So, one of the things I'm going to try to do is highlight some of my older posts which were super popular on my old blog and aren't getting any notice here. Today? I'm gonna remind you about what it's like fucking in a coffin (with some edits, because, well, thankfully I'm improving as a writer)
So I joined the 6 Feet Under Club.
I mean, I needed something to distract me, and it was a typical evening in San Francisco, so when asked "hey, would you like to have sex in a coffin" really what other answer will you give other than yes, yes, absolutely.
My self-preservation skills have never been great.
Now, to clarify- the woman who fucked me in that coffin, R, she's been a friend for a while, and we've flirted about as long as we've known each other. But we've never gotten around to a date- she's busy, I'm busy, so it just got put off. You know how it is, too much of a good thing, always distracted, FOMO nipping your heels all the way.
Until she asked me if I would join her for this Arse Elektronika experiment exploring private and public space. And how did they want to do this? By creating a coffin for two, with a night vision camera, burying it in a dumpster in SoMa, and recording/projecting the camera's visuals onto the side of a building, of course. I mean, what better way to explore what privacy means in an internet age?
I wasn't sure if I'd be in California when this was going on as I was waiting on paperwork to fly to London, so I hesitantly said yes, despite my fear of enclosed spaces. I wanted to challenge myself, and hell, this isn't even on the purity test, so it must be awesome. Plus, ok, I'll admit it... I read a lot of Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite and this sounded like the sexiest, most terrifying thing ever.
Well, thanks to bureaucracy taking such a long time to process my visa, I was here for it. So I asked her Wednesday if she was still up for it. She was. We made some preliminary plans, I discovered there were slots available, and started freaking out about what one wears to a first date where you're going to be having sex in a coffin. You know, the usual problem for a Saturday night. I decided on a sheer striped black slip, stockings, and, of course, no panties. For practical purposes. Coffins don't have a lot of wiggle room, after all.
So I laid all this stuff out, and then spent too long at a friend's house so rather than the slow, chill time I had planned to get ready and prepare myself, I found myself doing what I often do on Saturdays- grabbing my outfit and running out the door, sadly without any of my femme makeup. Or a vibrator. I did have condoms and lube, though- old habits die hard, I suppose. I decided, fuck it, it's a night vision camera, would it matter really if I had eyeliner on? Probably not.
I had promised dinner but ended up grabbing some Thai on the run, as opposed to the sit down leisurely dinner I had planned, due to traffic and my own rushing around like crazy. Oops. Still, I got some nice stuff, and she was happy to be fed, as was I. We wandered into PariSoMa right as the last panel discussion was wrapping up, a discussion about making spaces for sex, at parties, within rituals, and on the playa. Fascinating stuff. If you're into sex and technology and how they interact, I highly recommend checking out this conference, it's got some great stuff (I've spoken there a few times now, and it's kinda how I got to know Maggie and Ned Mayhem). The Monochrom kids are completely nuts. Read their blog and poke around their site, it's like if club kids were geeks... and Austrian.
Anyway, thankfully, despite my forgetfulness, I had picked a fabulous partner for the 6 Feet Under Club. R is well-versed in erotic film, and sex with girls, though not with coffin sex. She had brought a lovely dildo, condoms, two harnesses, vegan lube, and enough gloves to fist an army. This is one of many reasons why I adore her. We ate, and tiptoed to the bathroom- I could see through the window the dumpster filled with dirt and the coffin in the middle, waiting for the first victim/volunteers. It gave me goosebumps, and, well, some wetness between the legs. I'll admit it- I was scared, and it was hot as hell.
I decided that I needed to have a smoke, but really I wanted to sneak out and investigate the coffin up close. It was satin inside, and cushy, with a comforter doubled up on the bottom and some lovely pillows for under the head. The camera was precariously perched on the ceiling right in the middle of the coffin- meaning, you either got visuals of the head, or the feet. Looking at it in person, 80x30x24 actually seemed kind of roomy, though that camera was going to take some manipulating around.
R and I started to discuss how we might position ourselves when a lady came by and asked if we were going in the coffin. When we replied to the affirmative, she asked for an interview. I said sure, cause, hell, my parents read this blog, and Grandma's pretty unlikely to watch SF Weekly videos. So she asked me why I was here, was I a necrophiliac, what made me want to do this, was I into Dracula, etc. I did the interview, finding the whole thing wildly entertaining as a hedonist who has a fetish for novelty, and then went back to discussing logistics. One of the gravediggers gave us details about how it worked, that they'd cover the lid with dirt, and then give us a 5 minute warning via banging on the cover of the coffin. It was originally just R and I and another couple, and I felt a little disappointed.
Then, a couple of friends arrive, including one who does fantastic paintings, who reassured me that a friend of hers who was an engineer had done the math and there'd be plenty of air to make it safe. Probably. I was so happy to see people I knew! Both of them were curious but not sure if they could follow through. I, meanwhile, took too long to get changed so had to wait for couple #1 to go first. In retrospect, I'm really glad, because it gave us a feel for what it'd be like, how to position ourselves, and how we wanted to deal with things like gloves and lube.
While couple #1 were getting it on in the coffin, one of their friends says something about how she's not sure how she feels about watching her friends having sex. Initially, I was like "really? I watch my friends have sex all the time!" but actually being a porn reviewer who knows a good number of the porn stars you see... it can feel a little weird, maybe even invasive. I've been known to ask people if it's ok to watch porn with them in it, just to be sure.
Oh, I forgot to mention the release form. It basically said that being buried alive is, well, dangerous, and not for people who are claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, have breathing issues, heart problems, etc. Amusingly, as it was being read out, the cops drove by, and waved. We waved back. Just another night in San Francisco I suppose, though I doubt they had any idea what we were up to. (note: now, in 2014, I wonder if we'd get away with it)
"Don't worry," said Johannes, the Undertaker of the experience, "we have a permit. For the dumpster, anyway".
R and I happily signed our release forms and started getting ready- I took off my street clothes and slipped on my negligee, removing my panties (practical, remember?) while she strapped on her harness and got the safer sex supplies ready. I was pretty nervous, but way, way too excited to back out. Plus, remember, first date, and first playdate, with this hot woman I had been wanting to sleep with for a while- doing it in a coffin would be a memorable first time, though I'm not sure how I would top it next time around.
Couple #1 came out, safe, happy, and flushed. I gave my coat to one of my friends and asked her to take photos of the night vision projection. They didn't come out very clearly, and keep in mind, the camera was positioned right in the middle so we had to maneuver around it. And yes, there is a recording of this, and we'll get it in a couple of days- I'll post it if I can (I am a show off after all).
The coffin was opened for us now, so I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I was surprised at how comfortable it actually was, though glad to have gotten rid of the satin barrier that was my panties. I settled in, R strapped her cock on while I lubed up my pussy, and we tried a few positions, finally settling with me on the bottom, slightly to one side, and her on top. She's pretty slender, and I'm fat, so it was a bit of a squeeze but we worked it out! We realized it'd be easier to insert the cock while the coffin was opened, so I put on some latex gloves to guide her cock in, and the door was shut.
It was dark in there. Really dark. And lying there, a cock in my pussy, hearing the dirt being dumped over the lid was incredibly sexy. We started kissing, gingerly at first, then more and more passionately as she started to fuck me. The confined space meant my left leg could only go up so far (I recommended afterwards that they install some rope foot loops to give some leverage), but it was far enough. I was definitely feeling conscious of the camera until her cock started to touch my cunt. With her cock hitting my clit as she slowly, then faster inserted herself, I was in heaven.
Together we freed my breast from my bra and she licked and sucked my nipple as she thrusted. We giggled, and I gasped a lot. It was cramped, so we had to change position a little to make it more comfortable, but it was incredibly erotic. The darkness, the blind reaching for each other, the sounds, the scent. Oh, the scent. A coffin fills up very quickly with the smell of aroused girl, that's for sure. Soon she was rubbing my clit while I grabbed her harnessed ass, and then her latex gloved hands were fingering me so expertly I would have squirted if I wasn't so self conscious about the next couple in!
I had been worried about the air, hot air being something that can trigger panic in me. It actually wasn't so bad, and, as I kind of guessed, being fucked while in that sort of confined space really makes you care less about claustrophobia. Instead I found the warm air to be even more sensual, and the satin against my skin made me tingle. 15 minutes literally flew by in a haze of moaning and building orgasm. "Bite my nipples, please" I begged R, and she did, making me go right to the edge. I came right before they opened the coffin to two panting, shaky women, and we scrambled up to a round of applause. Appropriately, we were told to bury our safer sex supplies in the dirt, so we did, and gratefully took the towels they provided for afterwards. My legs were wobbly, and my head, I think, was a bit out of it, as I tried to put my shoes on before my underwear, then thought better of it. After the sweating and the heat of the coffin, the cold night air in SoMa was rather shocking to the system. I kind of wanted to crawl back in.
We got certificates for joining the 6 Feet Under Club. I'll probably frame mine (note: I did). I feel really proud that I did it in spite of my fear, and am still completely giddy. There ended up being three queer and three straight(seeming) couples. I even got to watch one female friend initiate another into her first bisexual strap on sex in 25 years, and also saw another friend and her boyfriend get it on. There was a hot gay couple I know from Burning Man as well, which was fabulous. I loved the variety of orientations and types of sex represented. Though, Monochrom, next time you make a sex coffin, let me give you some tips on where to put the camera for a better angle... and, yeah, foot loops. There's no traction, in a satin-covered coffin, and it's hard on the fucker to get enough oomph to really get going.
Would I do it again? Most definitely. I'm happy to have done it, and consider myself incredibly lucky to have had such a lovely companion for the experience. Though, as she said, next date, we're going to go for a place with pillows. And a shower. And, probably, more room.
I wanted to write this while it was still fresh, but it's 4am now, so I'm signing off. But yes, fucking in a coffin is dead sexy.
(Note: I have not yet gotten to do this again... but absolutely would!)