God, my blog has become really fucking SERIOUS over the past few months. Sorry, everyone, I've always been really intense and there's been a lot of things to write about that need saying. I promise, I've been having fun, too- some amazing sex, and fantastic dates, and adopting a new snake baby, and all sorts of cool things. Over Labour Day I'm going away to a cabin with my boyfriend and my best friend. I'm dating three amazing people who make me feel incredibly taken care of and loved and desired. It's kind of amazing.

But there's one sexyfuntime thing that I love the *idea* of doing but often find the practice incredibly intimidating. Yet pretty much every person I date, regardless of gender or power dynamic inclination, wants it from me.

And that's strapon sex.

I just performed in "Soft Girls and Strapons", the third volume in the Lesbian Curves DVD femmepire- but I was getting fucked with a strapon, not wearing one. There's a few reasons for this- it's hard for me to find a harness that fits and also works with my high femme style (though now I have the Bella which will help!), I worry that my thick thighs, lovely as they are, will block camera angles for filming especially when fucking someone smaller than me. But mainly? I'm worried I won't be fit enough, that while I can maintain a decent rhythm with my arms or my fingers, my ass just won't behave for a good solid pounding. I've never been much of a dancer.

I have my suspicions about why people want to feel my cock in their ass. I think they assume that being a fat woman, I probably can get a lot of power behind my thrusts (hahaha nope, well, ok, maybe). Maybe it makes them feel a little overwhelmed, and small, and taken care of in their way. Maybe the fact that I look like I could toss them around (whether or not that's true) also helps. Some of them have just been butt sluts, and probably ask everyone they bring home.

So when this cutie I've been having mindblowing PIV sex with asked if I might want to fuck his ass, I froze for a minute. "Oh yeah, sure!" I said brightly, while my heart sank a little. "I'd love to do that!" To be honest, I did want to, but I have this weird terror that when I meet a genuinely switchy guy, he's going to want me to fuck him in the ass once, then it'll become our Thing, and I'll never get the face-slapping, bruise-making, tit-spitting fucking I want again. But that seems ridiculous when I say it out loud, so I generally don't. And, more often than not, that's exactly what happens, like the submissive version of the guys who only call themselves "dominant" because then they can get their dick sucked. Boring.

Anyway that was why I was hesitant to say anything and voice my fears- what if he didn't like me anymore? He's pretty fit, so I sometimes have pangs that my... well, not-up-at-7-am-jogging body is a novelty or something.

But this time I stopped my paranoia and silenced my headweasels, because I like this guy, and he's a professional, and I didn't want to lie. He probably had lithe athletes drilling him in the past, and I wanted to make sure his expectations were up to speed. So, heart fluttering, I confessed I was nervous about my abilities, that it had been a while and I wasn't sure how fit I was, if I could really do it properly. I was worried about getting a leg cramp or something.

I didn't need to worry. While I, being a traditionalist, expected I'd be fucking him from behind, he had other plans. He laid me down so I was on my back, and then lowered himself onto my cock. This was like a revelation, as I got to pump my hips a little but mostly watch his face contort in the most beautiful ways while he gyrated on my dildo. It was pretty amazing, and easy on my body. But, it feels less like you're doing the fucking, and more like you're a fancy living sex toy (which I can get into, but a little interaction is nice).

So the next time we tried fucking from behind, and it was everything I dreaded. I couldn't get the rhythm right, and didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like if I was fucked the way I was performing, I wouldn't sleep with me again. Bummer. I feel like this is the position I see the most often in porn, especially for pegging, but it was just the least appealing for me in many ways.

But oh. Oh man. Then we did missionary style. Now, I love missionary fucking on myself- it's a classic, why mess with it? But holy shit wearing a strap on and fucking a guy missionary style is kind of incredible. I felt most connected to my dick in that moment, and there was something about making out while I thrust that was just... amazing. It made me want to try fucking this way again, to see if it was a fluke or if that's really just the best position for me to have strapon sex in. It felt right, and I enjoyed it. My anxiety was gone, and I didn't even feel tired after!

Now, I will say this. For me to use a strapon, it's never going to rub against my clit.  Every harness I've ever owned requires mounting the dildo over my pubic mound instead. Granted, considering the bruising I sustained from the hard fucking we did, that's probably just as well! I'm probably going to get one of those pads. Or maybe I'll use his underwear ( steal a pair every time I see him, might as well put them to use).  I was pleased that my tummy didn't get in the way!

So between strapon fucking and lube wrestling, I now have two good reasons to start working out more intensely. Upper body strength for the wrestling, and lower body strength for... well, a different kind of grappling. ;)

Now to work on anal fisting...

What're your favourite tips and tricks for strapon sex? Do you find your rolls get in the way?

Learn how to pick your strap on here, and how to use it here!
I also have a video about fat strap on sex at Passionate U. My evil ex is in it, but nm, it's still good advice.
Get some fat sex tips here!