Out in London, I had a friend.

I don't honestly recall how I met her, but she was really neat. Intelligent, curious, fun to be around, go shopping with, get coffee with... just a really lovely girl.

She wanted to get into pro Domming again. She had done it before, but wanted to give it a go again in London. So I introduced her to some people, taught her some stuff, showed her the ropes, so to speak.

It wasn't long before she was getting way more bookings than I was... something I tried and still try not to be jealous of but am, terribly. She'd get contacted more often for media stuff, she'd get the bookings, if we did doubles the clients would always pick her again. And when we worked in the same place, slowly I saw her work bookings bypass mine, first by a little, then a lot...

There's a part of me that knows exactly why. For all that I love the work I do, she's excellent at showing her disgust for the submissives she sees. I'm not. I really care about my clients, and want to help them expand and explore the world of kink. I think she doesn't mind that, but she also tends to find the guys she sees kinda naff. Which, fair enough, you know? And guys totally seem to get off on being slapped by a woman who hates to touch them. Fucked up? Oh yes...

And the other thing is... she's slender. Slender girls do better in the sex trade. I don't do poorly, over there, but not as well as I might do had I been born into a family where a size 10 comes easily. I didn't. My family is on the zaftig side. And I don't normally care, but...

I hope I get a chance to really shine in this profession, even if I'm not a size 10. Because I have passion for this business, I really do. And I want to succeed. I want to please my clients and I want to continually up my game. I want my clients to leave me feeling better about themselves.

And I want to be successful enough to not feel envy grip my heart when I see her. I want to be able to be glad she's doing well instead of feeling competitive. And I still like her, though we barely talk anymore. I wonder, in a way, if introducing her into this business meant that I lost her as a friend...

I hope not.