February 14th is over now.

First, can I just say check my shit out- I'm blogging regularly again! I'd like to entirely blame the boy, to be honest, who provokes my mind in so many ways.

Also, this photo has nothing to do with this blog. (Sorry, LJ followers, you have to come to blogspot to see it I'm afraid. Don't worry parental units, it's PG)

So, now that it's safely Feb 15th, I thought it'd be a good time to explore further this concept of Valentine's Day as a High Femme Holy Holiday, something mentioned over on fetlife by a dear friend. She said:

"Leslie Feinberg once called Valentine's Day the High Holy Day of Femme. I like that on that day, women's feelings are supposed to count and get catered to."

Now, I really kind of like this idea. Yes, it's been fucked over by Hallmark, hence the whole "be my anti valentine" movement (which I also support with pleasure every year). But the idea that there's a day where women's feelings are focused on is kinda neat. I also liked the tongue-in-cheek concept of "steak and blowjob day", which is, to follow the metaphor, I suppose the yang to V Day's yin. It can, of course, be argued that it seems like MANY days are steak and blowjob day, as many men seem to like to think...

...unless of course the man in your life doesn't eat steak.

But I digress. Or do I?

There was an instant thought for me. If it's a Holy Day of Femme, is that just female femme, or a celebration of femme in general? I mean, men like flowers and chocolates as well, right? At least, the ones I've dated tend to. And I don't have enough digits to count how many women enjoy getting a steak and a blow job. Are flowers an indication of femme and steak an indication of butch? Are these symbols? Where does "cake and cunnilingus" day come into all this? Can't I just share a steak, a cake, and some flowers all at once to simplify matters? WHERE DOES THE MADNESS END

I would love for Feb 14th to become a day for me that celebrates femme in all its varieties. I think next year the boy shall pull out his femme side with me, figuring out how to love and honour femme in ourselves and others. I would also like there to be a day to celebrate butch, and genderqueering. Or fuck all of that, I'll just celebrate Lupercalia as my usual genderfuckery self.

Sublime Femme posts on her blog:

"Prof. Hipster and others who sneer at Valentine’s Day as ridiculous and sentimental can kiss my ass. For femmes, Valentine’s Day is a high holy day. But I think we’re often made to feel like our appreciation for the romance of the holiday makes us superficial. Like beauty and fashion, love and romance are trivialized in our culture because they are feminized. If these things mattered to men, I guarantee you that they’d all be as important as the Super Bowl."

So I have to sit and think. Yes, I like romance, and love, and affection, and appreciation. And I love a day that celebrates love. That said, I tend to date men who aren't afraid of romance, who see love like I do: beautiful, wild, a little scary and a little sexy. Is that femme? Is celebrating these generally considered "feminine" things encouraging the idea that they're feminine to begin with? And while I fully support a day that's all about women and what they want, does that invalidate/make invisible femme men and genderqueers?

Am I doing femme wrong again? Am I making this too complicated for myself?


Fuck this and give me my Lupercalia lashings already.

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