One of the things I keep hearing about abuse in the BDSM community is "oh, but that doesn't happen HERE". "I've never had something like that happen to me," some scoff, "so it must be something you're doing", or "I've never heard of that happening here". In each case, I have often had stories from people in those communities, unsure how to speak up or what to say locally, but feeling safe to discuss it with someone who will respect their anonymity and just listen.

I put together a blog carnival a while back using articles about BDSM and abuse written by prominent bloggers. But apparently, that's not enough. Since starting this discussion with Maggie, we have had many people come to us to confess their own stories, to say how yes, it does happen in their communities, but they're too intimidated to come forward. So I want to make space for them, and for you.

Do you have other stories of entitlement culture and abuse in your altsex spaces? Please, please share it with me, so we can band together and say yes, this happens, and no, it's not ok.

Email me links to blogs, miss dot kitty dot stryker at gmail, or send me an email with your story (700 words or less) and I will post it anonymously for you- I'd appreciate if you can share where you're from (as specific or not as you wish) and perhaps your age or gender to show the diversity of experience. You don't have to be a brilliant writer, you don't have to spellcheck, just share your story. I will post as many as I can on February 4th. I am committed to keep this a safe space, and will publish anything that maintains that space with respect.


You don't have to be silent anymore.