us with a short skit!

-Dance to live music and the New Orleans style tunes cranked out by skilled DJ DJT.

-Enjoy free drinks and snacks provided by Solace SF- we will also have a free bar available serving speakeasy-style cocktails!

-And of course, remember the sex workers who were killed this year at our Day-of-the-Dead themed altar- you're welcome to create your own memorial to add.

Additionally, we will have three silent auction baskets filled with goodies from local companies such as Cleis Press, Vixen Creations, Femina Potens, Good Vibrations, Rodeoh, and Crashpad! Annie Sprinkle is also donating some goodies, and the money made will go directly back into activism to support sex workers.

There will be an ASL interpreter for the introduction to the event, and the space is mostly accessible for people with disabilities- however, the bathroom is not. If you have special accessibility needs, please contact us so we can accomodate you ♥

Come join us as we honor our dead and fight for the living!

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Review: the Eroscillator

the cockscomb and
the grapes

I've heard stories about how amazing the Eroscillator was through the grapevine, and I always found the colour and design to be striking- but was a little nervous about the price. Would it stand up to the hype?

The answer is- mostly, at least for me. I mean, if you've read this blog, you know I like stimulation that would make most people's clits shrink away in fear. If it's on the Richter scale, I love it.

It looks like some sort of steampunk electric toothbrush, with the bronze colouring and retrofuturistic styling. Most of the attachments are two in one, and they're all made of a flexible but firm silicone covered TPR. Additionally, rather than vibrate, this toy oscillates, offering a strong sensation but a different one from, say, the vibration of a hitachi. It plugs into the wall with 12' of cord to give you a lot of flexibility in positioning. However, I got the Eroscillator Plus, when I think my clitoris would actually prefer the Deluxe, which is 30% more powerful. I'm a girl who likes a powerful vibe.

the ball and cup

The Eroscillator Plus is interesting for me particularly because it came with a few little attachments- 3 actually, and then I got an extra one that looked like a marshmallow. I pretty much enjoy anything that allows me to have a sampler platter- sushi, smorgasbords, orgies, etc. And that's what really worked for me with this- if one attachment wasn't, dare I say, my speed, I could try another til I found one that worked beautifully... for foreplay at least.

And that was the thing for me. This was great for getting me worked up before, say, penetrative sex, but on its own, I don't think it was strong enough to send me over the edge. Rather than the deeply intense orgasms I was hoping for, I just went a little mad with wanting it to be just...a bit...more! If you press harder with this toy, it prevents the oscillation, so you can't really intensify it. As someone who gets hand cramps from pushing the Hitachi on my clit just.that.hard, it wasn't getting me there. I was disappointed, because I was hoping to finally have multiple clitoral orgasms. Normally one is exhausting and I toss the vibe across the room because I get just that sensitive after I cum.

the golden spoon

Let me introduce you to the attachments I got, all of which look very rigid but are actually fairly flexible:

1. Golden Spoon: Concave on one side to cup the clitoris, flat with eight little dots of texture on the other. This one was like of nice to surround my tiny clit.

2. Grapes and Cockscomb: The grapes are big and round texture, while the cockscomb is a longer ridged thing. The grapes didn't do a whole lot for me, but the cockscomb felt nice on my labia and one one side of my clit.

3. Ball and Cup: One side is rounded with three little nubs and the other is slightly concave. This one was a bit too big for my clit, so it didn't stimulate it much.

4. Marshmallow: Otherwise known as the Ultra Soft Finger Tip. The little marshmallow is made of medical silicone elastomer, and it's probably the neatest sensation- soft, squishy, no distracting textures. But sadly, I can't cum from someone's finger, either, so even though I enjoyed the feeling, it just didn't push me over the edge.

the marshmallow

All of the attachments are made of silicone coated TPR, are phtalates and PVC free, and snap on and off very easily. To clean them off afterwards, you can use soap and water, toy cleaner, or wiped down with a ten percent bleach solution. You might want to employ a small soft toothbrush to get any lube out of the little crannies. And of course, water based lubes only!

So I really wanted to like this, and I imagine I will have lovers who will adore the sensation. For me, I'm thinking that maybe the Deluxe would be more up my alley. If you're weaning yourself off a Hitachi, you might want to go for the stronger model. If you're going for a step up over a bullet or a rabbit, though? This would be an excellent step up.

Thank you Eroscillator for sending me one in exchange for an honest review!