Calico posted a blog a bit ago about orgasm, and how there's lots of ways to have sexual fun without orgasm being the goal, or even the point. I have to say. For me, within a sexual encounter? I want to have an orgasm. Do I need it? No. But I do want it, and if my orgasm isn't forthcoming more often than it is, then I tend to feel a bit... unfulfilled. And more to the point, I'm horny and… View More

I'm watching "Eyes Wide Shut" for the first time. I have no idea if I'll finish it, as it seems long and I find Tom Cruise incredibly creepy.Not terribly impressed so far, but eh, we'll see. It seems like one of those movies you have to watch if you watch sexuality-related films. While so far it seems sorta meh, I do like Nicole Kidman naked except for glasses. Anyway. I spent the afternoon having a picnic outside with my… View More

Intimacy isn't difficult for me to access. I've believed it was because of my empathy, or because I'm lonely/clingy, because of my time in SF where that's more common or because of my time in the hospital where you made great friends and lost them in days. You never really knew when you'd see someone again, so why wish you had gotten to know them better when you could just invest the time? What's there to lose, really? This probably… View More

I think everyone has one of these. That little thing we don't want anyone to see, or hear, or know about. Psychological, physical, emotional... it could be Britney Spears on a hipster's ipod, or Gor in a feminist's bookshelf. For one lover, it was the thigh highs he stuck in the corner of his sock drawer... for another, it was the chest of toys and costumes he hid under his bed, meticulous about… View More

I'm watching a movie called "City Rats" and thinking about how prostitution is portrayed in the media. It's a pretty good flick- beautifully shot, and one I would watch again, actually- but it has the same idea as many of them do, that of sex worker as either tragic figure or money-grabber, as damaged, as jaded, and bored. My impression of my work is that I am a two way mirror. Sometimes,… View More

Today's metaphor: plugging something into a socket. You try it once, twice, three times, and it's unresponsive. Maybe it works, once, to give you hope, then not again. Then, you plug something in, cause, well, maybe this time it'll work, and it sparks and blows out the whole circuit. That was my night last night in S's flat, which I feel horribly guilty about, though a phone call from Mo (helpfully brought about by J) reassured me that… View More

After having written my last blog, I've thought a lot about what's been going right in my life. Cause, well, it's certainly not all doom and gloom- it's actually quite lovely at the moment! I consider myself an incredibly lucky girl. -I've started "officially" dating Mo, as a Real Live Girlfriend. I adore him. He's incredibly supportive, sexy as all hell, sweet, caring, and I truly love him. He loves me back, and it scares me sometime… View More

I've recently had to hurt two people I care pretty deeply for in the interest of my personal sanity, and cutting the dramatic out of my life as much as I possibly can. I have no doubt in my heart it was the right thing to do, on both counts, but that doesn't make it any easier, really. First, I got my stuff at last from TB. Standing in his room, looking at him, I realized that either I didn't love him anymore, or that I had shut my… View More

No, they aren't rose-tinted. They're rather boringly clear, I hate to say, but with anti-reflective lenses, hurray for… View More

It’s been too long since I’ve had a bruise on my body that was sexyfuntimes related, instead of just due to my own clumsiness. I missed the joy I would feel looking at the underside of my breast to discover little black and blue kisses, little reminders of orgasms hard won. I missed the desire that would overwhelm me, the slaps to my face that made me wonder how hard was too hard, the tears that would trickle out of my eyes,… View More