I haven’t blogged for the last couple of weeks because I’ve been in Boston visiting my boy and my parents. Obviously, I wanted to concentrate on the moment!

It’s been 5 months since I last saw him- 5 months apart are just impossible to deal with, to be honest. After months of us sleeping in the same bed, seeing each other all the time, 5 months felt like total torture, especially with 8 hours time difference. I had tried to get a visa back to the UK and had failed (they needed more financial information than I had at the time) and so what was originally expected to be 3 months at the most ended up being a lot longer.

So eventually we agreed to meet up in Massachusetts for a 2 week visit- we figured it was about time for him to meet my parents, after all, and I hadn’t seen them for years. Plus, MA was right between San Francisco and London, so we each had a 7 hour or so flight to each other. My parents made us amazing food, including lobster and an early Thanksgiving, and we got to go to the local shooting range which was fabulous. We visited Salem, went to see the Tiger Lilies on Halloween, met up with friends and went to the aquarium. It was nice to show the boy all my old haunts and explore some new ones.

Granted, it had some bumps to it. The night we got in, the power went out thanks to some wet snow... and it was out for 3 days! No heat, no electricity, no fridge. Kinda crazy, especially in a house filled with books (it's really no wonder I struggle to get rid of books myself- runs in the family). But sitting and drinking wine in front of the fireplace was quite nice. And as it was my boy's 26th birthday, my parents also gifted us with a night at a B&B, which was very sweet of them and really lush, soaking in a jacuzzi tub in a Victorian room. Best of both worlds.

We had a fantastic time together. We don’t fight nearly as often anymore, and we’ve definitely gotten better at communicating. And there’s just something for the feeling I get every time I see the boy, this overwhelming swelling of love in my heart that makes me realize- this is love, this is really the guy I want to spend my life with. He is constantly trying to be better for me, and I’m trying to improve for him too. I know that this is the guy I want to marry, to settle down and grow old with. And that’s so scary and new and amazing, all at the same time.

It’s also heartbreaking. Every time I see him I just feel... right. But saying goodbye, over and over again, rips me apart. I freak out about how much it hurts, sometimes, because I worry that we’re just stupidly codependent on each other- but I think it’s as simple as missing the chemistry we have together, missing my submissive and my lover.

I couldn’t stop touching him. And I’m not a hugely touchy feely person. Every chance I got I would run my hands over his chest, along his thighs, around his arms. I just want to bury my face into his chest or tummy and never let go. The body of someone you love becomes one of the most comforting things in the world- the scent of them, the softness of their skin, the wiry hair pressed against your cheek. Every time we part ways I have to learn to sleep alone all over again. Walking away from the boy to go through security was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while.

I don’t understand people who say they couldn’t love their submissive- I can’t imagine him in my life any other way. He's not some object to me- he's a complimentary piece to me.

And one day, I'm going to marry that boy- my boy, my fox, my lover, my partner, my submissive.

Until then, we'll keep snatching these moments together- some of the most precious time I have.

More blogging will follow later- I have multiple reviews to work on, along with some new insight into ageplay...!