"Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving." -Erma Bombeck (triggers within)

So it seems we haven't gotten over the happyfuntime that is blaming the victim, according to this article over at the Beeb. And does it surprise anyone that women are far less forgiving than men, really?

::sigh:: From the article:

"Of the women who believed some victims should take responsibility, 71% thought a person should accept responsibility when getting into bed with someone, compared with 57% of men." 

This is horrifying but doesn't surprise me at all. I've found that women tend to be the worst about justifying why other women have been sexually assaulted. I wonder if on some level it's a strategy for emotional walls- being able to say "oh, that wouldn't happen to me, because I don't do _____ like she did" might provide an illusion of safety, and keep that nice tidy idea of "nice girls behave this way, bad girls behave this way" in place. 

What I found interesting was this quote:

"And one in five adults had been in a situation where they were made to have sex when they did not want to. This had happened to more women (23%) than men (20%)."

Not a huge percentage difference there, though because of the mental mindfuck rape is, who knows how many women and men didn't consider sex lacking explicit consent (for example, under the influence) as rape. I mean, if I counted every time I had sex with, say, a date, or a boyfriend, when I didn't want to as rape... I don't know, that's kind of scary. I'm pretty in touch with myself, and I couldn't say if that counts to me as rape or not. I've certainly felt like I owed someone sexual activity after a date, or because we're in a relationship, or because I've said no for a while. When does cajoling become rape, and where is the line between being raped and just not saying yes..?

What makes me more angry is some of the horrible sexual assault prevention tips that are given out BY THE FUCKING POLICE. Or how about this ad by cabwise- one of which is right down the street from me and triggers me every time I see them? Why can't we focus on positive messages for men about how consent is sexy instead of striking fear into the hearts of women so they can't HELP but fall into the "Schrödinger’s Rapist" trap? And when the fuck are we going to stop making rape and sexual assault out to be something sexy and edgy in fashion magazines? I'm all about consensual non-consent in a kinky scene, sure, but when advertisements like this are around people pick up on those messages without even thinking about them. Gah.

I'd write more, but I'm kind of pissed off and triggering myself.

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