back in Edinburgh

I really enjoy being here in Edinburgh. I'm not sure what, specifically, it is, if it's anything specific at all. There are aspects I enjoy greatly- the feeling of being a traveling businesswoman, for a start, especially if I think of it as a jet-setting sex worker! I know it's just within the UK, but still- there's something about the freshness of having a flat to yourself, with a room for play/business and a room with a HUGE bed to sleep and roll around on. While I couldn't afford it every day, there's something luxurious about having all this space to myself for a few days. And luxury of any kind is, to me, sexy.

I'm a pretty hedonistic girl, all things considered. I'll happily shell out money for fancy manicures or hot rock massages, though I also melt under the touch of a naked lover massaging me (and there's that added advantage of being able to fuck them after, which is always a pleasure in itself). I like fancy cars, and first class, and restaurants with more serving utensils than items of food on a plate. I think it's partially why I enjoy fetish so much- all the little fiddly bits, all the little snippets of luxury in the sensuality of soft leather or a singletail made of fur. I like having enough playthings to have favourites, like my metal cane or my pink ball gag.

I'm sitting in my robe, waiting for some sausages to cook to eat with an apple and some wine. I'm watching "se7en" at the moment, having watched "Pi" last night (though I don't think I absorbed enough of it, so I'm going to watch it again). I'm grateful to my thingboy (TB, for want of a better term- I'm crap at cutesy nicknames) for letting me borrow a few movies I hadn't seen yet- all I have are old favourites, really, ones I'm a little too familiar with. And that's a luxury too, new films and thoughts and images to wallow in and absorb.

Along with those new images are new ideas, thanks to a night out at a fetish club out here and also to an old friend/lover who introduced me long distance to some people. I got to practice some fast and easy rope bondage techniques, so I'll be a little more comfy beginning to play with it. That's very exciting, as rope has always been very pretty to me but very out of reach, and I've always felt too impatient for it- the girlfriend wriggles too much and TB wants total immobilization, really, which worries me with something like rope that presses against nerves and such. But now with some accessible knowledge I think I could try it again...

It's also very chilled out here. I went to a play party, right, yet I don't feel overwhelmed and stressed because it was in the basement of a pub, not some huge space. And people were friendly, super friendly. It felt like a place I could practice and not be scared of someone judging me. I liked that.

So far I've had two clients, and they were both pretty cool in their own ways. I'm hoping this weekend fills up with work- if I have two clients a day or so, I'll be very pleased. I want to spend some of Sunday exploring though, as last time I didn't get to do much of that at all, or taking photos. And while I was doing the sessions, I was thinking "do I really like this work?" and I realized... yes, yes I do. I see what I do as providing a service.

I got to introduce a guy to anal play and thuddy pain for the first time, and he loved it. That's what it's all about. God knows my Top side is still reeling with ideas and plots for TB, and my upcoming performance with my girlfriend, and those are sacred and special (I even refused to do some play with a client because I liked doing it with TB too much to cheapen the thrill), but at the same time I have a lot to offer my clients. And it was precisely because of my work that I crossed paths with TB at all, and I'm grateful for that for sure!

I miss my lovers, actually. I miss snuggles. And I miss orgasms, orgasms that are about *me*, one after another, and the desire to flood them with orgasms back. But I think forward to the new adventures, like Paris Decompression or exploring London further, or Santacon, or...or...or! And I get excited all over again. I'm in love, with my lovers, with Edinburgh, with the world, with life. It's been a good day. And the wine is kicking in.

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