It's SO hot in the South Bay right now. I mean, I've always thought of it as my personal hell, but DAMN. And it's only going to get worse!! Putting on makeup in the heat is like a maddening experiment in futility, because the sweat makes the makeup stick in weird ways and drip off in others, while having a fan on your face means you're fighting powder shadows spewing all over your face.

It took me an hour just to do my makeup. As a lazy femme, this is far too long. 

Anyway to make it up to myself I tried out some of my fandom inspired Shiro eyeshadows today, and I love them. They've got fantastic colour, work well with being layered to create a stronger look, and so, so sparkly! I had gotten the samplers of the Game of Thrones collection and the Hunger Games collection a while back, so decided to combine the two.

The two eyeshadows I wore today were Women's Weapons, styled after Cercei from GoT, and Remake, after Cinna from the Hunger Games. I apologize that I didn't get swatches (I always forget to do that!) so what you're seeing is the full look with some eyeliner on top, but these shadows are super pretty.

First I laid down a foundation of Remake, a pretty and bright gold colour with a hint of bronze. I didn't see the purple flecks it's reported to have, but that didn't really matter to me. It's a gorgeous colour and I liked that it's got some boldness without being overpowering. I've been into wearing golds/silvers on my lid and then a highlight colour and this is perfect for that. I gave it a pretty light hand, but imagine it'd make an amazing eyeliner if you wet the brush.

As my highlight colour I used Women's Weapons, a dark, rich red with some golden shimmer. It's lipsafe, and the first time I saw it was as a lipgloss (Shiro makes custom lipglosses from their lipsafe eyeshadows!) It took two layers to get it as dark as I liked, but was really pretty on (and the fact you have to layer it to get it dark means that it's easier to make it blend softly).

These two shadows played well together and the sample baggies I got offer plenty of product to play around with while you decide what you like. I have a lot of colours in both sets and I'll probably feature them again really soon, especially some of the brighter colours.

Shiro Cosmetics is run by two women out in Portland, OR, and it's vegan as well as cruelty-free, which always a plus. I definitely recommend these eyeshadows, though since they're powdered and not pressed, it may take some adjusting to figure out how to best apply them. I found tapping my brush on the edge of the baggie left me with plenty of product without having to do too much cleanup. Give them a try!

I can appreciate as much as the next person how awesome it would be to see more safer sex in porn. I think it's really hot to see condoms, dental dams, and gloves. I often prefer to use gloves myself, on and off set, because black gloves covered in lube is pretty fucking sexy.

I don't think it's hot to force them on porn stars, any more than I think it's hot to take away people's agency in any institutionalized fashion. And I really bristle at the government enforcing health and safety policies on set when society's done such a piss poor job creating any support structure for porn performers - a legal form of employment, yet we can be fired, have our children taken away, lose housing, lose our bank accounts, for having been in this profession with nary a word from them.

Weird how that doesn't make me want to invite the government into my porn sets to make sure we're "safe".

The legalese of the bill, mightily pushed by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, can be read here. I'm going to give you some reasons why I oppose it (main issues highlighted), and I'll link at the bottom to the best articles on the topic.

You do know that AB 1576 will mean the death of indie porn/queer porn/feminist porn in California. No more real life camming couples. No more TroubleFilms. No more Pink and White (they're already working out moving plans to Las Vegas, just in case). No more Clips4Sale. No more independently produced porn by and with people of colour, like Feelmore Entertainment, Soft Serve, or Pulpcore. Because if we shoot content, WE CAN GO TO JAIL.

Yeah, that's right. For shooting content of people having sex without spending $200+ on industry tests to sell, we could be arrested. This bill works to incriminate, not just producers, but performers themselves. Small adult businesses would be unable to afford to get started, never mind be sustainable and pay performers. Many companies would just leave California, granted, but independent businesses (often offering the only non-exploitative content that's open to people marginalized in porn- queer people, fat people, people of colour, people with disabilities) would be unlikely to survive the transition.

Does this sound like "performer safety" to you? I mean, I get it, AHF wants to help stop the spread of STIs (keep in mind, herpes and HPV are on the list, even though clinics will resist testing you for them in the first place). But our bodies are OUR business. It's in the best interest of porn performers to keep themselves healthy because we need a healthy body to work *at all*. and porn is certainly not the only industry where potential health consequences are present- Syd Blakovich points out that MMA and wrestling are not held by these standards, yet fluid exchange is possible. Are those performers tested for blood borne illness? Nope.

This isn't about fluid exchange, or STIs. It's about enforcing cultural morals and prejudices.

And condoms break. A LOT.

As for the concern about needing to hold onto performer medical records along with their 2257s indefinitely? Yes, I think this leaves a massive issue when it comes to privacy.  We have witnessed with shocking regularity how eager the public is to out and subsequently harass adult performers (Belle Knox, Porn WikiLeaks) and creating a database with even more intimate information that every producer and distributer has access to will lead to disaster. Have we so recently forgotten the AIM data leak? And frankly I imagine Porn WikiLeaks got their information (phone numbers, addresses, etc) from distributer 2257 records, which often includes a contract linking a performer's legal name with their work name, a form of ID often with an address, and contact information (as they lacked any medical records in their "profiles"). Are we going to further risk the lives and livelihoods of porn performers by making a database that anyone claiming to be a producer or distributer can access? That seems absurd.

Plus, it's possible to achieve what the AHF is seeking to achieve without a bill like this, as Pink and White points out:

Performer-safe porn is achievable. Our company sexual health policy forCrashPadSeries.com and other productions includes professional conduct, sobriety, communication, and informed decision-making. Education is key for sustainable sexual health. We provide resources such as information about subsidizing industry standard tests, sliding scale clinics who are respectful to marginalized patients, and which Sexually Transmitted Illnesses (STI’s) are known to be transmittable by specific sexual acts. We encourage participants to have a clear industry standard test within 14 days of the shoot date and provide safer sex barriers*. Because many couples we hire are in committed, long-term relationships, and with respect to their educated choices, performers have the right to waive tests and/or barrier use at their own risk. Additionally, we allow them to have sex in the ways they prefer, including lower risk sex acts such as mutual masturbation and stimulation over clothing, should they so choose. We also pay performers equally regardless of sex act, minimizing the influence of performing higher risk (and often higher paid) sexual acts. This policy was formed collaboratively by porn performers, sex educators, and medical professionals.

I agree with them on one thing: I would like to figure out a system where performers didn't have to pay out of pocket for their talent STI panels when required to provide them by an employer. I actually agree that at the very least subsidizing the test would be an incredible change- having to pay $200+ for the test and processing can put performers in a tricky situation, where they can be additionally manipulated into doing more than they want to, as they start filming at a deficit. I can imagine having to subsidize testing would also mean that marginalized performers would have an even harder time getting work than they do now- would the adult industry bother to hire plus size performers, or performers of colour, if they had to pay extra for each new face?

Do I think there should be health and safety laws in place when it comes to porn? Yes, actually, I do. But I think the people creating the bill *need* to be current porn performers, not just in mainstream porn but in indie porn. We need to be invited to the table to say what WE want and need to feel safe at work. This bill will homogenize the porn industry further, increasing the various issues it ALREADY has and wiping out the diversity that's changing the industry to embrace queer porn and feminist porn more and more each year. You can bet that'll all end in a heartbeat... especially if these industries move to Nevada, who is not particularly friendly to *any* sex.

Maybe this is when we unionize, in order to demonstrate that we CAN in fact govern our affairs, not AHF, not porn producers, but performers ourselves. After all, it's our lives, and livelihoods, on the line. We deserve a voice.

And I welcome AHF to fight for our legal right to not be fired from other employment or discriminated against for having been in porn. That'd actually be useful and reduce the likelihood of someone turning to risky porn for survival.

Here's things you can do.

Further Reading:

AB 1576: The Price of Cum in California

5 Things The State Of California Can Do For Sex Workers That Aren’t AB1576

Keep Queer Porn Legal in California! An open letter from Pink & White Productions.

Surprise! Hall Amends AB 1576 AGAIN!

AB 1576: The Issues

What the Aids Healthcare Foundation has to say 

I keep coming across posts that wax poetic about the good old days before we were all staring at computer screens. They’re mostly people my age, maybe a bit older, so we’re not that far apart in our experiences. I had dialup via one of those free AOL CD-ROMS (remember those?) and they didn’t, but only barely. Yet somehow there’s this belief that social media has led all of us down a path to “forever alone” hell that we’ll never recover from or something. I’m not entirely sure, as it’s pretty infrequently these arguments actually point to data, but rather appeal to emotions. If they point to any data at all, it’s typically that recent study that concluded using Facebook made you feel lonelier and more depressed.

I have so many massive issues with this line of thinking. For example, they often forget to point out that the behaviour involved is browsing social media, rather than actively engaging in it. I’d be curious if kids who went to camp but weren’t picked for teams would be more depressed and feel more lonely watching other kids having fun that they weren’t involved in than the kids interacting. But that’s not because camp is inherently alienating. Correlation is not causation, right? Additionally there’s also a study that suggests people who use Facebook feel happier and more involved. They participate more in political discussions, feel more social trust and more connected. Sounds, then, like this is a tool, not good or evil in nature, but with the potential to be one, the other, or even both.

But sure. Ok. Let’s talk about the “good old days” before smartphones, shall we?

First, I was not a child who played outside all the time. I much preferred reading indoors, playing puzzle games, crafting, writing stories. Outside was filled with uncomfortable social interactions, a neighbor's creepy dad, getting hollered at when I was on my bike. The idea that going outside and playing was something everyone did and should do ignores that not everyone wants to do that, or can. Never mind that there are ways in which kids use the internet to find stuff to do - geocaching, for example, or meetups, or gaming groups. “Using social media” doesn’t mean “completely ignoring the outside world” for most of the people who use it, and those for whom that would ring true, they very likely wouldn’t be interacting with the outside world in *any* way without the safety of the written online word.

The idea that people don't share emotions online is foreign to me. Access to the internet absolutely soothed me during incredibly troubled times. It's saved my life on more than one occasion. Twitter saved my life a year and a half ago, and it's saved other people I know. I'm socially anxious, phone calls feel too invasive, but a call for help online can feel safe and has helped me put one foot in front of the other. It was through the internet that I met two of the lovers who changed my life... one who got me to fall in love with the UK (and stop cutting myself), and one who inspired me to move to California. I got a plane ticket through someone I knew on Livejournal, and it saved me from myself.

It’s not just networks of support during hard times, either. I was encouraged to write professionally and openly through Livejournal and DarkPoetry. I met folks through Tribe, Gumtree, Couchsurfing, in any country I went to, and we became instant friends. I founded Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society through the internet. I documented my daily life and can now look back and smile, remembering experiences that seem both very small and yet make me wistful. I can read my blogs and see how my mental health has improved, how my confidence grew, how my expectations of lovers got healthier. I was able to use social media to ask questions of people, not just friends, but people all around the world of various generations, including “is this abusive” and “should I walk away”. Without the anonymity of the internet and the hivemind of social platforms, I might still be stuck in that relationship, unsure who to speak to or what to do.

Tell me again how social media isolates people.

The idea that life is passing you by because of technology is ridiculous. Sure, yeah, if you don't use it as a tool, and you don't know yourself, you can get lost in it. Same with watching television, or movies, or books. Can you imagine if this was made about reading books? "Look up from that novel, you're missing out"? It sounds kind of stupid. Thanks to this technology I can now find new restaurants to try, explore beaches I didn’t know about, give money to artists so they can survive and make their art, get money myself for my art. I can afford to pay my rent through the content I create thanks to platforms like Patreon. Thank Ada I don't have to pitch my articles to print newspapers, who so often err on the side of the moderate voice.

Never mind what social media has done for my personal education and compassion. I learn so much through hashtags on Twitter by sitting and listening to the experiences of people more marginalized than me, and I feel solidarity for people who are marginalized in the ways that I am. I hear about protests in other countries, hear about police violence in my own, join my voice to others and yes, social media makes a difference. I’m not going to apologize for preferring to make people aware of issues online through my writing, with the reach that receives, than being tear gassed by cops in the streets. And I will continue to use my platforms to signal boost those who are in the streets, so they get justice.

It's a popular thing to do, blame the internet for distracting us from the lives we think we'd be living if we left the screens behind. There always seems to be some story popping up about leaving social media for a day, a month or a year, in search of some truer self we expect is on the other side. Like our medical system, these measures tend to try to solve underlying problems by dealing with the symptoms rather than the root cause. Paul Miller is one such person who discovered through a year of being offline that his issues weren't caused by Facebook after all:

"What I do know is that I can't blame the internet, or any circumstance, for my problems. I have many of the same priorities I had before I left the internet: family, friends, work, learning. And I have no guarantee I'll stick with them when I get back on the internet — I probably won't, to be honest. But at least I'll know that it's not the internet's fault. I'll know who's responsible, and who can fix it."
-I’m still here: back online after a year without the internet, by Paul Miller for The Verve

Maybe it's not actually the internet, or social media, that's to blame for our boredom, our lack of productivity, or our loneliness... but ourselves. We make time for what we care about, after all. What are you spending time on, offline or on?

To Gary Turk, creator of "Look Up", in particular? You're from the UK. People *never* talk on trains, not just cause of social media, but because it's not British to draw attention to yourself. Why am I, as an American, reminding you of that? Before smartphones they had newspapers. They still have newspapers, in fact. Though if you miss that social interaction, feel free to visit the Bay Area, where people will talk to you whether or not you're trying to ignore their yelling, or hitting on you, or sharing their life story. Maybe you, too, will then find yourself reaching for something simple and brainless like Flappy Bird to pass the time. I won’t blame you for it.

Note: I talk in here about HIV/AIDs as it pertains mostly to white gay men, and white straight people. There's a lot more to be said on the topic of STIs pertaining to people of colour, particularly African Americans and people in Africa itself. Rather than speak to that, I want to link to people of colour who have written on these topics and I encourage you to use these articles as a starting place, as well as linking me to more resources in the comments:

STDs: the Stakes are High for Black Women

How Black Denial is Creating an STD Epidemic

CDC: Incidence of STDs High Among African Americans

So I just read VICE's article on Treasure Island Media and their film, "Viral Loads", which eroticizes the threat of HIV transmission through the use of words like "POZ cum". I read the copy for the film, which I noted never explicitly mentions HIV ("Mansex is a virus", they say. "We shoot viral loads every time. Our jizz ain’t for making babies"), though one of the main performers, Blue Bailey, is open about his HIV+ status. The VICE article is written from the perspective of a straight man who is bewildered that anyone would make porn, bareback porn, flirting with "bug catching" fantasies. The comments are especially telling, where mostly straight men are saying "how could you possibly do something like this?!?"

Oh yeah? Is it so out there?

I doubt every one of these guys knows their herpes and HPV status. When getting an STI test you have to specifically ask for it your options to get tested. Never mind that there's not really any screening test for HPV for men as far as I know- the infection is diagnosed only by visual inspection or biopsy of genital warts, and not everyone who is a carrier has visible symptoms. And no *good* screening test exists for herpes- a doctor may take a tissue scraping or culture of blisters or early ulcers, if you have them, for examination in a laboratory. But a negative test doesn't rule out herpes as a cause for genital ulcerations. Even a blood test also may help detect a herpes infection, but results aren't always conclusive. Getting a standard panel done doesn't cover either of those.  And I want to ask- do you know all of your partners statuses? Their STI history? The history of their partners? Of course HPV and herpes aren't prevented by condom use, and some strains of HPV increase the likelihood of cervical cancer in women while men are unaffected. Never mind trichomoniasis!

Yet despite all this I've met a lot of straight men (and some women) who believe that unprotected sex just feels "better". It's more intimate, they tell me, it's sexier, it's more impulsive. I mean, their partner might become pregnant, or STIs might be exchanged, but that doesn't stop the eroticism of condomless sex. That sounds to me like knowing something is potentially dangerous, yet being turned on by it anyway. I've done it before, weighing the unlikelihood of getting pregnant while on my period with the stress of the possibility I still might and my desire to have condomless sex anyway. Are we just shocked at this when gay men do it?

This might be an unpopular opinion, but using a condom doesn't mean there's no risk in sex , or in porn. Condoms break, especially if using them for extended periods or without enough lubrication. Gay companies that only film with condoms mostly do not test models (or even ask about their HIV status at all) during the casting and hiring process. Things can go wrong. People have slipped through the cracks, as has been recently proven with multiple HIV cases within the mainstream straight porn industry. NEVER MIND that adult performers are often only DEFINITELY tested for HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. You have to opt in (and pay extra) for another test panel covering hepatitis B, hepatitis C and syphilis. I work for a company where I have the power to decide what sort of sex acts I want to do and what safer sex precautions to use- I'd like to see condoms be an encouraged, unpenalized choice, rather than forced to be used or not used.

Then there's the question of who performs in this sort of porn, and who buys it. That doesn't surprise me in any way, that there's a market. If anything this belief that it's weird to eroticize things that are dangerous is what's strange to me. Have most people not read books of sexual fantasies, like "Women on Top"? We eroticize a lot of potentially dangerous things, including things we may never want to do ourselves- gangbangs, kinky sex, one night stands, rape fantasies, bareback sex itself (like most heterosexual porn is). I'm turned on by the idea of creampies, for fuck's sake! It's not exactly a "safe" fantasy, and it's certainly not a rare one. And it's not a financially rewarded one, either- bareback gay porn either pays equal to or less than condom-using porn, and is usually not populated by porn performers, but people living out their fantasy. Says Paul Morris of Treasure Island Media:

When people come to me, we have one of the most extensive interview processes of any company in porn. We get to know not just what their health status is—whatever “health” means—but we find out who they are. We talk with them about what books they’re reading. “Why are you coming to do porn?” We encourage people not to do it if there’s the slightest indication this isn’t something they really want or should do. Then they tell us everything. We put them into situations they want to be put into. Everyone who’s in one of our pieces is doing exactly what they most want to be doing.

Am I crazy for thinking that sounds like a potentially responsible and ethical way to create porn? Something mainstream companies could learn from?

It's not just about getting off, either. "While I know not all HIV-positive people like or approve of bareback porn, there are some for whom it is the only instance of media, gay or otherwise, portraying HIV-positive guys as not depressed or dying," points out Owen Hawk, HIV+ porn performer. "I can’t think of any media realm other than bareback porn where HIV-positive men are considered sexy, strong, powerful, and active. For this audience, the message that bareback porn sends is an empowering one."

I think that's a point worth making. In my bouts of slutty behaviour, I've had a lot of sex with a lot of people. I personally get tested every 6-9 months, depending on how much I'm hooking up. I've been vaccinated against HPV while I was in the United Kingdom, and I get my blood tested for herpes when I go. I've had maybe 5 people tell me that they have one of these two STIs, considered so common by the CDC that clinics will often dissuade you from being tested as they assume you already have it. Statistically, that's pretty unlikely that only those 5 carried herpes or HPV. Yet the people who told me were terrified of being honest about it, because they were afraid I'd recoil in horror. Instead, we adjusted some of our safer sex practices and had a great time. As long as we create this idea that people with STIs are terrifying untouchables who shouldn't be sexual, we're creating a culture of silence and shame that will perpetuate the problem.

As a culture, we used to live in terror of syphilis, because it rotted people's faces and drove them into madness. We didn't understand it, so we labeled it a sin disease, punishment for having sex. Some doctors refused to treat it because it was considered divine retribution. We even named it the "______ pox/disease", with the blank being filled with whomever our enemy was so we could blame them for it:

Syphilis had a variety of names, usually people naming it after an enemy or a country they thought responsible for it.  The French called it the ‘Neapolitan disease’, the ‘disease of Naples’  or the ‘Spanish disease’, and later grande verole or grosse verole, the ‘ great pox’, the English and Italians called it the ‘French disease’, the ‘Gallic disease’, the ‘morbus Gallicus’, or the ‘French pox’, the Germans called it the ‘French evil’, the Scottish called it the ‘grandgore‘, the Russians called it the ‘Polish disease’, the Polish and the Persians called it the ‘Turkish disease’, the Turkish called it the ‘Christian disease’, the Tahitians called it the ‘British disease’, in India it was called the ‘Portuguese disease’, in Japan it was called the ‘Chinese pox’, and there are some references to it being called the ‘Persian fire’.

Now syphilis is curable with an over the counter drug (as long as you have access to it, and testing). We don't live in terror of getting syphilis anymore as a society, though rates are rising and the CDC is officially recommending that people have monogamous relationships , specifically with STI negative partners. I wouldn't be surprised if something similar happens with HIV.

If people are making decisions based on informed consent I don't see that trying to forbid or shame them is the way forward. Do I think an HIV+ performer can decide that he's comfortable having cum dumped in his ass? Yeah, I do. I think it's infantilizing to say he can't make that choice, especially when everyone on set is aware of his status.

And I think the way we try to teach people about STIs, through terror, suggesting people with HIV are like giant fucking scorpions, is doing far more to hurt STI prevention than some bareback porn.

It's been a reaaaaally long time since I tried to write a poem. And honestly? Rhyming isn't my strong suit. But I wanted to write a response in the same style as the original work to critique it. 

This is a dedication to the Gary Turks of the world, who think social media is the bane of our existence.

***

I get it- you feel like you’re being controlled
and scolding social media is viral gold.

It’s easier to blame Facebook or Twitter
than admit that actually, we’re just kinda bitter.
That FOMO is hard to accept and critique -
maybe we feel like we miss the mystique?
Those days when we didn’t get party invites...
at least we didn’t know, so that was all right!
I can’t really say I felt less lonely when
I couldn’t email, just use paper and pen.

For some, each platform can act as a tool
(though reading the comments is usually cruel)
and it helps us feel connected and sane
when going through things that put us through strain.
Things we don’t necessarily discuss with our peers
because we’ve learned to avoid the stares and the sneers.

Imagine the queer kids, feeling alone
for whom the internet acts like a first home.
Imagine the folks with disabilities
This access means everything- for them? It *frees*.
Imagine being anxious and introverted -
Would you rather make them feel lonely, instead?

Seeing the past through that rose coloured glass
Might make you go viral, but also? An ass.

Not everyone feels safe hanging around
other humans. For some, it’s like being drowned
in expectations, rules that we cannot perform
and are punished for if we do not conform.
And that’s not suddenly because of the Web
Or because of some push to be a celeb
but because life is mean to anyone who
doesn’t fit some ideals. Many fall through
the cracks. And social media can be
where we feel accepted. People like me.

I grew up depressed, isolated, alone -
I felt sudden terror answering the phone.
If it wasn’t for Livejournal, Twitter and Tribe
It’s very possible that I would’ve died.
When it was late and I was holding the knife -
reaching out to my online friends saved my life.
It was through chatting via my laptop screen
I finally felt loved, cared about, and *seen*.
I realized I wasn’t unique in my pain
That I could be welcomed, no need to explain.
So if you are happier offline than on
Go ahead! Shut your laptop, paragon!
But don’t you dare guilt other people’s choices
and silence so many marginalized voices
by claiming social media is to blame.
If you feel isolated, ignored and distant
I get why you might feel rather resistant.
But maybe it’s more about how YOU use it
than pointing the finger claiming others abuse it.
My feeds are filled with honesty and emotion
which might explain why I’m expressing devotion.

Sure. We all make time for what we care about
Sometimes it’s with people and sometimes, without.
But it’s weird to insist others spend their time
Doing whatever it is that WE find sublime.

Some of us geeks like to argue on forums,
Many other prefer just to ignore them.
Some of us meet our lovers, others find work
Some deconstruct racism when Miley twerks.
We talk about feminism, talk about news
We reminisce games where you’re eaten by Grues.
Some people learn new stuff, while some others teach
I’m delighted this information has such reach!
We like to share art, photos of our kid
Sure, maybe we overshare what we just did.

But I’d rather get 10,000 photos of meals
than alienate someone who has lots of feels.
If social media helps people express
their need for help when they’re under duress?
It’s worth it. Connections come from all around
Both online and off it. They *can* be found.

So go ahead, and get rid of your smartphone.
I’m glad to have records of how far I’ve grown
and to stay in touch with friends all round the Earth.
We all get to decide what these things are worth.

I’ll forgive you your worries, your words and your frets
I’ll tell you this though - bet I won’t have regrets!

But let’s check on each other in several years’ time
Tell me about your life - and I’ll tell you mine.
Let’s test if pushing away technology
makes your life richer, or not - wait and see!

I'm always looking for the best and the brightest in the sex toy world, and with spring turning into summer, what could be more refreshing than a vibrator shaped like a lemon? You may know how much I enjoy the "Lemon Stealing Whores" porn intro, and this just settles comfortably into the surreal world in which I like to have sex.

The Limon from Minna Life sounded really exciting, especially with the squeezable technology used to increase the power of the vibrations. It's kind of like a vibrating water balloon in terms of how it feels under your fingers, which is kind of weird and nice all at the same time. Apparently that air pocket giving that effect can deflate if you change altitude, which is easily fixable by using something like a ball point pen and pressing it into the porn between the charging contacts to re-inflate it. It charges via USB, so it makes it a practical toy for travel (especially as other people are unlikely to know what it is by looking at it!)

It's also really cool to see sex toys being crowdfunded successfully, particularly considering how many payment processors are shutting down around anything sexual. The fact this was a locally made toy definitely made it more appealing to my localavore self (you can see the Limon above nestled in our veg box!), never mind that is was designed by sex geeks from Stanford. The vibration technology promises and, I feel, delivers a very different type of sensation that they call "Rumble Motor Technology". It's made with silicone and is fully waterproof, making cleaning and sterilizing a breeze.

Limon is marketed as a vibrator for couples, and I can see that. It's softer than many vibrators, so having it between two bodies is easier than with a bullet vibrator. I've had a bullet vibe bang against my clit during sex before and it was pretty awful!  This is easy to hold onto, and I think might be useful for people who have restricted mobility in their hands, especially as you don't have to squeeze the toy too hard to get the vibration to adjust. I have yet to test out how slippery it gets when your hands are covered with lube and fluids, however!

On that note, let's talk about how you program this thing. Because yes, friend, you can program a vibration pattern into this vibrator while it's on. Sadly it doesn't save your pattern once you turn it off - you can lock it in while using the toy, but turn it off and it's gone. You have one button. Press it once and it'll pulse one, two or three times. One pulse means it needs to be charged badly, two means it's got acceptable charge, and three means it's fully charged and ready to go.

Once it's on, you're in the "playground" mode where you can squeeze the Limon as much or as little as you like but it won’t save any patterns. If you squeeze it gently, it'll be faint, and the harder you press, the stronger the vibrations get. If you want to program patterns, press the button again, looking for a circular arrow to light up, signaling programable mode. Then squeeze the toy however your bits like it, wait a beat, and experience your pattern on a loop until you squeeze it again. So when you find a pattern that works for you? Press the power button a third time, see a lock light up, and that pattern will repeat until you're done.

All in all, the vibration wasn't quite strong enough to make me orgasm, but this toy was genius as a foreplay tool. I'm planning to use it with a male lover, because I think it offers a really nice set of vibrations. And when I do my localavore veg box porn, you can bet this is going to show up in it! You can get it in magenta or teal, depending on your preference. And it has the USB cord already making it easy to get started immediately. I consider this Limon sweet!

Thanks Minna Life for sending me one of your adorable Limons to review honestly! Does this look like a toy you'd try out? Why or why not? Have you tried their other vibe, the Ola? Comment below!

I'm a glitter fiend. If you were seeking out a way to summon me, you would probably draw a pentagram on the ground in multicloured glitter. It's probably good that I'm in a relationship with a femme guy who loves metallics as much as I do and doesn't get too upset when his beard/chest/pubes are filled with glittery accessories.

So as I was looking for indie cosmetics to review, of course I gravitated towards Lit Cosmetics, which specializes in multiple sizes and many shades of glitter. So many colours and sizes! It's heaven to browse all the various shades of blue and green. I mean, I've been using chapstick and craft glitter, which gets in my eyes, sure, but looks great. Lit Cosmetics offers not only glitter that won't be painful to use, but a specially formulated adhesive that turns the glitter into a super easy to manipulate and use product.

I'm not particularly graceful, but I found the process of dipping the round brush into the adhesive, then into the glitter, then lining my eyes with it to be a breeze. I only had to do it once, and it stuck on beautifully. Most of the examples I've seen involve the eyes and face with the glitter, but I lined my lips with it for some photos and really loved how it looks. I also appreciated that the glitter base helps keep the rest of the eyeshadow I used looking fresh and solid for hours.

Because I'm doing a giveaway of a Lit Kit with the Clearly Liquid Glitter Base and the "Rich & Famous" glitter in size 2, I wanted to wear it myself in these photos to show how it looks in two different applications. I used "Rich & Famous" size 2 solid over my lid, and "Hunny Bunny" in a size 2 shimmer under my eye. I also used "Rich & Famous" around my lips as a lipliner, with a gloss from Fierce Magenta as a filler.

Shimmers are translucent, metallics are extra shiny, solids are solid colour. Electrics, which I want to get next, will glow under black light! As for the sizes, 1 is the smallest, and 4 s the largest (like a disco ball). The larger the glitter the more prominent the look. I'd likely wear size 2 on a day to day basis, and pull out 3 or 4 for a party setting. They come in cute stackable containers with extra lids in case you don't want to stack them. Apparently one small Clearly Liquid jar will likely last 4-6 months, while the glitter will last 2-5 years depending on how often you use it, if you spill it, etc. A little goes a VERY long way, especially as you aren't wasting glitter by having it spill all over your cheeks.

It's recommended to really make these glitters shine that you wear a dark shadow under dark colours, and white under light colours so they really pop. You can apply them as a full eyeshadow (and I had no issues switching colours, personally) or as just a liner, depending on the look you're going for. It's made in Canada by a woman who loves glitter a whole lot, and I'm glad for it. This is going to be a regular item for me, I can already tell.

I bought a couple of glitters to try and Lit Cosmetics was kind enough to not only send me more colours and sizes to check out, but also a little giveaway item to gift to a lucky winner! Check back on Sunday for entry details - patrons get a sneak peek and extra entries, if you want to up your chances! I have two different lighting styles on here, warm and cool, so you can get a feel for how they look under both circumstances. Highly recommended!

Lit Cosmetics can be found at Sephora or bought online for a lot more variety.

Contest is over! Congrats Katie!

"In a sluggish economy, never, ever f*** with another man's livelihood." - Risky Business As a sex worker, I hear "why don't you leave the industry?" all the time. We all do -- it's one of the big questions I see Duke student and porn performer Belle Knox fighting off too. I've been in the industry for about 10 years, so I've had a lot of time to think about the answer. For me, becoming a sex worker was part survival and part career path, as I had been working three jobs at a mall for very little and knew it wasn't sustainable. I brainstormed how I'd transition from one aspect to another, taught myself marketing strategies, learned how to best utilize social media in order to connect to clients. I expected that I would stay in the industry for quite a while, either as a worker or an organizer. I enjoyed my work (most of the time), speaking publicly and without shame about it at universities, on television, online and over the airwaves. As an Internet-savvy professional, I blogged regularly, used online advertising and branded myself on social media. All publicity is good publicity, right? And I could always write about my experiences. I discovered that leaving the sex industry was far easier said than done. I spoke to faith-based organization Solace SF about options. I had encountered them multiple times and they seemed friendly and not too pushy. Many groups that focus on the intersection of sex work and religion (or sex work and radical feminism) talk constantly about how much they want women to leave the industry, how it drains us, how it mistreats us. I didn't feel mistreated myself, but I was exhausted and ready to leave the adult industry behind. Solace promised to help me with my resume, get me interview clothes, advise me on applying for jobs when my primary work was adult in nature. Ten years is a long time to have a gap in a resume, after all! A representative from Solace told me that I had two choices -- work as a freelancer, continue to hustle and don't worry about my history... or say goodbye to Kitty Stryker, delete everything related to that name and try to wipe the slate clean. I sat with that for a while, turning over in my head how it would feel to delete a persona I spent 10 years creating, honing, perfecting. I would lose all my contacts, lose all the work I had done in media. I couldn't tell prospective employers about speaking at South By Southwest if I distanced myself from this persona, because I had done a presentation on sex work under that identity. I considered it, but ultimately decided I'd rather take my chances and get whatever help I could without destroying my past like I was ashamed of it. But the help never came, and I discovered that Solace had fallen apart with rumors of fraud following in its wake. I can't say I was altogether surprised. All I had gotten in the end were cupcakes and the very occasional gift card for Safeway, nothing to help me move forward and start a new job. And people wonder why sex workers don't trust the organizations available to "help" them. Even if that help had panned out I was (and still am) somewhat conflicted about whether or not I want to leave the sex industry. I know I don't have the energy for it anymore on the one hand, but I don't know if I can get started anywhere else. I was outed under my legal name for a piece I wrote about Porn Wikileaks, so it's not easy but is possible to link my legal name to my adult one. If an employer Googles my name, they'll find my "sordid past" and then will it matter how many Twitter followers I have or the success of my blog? Even if hired, I could be subsequently fired for having been in porn or written about dildos. What do you do when your brand is adult-based and all your best connections, writing and media appearances relate not to SEO, but SEX? I'm a fighter, though, so I decided to try working independently, first as a marketing manager (sex work teaches you a lot about social media and branding) and later as a writer. I found Patreon, a service that allowed content creators to gather patrons who could pay for your art on a subscription basis. Knowing that crowdsourcing was unfriendly to sex workers and needing a sustainable option, I started up a Patreon account, making sure the content I posted followed their guidelines. It encouraged me to work harder on my writing, and was, for the first time, a viable alternative to sex work. It was great for the first few months. I funded a business trip to the upcoming Feminist Porn Conference in part because of the financial assistance Patreon provided, where I'd be speaking on porn and privacy. Then I got an email from Patreon, saying that the payment processor PayPal had threatened to shut down all integration with their site because of "adult content." The email stated, "as you can imagine, this would be detrimental to creators -- hundreds of thousands of dollars were to be "frozen" unless we flagged all adult content pages, made them private and removed Paypal functionality from their individual pages... I'm so sorry that we had to do this without warning you first, but it was SUCH an emergency! We simply had to take action to avoid a situation where creators would lose hundreds of thousands of dollars of legitimate pledges." Patreon emailed all of our patrons to warn them, and suggested we also email them to ensure payments went through as usual at the beginning of April. They worked around the clock responding to my panicked emails. While Patreon was open to artists creating work that was adult in nature, their hands were tied. And not in a kinky way. This was not my first clash with PayPal or similar service WePay, of course. As I've discovered by seeking out stories on Twitter and Facebook, if you have anything to do with sex in some capacity and have tried to use an online payment processor, you'll have had a run-in with one of them freezing your account, returning donations in best case scenarios and just taking it in the worst cases. As the organizer of an event with burlesque, I once had my account frozen for a week, losing vital time to purchase supplies, and I had to submit via email all sorts of information to "prove" I was legit (meaning, of course, not a sex worker). Companies like PayPal or WePay will Google people they deem suspicious and then take the money out of their accounts if they decide it's "adult" without ever clearly defining what that means. Like obscenity, the rule seems to be "we'll know it when we see it". Of course, it's not just me. Andre Shakti found herself in similarly hot water in March for crowdfunding travel costs using Fundly to make it to the Feminist Porn Awards and Conference. While her offered perks followed Fundly's terms, WePay, the payment processor they used, shut down her account because they were "adult," causing the Sex Workers Outreach Project to write to Fundly encouraging them to stop using WePay and actually do what their tagline says... "raise money for anything". Or there was Maggie Mayhem, a porn performer, tried to raise money for going to Haiti to do relief work using PayPal, and, despite the fact her fundraising had nothing to do with porn, she found her account shut down. Michelle Austin, another porn performer, had accounts at both companies shut down at different times -- WePay did because her company was "linked to an adult company" (which can mean anything from linking to an adult company to having adult content show up in a Google search). PayPal shut down Michelle's donations simply because there was a porn shoot on her personal blog. Makes me wonder how many Tumblrs asking for donations for medical care get their accounts shut down for that reason? PayPal and WePay are not required to give answers as to why they freeze or shut down accounts, but often all that's required is the history (or even the suspicion) of sex work. It's not just them, either -- Amazon Payments joined the list when Polly Whittaker raised money to fund publishing her memoirs of her experiences with sex culture, but when it came to cash out, Amazon decided her memoirs were too sexual in nature. Google Wallet has had similar issues for those looking to receive payment for handmade BDSM toys. And Square has banned Courtney Trouble for life, even though they were using it for non-porn purposes, because their Google search uncovered that Courtney is a porn producer. Why do these payment processors have such a strict policy on adult performers, so strict that having worked in the industry means you could find yourself banned for life? I looked into this somewhat and found many such companies claiming that statistically, adult companies were more likely to be high risk for chargebacks (when someone buys the content, often downloading what they want and then calling the company to report fraud). However, I couldn't actually find these supposed statistics. Instead, I discovered indie porn site owners saying their chargeback percentages were low enough to not warrant calling them high risk, and arguments about what constituted pornography (considered a "risky" investment) versus adult content (not necessarily deemed "risky" but a gray enough area to make enforcement completely arbitrary). I also discovered other types of business often considered at risk for chargebacks (travel, computer services, sorcery!). I spoke to someone who works in PayPal's fraud department, and he said that 90% of the cases he had deal with digital goods, as people could get the item or service immediately, and there's no traceable trail. But it's adult companies that get this treatment, time and time again. These businesses aren't targeted the way adult performers are. While current indie developers have had their accounts frozen, I haven't seen a situation yet where someone *used* to be an indie dev or had links in their sidebar for games they had made, and because of that they got their account shut down when they tried to crowdfund going to SXSW. Also interesting is that being associated in any way with adult services or performers does not seem to be enforced across the board. Multiple erotica sites dealt with PayPal telling them that "morally objectionable" content wasn't allowed... including books with BDSM content (they later sort of backed down from this, though it still seems to be case by case). Vicki Gallas, a former escort, was banned from using PayPal to process payments for her memoirs, because they included sex work. Seattle Erotic Art Festival had their account frozen even though they only used the service to process fine art submission fees. The SF Citadel, a BDSM community space in San Francisco, had no issues with WePay, though, though they've since stopped using it out of solidarity. SWAAY, a sex worker community project, accepts PayPal. It seems like what counts as "adult" shifts drastically and is impossible to anticipate. Particularly interesting is that PayPal really got its start, not only through online auctions like eBay, but adult websites and online gambling. Both are things they now refuse to have anything to do with, even though porn sites and online casinos helped rocket PayPal to the popularity it enjoys today. In 2003, citing high fraud rates, Paypal stopped accepting adult transactions or gambling ones, offering instead to monitor user transactions and report potentially illegal activities. Our economy is pretty terrible right now. When jobs are difficult to come by, people are starting small businesses out of their home, selling stuff on eBay, making mobile apps, crafting things to sell on Etsy. And, of course, more and more people are trying their hand at something in the adult entertainment arena to help them get by - perhaps camming here, maybe doing a porn there, possibly stripping or selling their dirty socks. College is expensive. Rent is rising in many major cities. Sex work can be and is a ticket out of debt for many people. Yet we live in a culture that brands us permanently for dipping a toe into sex work while simultaneously insisting sex workers should leave the industry and do other work. The subsequent shaming becomes a double edged weapon. With PayPal and WePay controlling most of the online payment market, banning sex workers past or present from using either can mean that any other sort of small business idea is made impossible for us. I may want to stop doing sex work and write, instead, but if I can't process online payments because of having an adult history, and companies won't hire me because they can Google my sex work history, I'm stuck in the business whether I like it or not. Interestingly, as faith in PayPal and WePay falls, companies like Verotel are moving forward, accepting Bitcoin as a possible alternative form of online payment for adult companies. Perhaps Bitcoin and other similar payment systems outside of the Visa/Mastercard monopoly is the way of the future for those on the margins when companies like PayPal or WePay can steal unfettered from marginalized populations. But until we can use Bitcoin to pay rent and buy groceries? The only payment sex workers can count on is the anonymity of cash in hand, and as long as that's true, that scarlet letter makes it hard to leave the industry. When payment processors can dictate morality, that's a scary road to walk on. I've felt sharply the need for society to stand with me, with all sex workers, to recognize that sex work is, in fact, work... and that staying employed during hard times is a sign of our resourcefulness in the face of a hostile world. Sex workers learn how to use tech as a survival strategy - we're the CEO, CFO, marketing director, PR department, and human resources all on our own. I don't know a company alive that couldn't use that skillset in an unsteady economy. In case you were wondering, my Patreon patrons all switched over, and rent got paid. Guess Paypal just lost out on the fees for all those transactions. I hope it was worth it for them.

I'm a big Etsy fan when it comes to accessories, but am still pretty new to indie makeup. I've always been a bit out there in my tastes, so MAC, Makeup Forever, Inglot and Urban Decay have been my go-to makeups for my tastes. "Subtle" is not really something I'm known for. Still, with so few brands providing me the looks I want, indie makeup seemed like the place to turn. And I'm so glad I have!

I forget where I first heard of Melt Cosmetics. I think it might have been a femme group on Facebook? I went to the site and found a ton of lipsticks I was really excited to try. I ended up buying "Blow" and "Summer", and love them both so much. Heavily pigmented (at most I did two swipes), very very matte, and easy to put on even for a makeup n00b like me. I've definitely had "Summer" last me overnight, and tons of people complimented me on "Blow" when I wore it to the FPA screenings.

I'm still learning how to prevent lipstick from feathering, which I've had some issues with (green lipstick makes feathering super noticeable).  I've been using the clear lipliner to no avail (I think I generally do lipliner terribly though). There's a lot of guides about how to prevent it, though if you have any personal tips I'd love to hear them!

Melt's lipsticks are all matte, though I added a gloss just to the center of my look today and I think it gives them a nice glassy look. Because of how intense the colour is, I went for a pretty basic eyeshadow, with a light green liner above the eye to give it cohesiveness with the lips. I guess usually if you do dark lips you should go gentle on the eye makeup, but again, I'm not terrible subtle, so I went for a rosy pink with a silver lid, green liner and a dark silver liner over that.  Oh, and for cheeks I went for a peachy colour, which I think worked with the overall effect.

I will say there's something about the consistency of this lipstick that made me think of borrowing my grandma's bright pinks. It doesn't exactly glide on. That said, it also is pretty thick! I used it straight from the tube for the main part of my lips then used a lip brush to perfect the lines, which is what I'd suggest to others.

In dark rooms people will think this lipstick is blue, rather than a dark blue-green. Keep that in mind when matching your clothes, as you'll need it to look right with both dark green and dark blue. I personally matched it with silver, coral, teal, and of course can't go wrong with black, but I think gold would also really highlight this lipstick and set it off wonderfully.

All in all, I think I'll be picking up more Melt lipsticks to add to my collection. I want a dark dark red next! And maybe purple. And maybe that grey...