So, next up in our "Think Of the Children!" category of porn parodies, the movies you remember from childhood, is of course "Grease XXX".

I have a longstanding relationship with the movie "Grease". When I was in second grade I remember pulling a boy out from the crowd to be my dance partner for "You're the One That I Want". I don't even remember what the point of the routine was, but that boy became my boyfriend pretty much because I decided he should be. "Grease" always reminds me of that summer, both my budding libido and my sexual naiveté.

This won "Best Parody" at both AVN and was nominated as such for XBiz, and it was well-deserved. The performers obviously watched the movie and personified their characters really well. I also appreciated that there were performers who had pubic hair, and ones who didn't, so whatever your preference there was representation.

We start off with Sandy (Riley Reid) and Danny (Seth Gamble, who is super cute!) frolicking at the beach. Sandy decides a good way to make sure Danny doesn't forget her is by giving him a blow job. He comes in her mouth, and it's all actually kind of sweet and innocent.

"Where Is the Lube?" is seriously a porn parody song that fucking WORKS. It works!! I need to memorize this for the next karaoke night. It's to the song "Grease is the Word", too, so it's even funnier when you're familiar with the source material. Well fucking played, Will Ryder.

I have to say, the script was amazing. The guys gathering to talk about what they did over the summer was really a dirty version of the original script. Kenickie, Sonny and Doobie are played by Richie Calhoun, Anthony Rosano and Talon, respectively, and while they're all older of course they manage the tone of their originals very well. Chad Diamond plays Putzie, and is WAY better than he was as Will Schoe in Glee XXX.

The Pinkie Ladies (so called because they're "pink in all the right places") start talking about their summers, and of course Sandy tells them about Danny. "He was sweet, and sincere, and very respectful" she says dreamily. "He sounds horrible!" says Marty (Brooklyn Chase), in a response that made me laugh. Frenchie (Trinity St. Claire) is sweet and sympathetic,  and Jan (Coco Velvet) is amazed that Sandy doesn't shave. Everyone is disappointed when Sandy explains that Danny couldn't get it up. "A man without an erection is like breakfast without orange juice" says Rizzo, who is perfectly played by Kiera King.

They then go into "Summer Lovin'", where Sandy sings about Danny's lack of an erection, and Danny sings about all the various positions they supposedly did. This was pure genius. And the singing wasn't bad! I was actually impressed, considering most of the porn performers did their own singing judging from the credits. It's no wonder they won "best soundtrack" at AVN, or that Axel Braun (who did the Rocki Whore parody) did the music.

Mrs. McGee (Rebecca Bardoux) is amazing. She gives announcements, including that all cheerleaders will now be required to wear panties. The students seem bummed out about this. Anyway, that's the background as Danny and Sandy meet. Danny starts off excited (though he can't remember where she's from), and Sandy is shocked at how he changes into the cool dude we expect for his friends, and runs away crying.

Then someone (a cheerleader, presumably? played by Gaia) walks in and with no explanation starts sucking Putzie's cock while everyone else watches and comments on it.

I actually really liked this because usually porn parodies just focus on the main couple and everyone else is just... there. In this, though, they're commenting on the blow job the whole way through! I think the best part for me was at the end, when Rizzo says the student's face with jizz all over it looks like a glazed donut. Oh, Rizzo.

Then we get to the slumber party scene, the perfect time for a girl-girl scene. We get one with Jan and Marty, right in front of the others, though Rizzo says that she's "strictly dickly tonight" in a particularly Rizzo-like turn of phrase.

There's a lot of nipple play and breast play. I was surprised that Jan, who originally expressed disgust at Sandy's lack of knowledge about bikini waxes, was actually unshaven- a very nice surprise! We even get some scissoring, which is super sexy to watch.

Sandy runs out (after the scene is over), freaked out by all this sex right in front of her, and spurring Rizzo's "Sandra Day" song. It's fantastic, making fun of Sandy's horror at having watched girls playing with girls, her saving of her virginity, and her discomfort with sex in general. I felt like this worked, both song-wise and advancing the plot/characterizations.

The boys come over to the sleepover for a came of Truth of Dare  which of course turns filthy. But we don't really see what ensues, as we follow Rizzo and Kenickie to Mrs. McGee's office, where they actually have sex somewhat intimately.

There's a blow job, and pussy eating, and fucking on the desk while Kenickie "makes an announcement" over the loudspeaker, which felt very *them*. Kenickie ejaculates on Rizzo's face, which somewhat complicates her supposed pregnancy, but I'm sure this will be figured out.

Cha-Cha (Adriana Chechik) comes sauntering in, saying how she's the "pussy prize" if they win in the race against the Scorpions. The guys are worked up by this, because she's in her underwear for a start. "Why, this girl is problematic... she's charismatic... she's acrobatic... it's Cha-Cha!" is pretty much the best thing I've heard so far in this porn. They sing about how amazing Cha-Cha is, including the dance (!) before Danny and Kenickie wander off, leaving Sonny and Doody to fuck Cha-Cha (and, somewhat suddenly, Gaia, who I guess just hangs around all the time for blowjobs?)

This scene is nice enough, but I kind of wish they all interacted together more, rather than both playing separately. There's some switching which is nice, and eventually the girls make out, but for the most part they're just two different scenes happening in the same place at the same time. Cha-Cha is amazing to watch during this- watching her give a blow job, you can kinda see how she'd be a prize. Also she really seems to be enjoying herself which frankly makes a lot of difference- Gaia is newer to porn, which might be it, but she seems more like she's pretending. There's a lot of spit and gagging in this scene. Also? I wish Sonny took his shirt off. He seems a bit chubbier, and maybe that's why he didn't, but I thought he was cute. Eventually the guys come in the girls mouths and then make out.

Danny and Sandy are at the diner talking, though Sandy is still angry at his behaviour. Frenchie shows up with her pink hair, leading Danny to suggest she's a better cocksucker than hair tinter (likely true) before Danny and Sandy both disappear. We then get treated to a scene where Frenchie is basically negged by her Guardian Angel (Kurt Lockwood, who sings "let me put my penis in your mouth" without cracking up) leading to, what else? More sex. I do enjoy the lingerie-clad backup singers, especially as the women aren't all super slender or have big breasts, which was nice. Frenchie is fucking adorable during this scene... even though it's pretty fucked up for her Angel guy to say she's only ever going to be good as a beauty school slut. There's also a bit of pussy stretching during cunnilingus, which I'm really into right now.

At this point, I want to say that I'm amazed at the amount of ball licking/sucking I now see in parody porn. It used to be very occasional, but now it seems standard (every blowjob involves some ball action now).

Finally we get the carnival scene, which is funny cause the hammer top falls of when they use it, and Ron Jeremy (of course) is a carnival barker.  Their version of "You're the One That I Want" is funny, though kind of the clumsiest song parody, even if it was about Danny's erection.

I think the sex scene that ensues between Danny and Sandy is kind of incredible, though, because they left a loop of kids at an amusement park (!) which seemed both really fitting and totally inappropriate. Finally seeing Sandy and Danny get it on was worth the wait, and it was totally sweet and gentle. You feel happy for them at the end, even.

I really loved this porn parody. Since I also loved the Wizard of Oz porn parody, maybe I just have a thing for the musicals of my childhood being made into filth? I don't know.  I think this would have appeal both for fans of the original and people who are wanting some hot sex with a humorous, story driven twist. It works, even if it's a bit silly. "Grease XXX" is definitely going into my faves.