Calico posted a blog a bit ago about orgasm, and how there's lots of ways to have sexual fun without orgasm being the goal, or even the point.

I have to say. For me, within a sexual encounter? I want to have an orgasm. Do I need it? No. But I do want it, and if my orgasm isn't forthcoming more often than it is, then I tend to feel a bit... unfulfilled. And more to the point, I'm horny and alert til that orgasm comes. Additionally, if kink is involved, I'm a lot more tolerant of multiple things (feet, for example, or pain... thanks, G, all I wank to now is spanking/anal smut now, sheesh) I otherwise wouldn't choose.

Now. The guy ejaculating? Not so big of a deal, though, again, if it doesn't happen more often than it does it's hard for me not to feel a little insecure about my abilities. However, if he's happy not having orgasmed, I'll generally feel ok letting it go. I do enjoy it when he tells me to tell him when to cum (and, yeah, I know, it's a smutty spelling, but "come" just doesn't look right to me) and since it's pretty easy for me after the first couple of orgasms to hold off til he tells me he's about to cum himself, I like to wait til he does. Yeah, it's corny, but I love the energy rush when we orgasm together, and, well, after a few myself I don't mind being patient.

I remember being asked why cumming was so important to me, since yeah, sex is fun whether or not you get to an orgasm. Granted, the guy who asked me that generally DID cum during our sexual encounters, so, yeah. I thought he'd understand. It may not be altogether right, but someone making sure that they listen and do the things I need to cum myself, or at least try to get me there, suggests to me that they're paying attention to my needs. I appreciate that.

Maybe it's partially cause of work, again, where I get loads of clients who want to get me off with oral stimulation (which, btw, never works, I don't care how good your tongue is) and they don't really want to hear that them sucking a strap on or whimpering in pain is more likely to make me cum than licking my pussy. One thing that separates my lovers from my clients is that my lovers genuinely want to make me happy and please me... my clients want reassurance that they can make a woman quiver with excitement. At heart, it's about them.

So yeah. I want to cum during sexual and/or kinky play, damn skippy! Anyway, who DOESN'T like sleeping in the wet spot. ;)