Full disclosure- I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love all the sparkly ornaments and the fun of shopping for the perfect present for the people I care about. I love the saccharine songs and drinking hot toddies while walking around looking at holiday light displays. The whole thing. I'm not religious, but there's something magical for me about the holidays, even with all the stress. I want to cultivate that sense of magic and generosity year round.
A lot of my friends HATE Christmas. Many of them in particular hate Christmas music, often because they've worked retail and heard the same 10 songs over and over so it's like a reverse Pavlov thing, they start to hyperventilate when they hear Nat King Cole. I totally understand.
These songs are for you, friends.
Some of them hate Christmas itself, others hate the romantic hogwash that seems to be linked all too often with the holidays. Enjoy!
1. Fuck Christmas - FEAR
"Don't despair/Just because it's Christmas"
2. Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern) - Miles Davis
"Merry Christmas/I hope yours is a bright one, but for me, it bleeds"
3. This Christmas, I'll burn it to the ground - Set It Off
"Oh my God, it's here, this awful time of year"
4. Hating you For Christmas - Everclear
"I just want to sit in our apartment and hate you/Yes, I will be hating you for Christmas"
5. I Hate You This Christmas - Kate Nash
"All the Christmas lights and the mistletoe/Are only making me feel more alone"
6. Zombie Christmas - Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler
"They don't feel the cold when it's 50 below/You see them sucking brains out in the snow"
7. A Christmas Duel - The Hives vs Cyndi Lauper
"I set your record collection on fire/And said I never knew"
8. Christmas Tree's on Fire - Holly Golightly
"The thing it ain't been watered since I put it in the stand/and I used the fire alarm battery for the flashlight in my van"
9. Xmas Has Been X'ed - NOFX
"St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve/We celebrate the last Christmas Eve"
10. Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - Fall Out Boy
"All I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me/before you bury yourself alive"
11. Ex-Miss - New Found Glory
"Another year, this time I'll regret/That I spent too much time and money on you"
12. Christmas Night of Zombies - MxPx
"Christmas night of the living dead/My face is green and the snow is red"
13. Christmas With the Devil - Spinal Tap
"The sugar plums are rancid/And the stockings are in flames"