Guest Post: Why "Up Your Alley" Is Not Up My Alley Anymore

Denali Winter, the brains behind Petplay Palace, a new local petplay website, posted on their social media last night that their hope to shoot some hot content at the Up Your Alley fair (also known as Dore Alley) was shattered yesterday, much to their surprise.  Volunteers and cops alike informed Denali that "no touch that might provoke ejaculation" was allowed, but that they could kick or punch their submissive in the balls as much as they liked.


I mean I know we culturally feel that violence is far more acceptable than sex, but REALLY?? There's something seriously messed up when violent touch is fine but sensual touch is Forbidden with a capital F.

I have my own post coming about this situation, among other situations in San Francisco that makes me feel like sexy is being slowly, systematically picked off by the local and state governments.  But in the meantime, please read this account by Denali Winter about their experience this Sunday, and, if you feel so inclined,  check out Petplay Palace and Alice in Bondageland!

My friend and mentor Mistress Alice of Alice in Bondageland, roommate Mistress Claire, her submissive Beau, and myself were planning a shoot today at Dore Alley. Public sex and kink have always been permissable (at least, in our experiences) at Dore Alley, Folsom, and Pride. Alice has been shooting hardcore content at pretty much every public even allowed for years and years here in the bay area.

It was Claire's and my first Dore, but I have 3 years of experience doing public bondage and kink. Among my many stunts with Alice was our 2012 human pride flag shoot on Solstice in the middle of the Castro. At that shoot we were not only never harassed, but encouraged and applauded by members of the gay community for our "performance art piece."

Claire's sub specifically came to San Francisco to shoot porn and party it up, SF style. Last year he went to Dore Alley ​and sucked tons of cock in the street, with no questions asked and nobody stepping in to interrupt. Alice, myself, and many other people use the kinky street fairs as opportunities to shoot crazy, artsy, only-in-San-Francisco videos and photos.

So, we went to the corner of Folsom and Dore and started setting up our shoot. Our sub, whose on-camera name is Beau, wore a brand new puppy play hood, and the shoot was intended to create shared content for my new website, Petplay Palace, and Alice and Claire's clip stores. The hood has ears, a snap-on blindfold option, and a snout/mouth that zips open. We got our sub naked in front of a big crowd and alice, my roommate claire, and I got strapped on. Our big plan was to make him suck our cocks (strapon dildos, obviously), show him off to the crowd, make him do some puppy play stuff, and maybe let him out of chastity. Maybe fuck his ass, if the vibe felt right.And the vibe did feel right as we all got ready... we had a huge crowd around us, taking photos and meekly asking us if they could join in (sorry, boys!).

Then, all of a sudden, a very friendly, apologetic, but firm Dore volunteer leader (Jesse, actually, who's Mr SF Leather 2012) came and told us NO penetration was allowed any more at Dore Alley. That meant no pegging, no fingering, no blowjobs. Even with dildos and condoms.

Oooookay, that really sucks. But we can still give our sub the scene he deserves, right? We were determined to make something work, even though we'd only packed a bit of rope and strapon supplies. We're creative. So we zipped his hood shut and whacked him in the face with our dildos, like you do. Made him beg for cocks he now wasn't allowed to touch. Tease and denial is fun!
Then, when we hoisted him upright again to tie him up and show the crowd his chastity device, we were interrupted by another staff member."No touching his penis," they told us.

"Even through a solid plastic chastity device?" Alice asked.

"Even through the device." Uuuuugh, fiiiiiine.

Over the next 20 minutes or so, as we tied up our submissive, wrote on his chest, and posed with him for pictures, any hand even *slapping* his chastity device drew the attention of either a cop or volunteer, all giving us slightly different interpretations of the "no naughtiness rules."HOWEVER, every SINGLE person who stopped us from doing something sexy made a special point to tell us that we COULD kick our friend in the balls, or punch his balls, just no fondling or "risking ejaculation." Chastity devices specifically prevent ejaculation...and how does putting a dildo in someone's mouth fall into that category? Violence good, sex bad. Really? This is right out of the mouths of cops.

This happened four or five times before the mood was so ruined and we were all so irritated that we called it quits, threw our clothes on, and regrouped back at Wicked Grounds.

Alice has been shooting porn and toeing the legal lines for about 15 years (since her 18th birthday, she tells people), and told me that she's never felt so censored in San Francisco before. "When rubbing fake cocks on a fake mouth is all you can do towards pleasure but HURT cocks and balls all you want...Shitty priorities." she texted me after we parted ways. "Is fucking myself with a hitachi while clothed a sex act? More likely to cause orgasm than touching a guys junk through a chastity device..."
Granted, we had some good moments, too. At one point, this hot lady cop approached us. We were tying our puppy to a street sign, and she beckoned Alice over."Make sure your puppy gets enough water," was her only comment. "You get dehydrated extra fast in those hoods." And then she smiled and walked away.
This whole experience took us all by surprise. Overall, we were treated really nicely by staff and security, and we got warnings and wrist slaps instead of, say, getting arrested, so I guess we should be grateful.But the weird standard of "no 'provoking ejaculation' but yeah totally have fun smashing his balls up" made me uncomfortable. And the fact that we were interrupted probably 5 times in 20 minutes for *tapping* someone's locked-up cock, but several of our "audience members" were wanking freely in plain sight reeeeally bugged me. The three of us female-reading dommes, all of us queer as all hell, felt very targeted due to our gender. We were very popular with the crowd, but I think the combination of us being some of the only women (I use the term loosely) at the event, and being porn people with cameras, made us one of the main targets for shutdowns.

I heard, however, that Bound in Public (a kink.com site) did a fucking scene in front of the crowd that included actual sex, and nobody stopped them. Grumble. Grumble grumble grumble.

It really is a massive disappointment that the "porn freaks" are no longer welcome at Dore Alley.Unless, of course, we were kink.com.


Categories: activism, bdsm, censorship, community, consent, female sexuality, fetishes, guest post, public, stigma, the stupid States, think of the children!

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