Inspired by the inimitable Lori from Rarely Wears Lipstick, I thought about having a "top ten women" list. But then I thought "I want to include some guys", and then I thought "I also want to include genderqueers", so had to scrap it. And then ten didn't seem like enough. So WHATEVER, RULES, I'll gonna give you twenty(!) people and organizations I think deserve a little extra love this year, because they helped move me forward and upward.

They are in no particular order (seriously, I ran them through a random generator).

1. Sex Worker Open University
I love these guys so much. Seriously. I was crushed to not make it to their event! They're a dedicated group of sex workers and allies who create events/skillshares that work to show a better spectrum of sex work experience. Inspirational.


2. Momentum
This feminism and sexuality conference is something I'm really, really excited for. Run by the people who brought you the NYC Sex Bloggers calendar, they've gone out of their way to address the concerns of sex workers, including having a liaison just for that, which I think is amazing.


3. Vixen Creations
Every time I have needed to do a fundraiser or raise awareness about a topic, from consent to sex worker rights, Vixen has been happy to donate whatever I need. I'm very grateful to their support in helping me do the work I do!


4. Maggie Mayhem
This woman is epic. She's such a generous lovely person, and fiercely inspirational. It's really thanks to her that such a rocket got lit under my ass to talk about consent issues in the altsex community, and when I needed a place to stay, she let me in without even having met me. She's smart as hell, politically pervy, and a force of nature. I consider her a dear friend now. <3


5. Patrasha and the Bay Area Sex Workers Outreach Project
SWOP saved my life. I was really struggling being back in the Bay Area, not knowing what to do for work, how to meet people, what to do. SWOP structured me, gave me some focus and purpose. Patrasha got me to the meetings, so I owe her majorly. Community is invaluable.

6. Jiz Lee
Jiz is just amazing. I like their Karma Pervs work especially- porn for charity? Yes please! Never mind that they're an amazing performer who breaks the barriers of mainstream and queer porn, which I'm a big fan of.

7. Maxine Holloway at Feminist Porn Net
Maxine is someone I admired from afar. Then I got to know her a bit and realized that she's just an amazing person all around. I'd hate her for being smart, pretty and a lovely woman, but... she's so talented and sweet that I just can't. She does a lot of great work around feminist porn.

8. Lola Sparkle and Mutiny
Lola Sparkle works on a lot of awesome projects, including and especially Mutiny, which is like a mixture of an academic discussion and a cabaret. She's tireless about her work around sex worker rights, queer activism, and anti-racist efforts, among other things. Somehow she also manages time to be a great friend.

9. Katie at One Hot Crumpet
Ok, so this is a conflict of interest in a way, but then, it's my list! I kinda helped name "One Hot Crumpet", and Katie's been doing some great writing over there. She's on this list for multiple nights of late night support, being incredibly compassionate about nonmonogamy issues, and for being a lot of fun to top.

10. Alex Dymock
Really, I have a love affair with Alex's red hair and the way she twists it around her finger when she really gets into a topic with you. She's got a bit of a blog (and I hope there'll be more soon!) called Abject Intimacies, where she discusses and deconstructs sex, disgust and the law. Talking to her will explode your brain, in a good way.

11. Slim (@sfslim)
Slim is a guy who has privilege and tries his damnedest to use it to raise awareness. I have a lot of mad respect for him. He's a maker, a shaker, a traveler and a Burner. Plus he makes a really funny Cockney. Follow his twitter and marvel at all the cool links.


12. Angie
She's an artist, a brilliant cook, a breema specialist, and one of my best friends. She's an amazing woman who kicks life's ass, all the time. She's given me great advice on relationship stuff, baked cupcakes for Occupy Oakland, and is just always there to lend a hand and an ear. Even if she borrows all my costume stuff. ;)


13. BattyKitten
BattyKitten is just a fabulous woman who has the biggest heart. She's also an incredible costume designer- whenever I see her I'm soooo jealous of her stuff! She thankfully has an etsy store now so I can try to capture a bit of her glory.


14. Power Breakfasts
This is a secret group out in London who were a major support for me in so many ways. They were the first to show me that I could have a community where I felt totally supported and safe, and I didn't have to fight all the time. So much love.


15. Mission Control
So I'm totally a cult member. So what? I love the parties at Mission Control, love that they're striving to be better about representation and reflection, love that they listen when someone says "this person is an issue" and don't accuse you of starting drama or "making a fuss". It's another place I feel safe, and they're pretty few and far between.


16. Center for Sex and Culture
They've hosted the Safe/Word workshop, along with multiple other events that are sometimes challenging on the topics they cover. It's a community center that's really for the community. The CSC is one of those resources I consider myself quite lucky to have.


17. Labcoats and Lingerie
Fantastic blog run by two great writers. Every post on here makes me sit back and go "huh", which is awesome. Expect to be exposed to issues around kink, dis/ability, gender, nonmonogamy, and social issues. Yum yum yum.


18. Kink Academy
When I came across this site I was like "WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE". It's an online resource for workshops by various community presenters on everything under the sun, some of which are free. I'd subscribe, though, so I can have access to the more intermediate and advanced topics.


19. Jay Wiseman
Jay has been a big supporter of Maggie and I with our Safe/Ward and consent culture work- he helped me feel confident that I was doing good and important work, and that gave me the energy to keep it up. He's also been a good friend and really helpful with advice.


20. My Mom
My mom deserves special mention here. She has been massively supportive and understanding about issues that most parents couldn't even imagine talking to their kids about. I'm grateful to her for supporting my work, sending me links to job possibilities, and being a fabulous cheerleader, even if what I do is a bit... unusual. I love you, Mom.