So on Sunday I did my first adult movie.

Seriously! It's been years of me wanting to get into pornography but things never really clicked. I'd only get requests from companies who wanted to market me as a "fat piggy" girl and I really hate that. I don't want to add to fat phobia, OR the fetishizing of fat girls' bodies. 

So I waited. And got pretty old for porn- I mean, 26? I'm practically withered in porn years.

I applied at No Fauxxx but didn't know what to do with a camera on my own... Kink, of course, never wrote me back, and Pink and White kept promising (and maybe, in January?) but so far, no luck.

Then I started talking to a woman named Kelly. She runs Padded Kink, a great BDSM website with lots of hot chubby girls and boys on it. Yum! She donated a month's subscription to my fundraising cause, which was lovely of her. Poking around her site I found myself wanted to give it a go- when I found out she was going to be in my neck of the woods, I jumped on the opportunity.

But then I started to get nervous. I hadn't done porn before. What was I thinking? I'd have to TALK, carry a conversation, act like I know what I'm doing! Madness. I must be mad. Never mind my fear that the stuff I enjoy is just too weird for camera. 

But I did two scenes. And I had SO much fun, Kelly was a delight to work with. Amusingly, two porn scenes, 40 min each, and I never took off my clothes- but there's always next time, with the boy. ;)

The first scene was a cowgirl/cow scene with this beautiful woman I'm lucky enough to have played with before. Our chemistry was automatic, and I played with her much like I would have had we been alone. Her kisses make me crumple. It was an incredibly hot, weird scene and I loved it.

The second scene was a an ageplay/encouraged assplay scene with me as a Mummy. It was kind of fun to explore this role in a way that was playful, experimental, with no pressure. I found the dialogue easier than expected, though not knowing the man I was playing with that well definitely added an awkwardness. Still, it was fun, and I look forward to seeing them both!

I'd tell you more but then why bother getting a subscription, eh? ;)

The thing this really solidified for me is that I love when sex work allows me to be myself and do things I like. I can't wait to do another scene- evil clowns, maybe? Needles? Puppyplay? I'm not sure, but it'll be exciting whatever it is!

Best part is? Place we shot had two adorable 5 month old kittens. AWWWWWW. Sorry, I don't have photos of them. But they were freakin' adorable.

So! Kind of an awesome big deal. 

And on the end of another awesome big deal- I'll be able to go back to the UK for a visit after all, and can finalize this damn divorce. HURRAY! Thank you to everyone who helped make it happen- that bond was the tipping point, I think!