new glasses, and seeing the world through them

No, they aren't rose-tinted. They're rather boringly clear, I hate to say, but with anti-reflective lenses, hurray for that!

I look a bit like I'm about to scold someone. Probably myself, god knows why I'm awake at this hour. Well, ok, I also know why. I'm anxious. Anxious about going back to the UK, even just for a couple months. Anxious about money, though I feel fairly confident I'll be ok. Anxious about places to sleep, though I have several at my disposal. As per usual, it'll dissipate as I land, and sort things out. Doing that in person will help immensely. It always does. I'm just a crazy worrywart and a control freak. :) Who would've thought?

As I'm sort of revamping and reordering, I figure I'll post up the list o regular characters for those just beginning to follow along-

Mo- my California statistically significant other and boyfriend
E- hates for me to blog about him, so I won't, but figured he should be mentioned :)
S- was T, but to be in keeping with my mostly Victorian ailments trend, I figured this is more in keeping
C- was my Canadian girlfriend, from our favourite illness, Cholera
H- for my chickadee
J- a geeky friend of mine and C's
TB- originally meant to stand for thingboy- my client-cum-lover-turned-ex

Right! Ok, so that should make it easier to blog properly. And yes, each one is assigned a classic illness... don't ask. Or do, and I'll talk about it. A lot. :)

Anyway. That's more for my head than yours, carry on...

So, a blog entry. I'm flying back to London on the 30th, get there the morning of the 31st. I'm a lucky girl as I have J meeting me at the airport to help me get to S's flat, where I can crash while I sort out what to do from there. S won't be home yet, so I'll have some alone crash out time, which is likely a good plan as I may well be a nightmare. A tired, hungry nightmare.

It'll be interesting to go back to working, since I've been mostly out of commission while here in California. I'm definitely excited for it, and excited for potential playtimes while there... I have a few dates possibly, so that tends to kick start the old libido. The only thing standing in my way is retrieving my toys from TB, but that should go smoothly enough. It's amazing how much I've missed my violet wand, or my canes!

I'm also very excited to see H again after a long time apart. I'm itching to get my hands on her. I got these lovely cuffs that I'm quite thrilled to be using on her pretty wrists... patent leather bows, aww! She'll look precious. So I have things to look forward to- some I can confess, others I must keep secret. ;)

Still, it's scary. I'm sad to leave Mo after getting to a really amazing place with him. That said, one of the things I love about him is that I know he'll be here when I get back. Ours is the longest non-relationship I've ever had, and I'm really pleased and lucky to have him in my life. In some ways I wonder why I'm leaving this wonderful guy I know for this crazy unknown- but then I think, "Kitty, dahling, it's YOU!" and, well, it's true. I do this a lot. I like it. I like proving to myself that I can make shit happen out of nothing if I work hard enough. It keeps me feeling sassy.

It's amazing to me in some ways how easy it is to be out about work here, and also in London. I get a lot of questions, for sure, but it's so worth it, because I get the chance to dispell a lot of myths while still validating the experiences of others. We need more outwardly chatty sex workers, I think. If only we didn't get arrested for it here!

Also, I'm considering starting a zine. Something cheap and easy, like me. Oops, I mean, something cheap and easy that I can put together easily- I was considering my first one to be a client guide thing, the second to be about queering sex work, the third about safer sex tips and stories... I dunno, it's sort of an idea floating around. Yes? No?

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