I'm sitting in Soho at Sh's flat, snuggled into a bed that's an oasis of warmth in an otherwise cold room. It's sort of strange, really, as I haven't been here overnight since that last horrible night in January, before I flew back to California- he's letting me stay while he visits his girlfriend abroad. I keep feeling weird twinges of nostalgia mixed with maybe a touch of regret and some loneliness- it feels so comfortable and familiar and yet somehow so distant. So much tenderness, and trust was exchanged here... but also so much strife, so many tears. And yet here I am, like none of it happened, yet with the weight of that history hitting me like a brick.
Anyway, Sh left me a note and told me to watch "The Godfather"- something I've never seen but always meant to, and tonight it just seemed strangely appropriate. Something about how the police can be bribed to harass certain people and not others, maybe...?
Tonight there's a debate about whether or not a Crime and Policing bill should go through here in the UK that will make being a client one step closer to being complicated and illegal... a strong arm, indirect way to make my work harder and less enjoyable. When you make aspects of sex work illegal, it doesn't stop it from happening- it just makes it easier to exploit the people who are going to be doing it anyway. In addition, it's going to change the permits so that stripping will need an adult establishment license instead of an entertainment one- again, going to make it harder for sex workers in the hope that it improves public safety somehow.
"they are fired by the belief that all sex work is an affront to female dignity (they say little or nothing about men who sell sex). It follows that no woman would sell sex unless she was forced to do so. Ergo, all prostitutes are forced into their work, ergo trafficked. Those who say otherwise (the English Collective of Prostitutes, the International Union of Sex workers) are so brutalised by their work that they know not what they say. To wipe out trafficking we have to wipe out prostitution, by making it illegal for men to buy sex from women who are "controlled for gain". And that's what the policing and crime bill is trying to do.
Who is controlled for gain? Anyone who uses a booking agent. Not pop stars or after-dinner speakers or concert pianists, of course. Just any sex worker with a booking agent. Anyone who shares the rent on a flat with someone else in the trade. Practically anyone who isn't working in absolute isolation, where she is most vulnerable to assault and least accessible to support services. Obviously, forcing women to work alone makes the legal activity of selling sex a much more dangerous business.
Under the new bill, a punter is at fault even if he didn't know the vendor was "controlled", so anyone who buys sex, even from someone who says he or she is working voluntarily, is at risk if she later turns out to have been sharing a flat, for instance. Right now, punters provide the police with most of their tips about sex workers who are potentially coerced or underage. But if reporting your suspicions might land you in jail yourself, you're going to be a lot less forthcoming. Obviously, then, criminalising men who buy sex will make it harder to find and help the small number of women who are genuinely forced or terrorised into selling sex."
Last night I sent out a bunch of emails to the various people debating this bill in the hopes that, with enough voices from people affected maybe we can overturn this, or at least encourage the politicians to ask a few more questions. But I worry. I worry because of the number of people who make out my clients to be the sorts of guys who want to buy a woman because of some ownership fantasy. That's just not my experience. Sure, I bet it happens, don't get me wrong... but the clients I have aren't evil. They're just guys who want a woman who enjoys what they enjoy, that they find attractive, and they're happy to give her some money for her time and expertise. Skills for money- it's not shady, it's a trade, and as I have the right to say no, it's one I have control over. Making it more illegal means making it rougher trade.
So, House of Lords... I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.
Keep your morals out of my bedroom, help me stay safe by allowing me to work with other women instead of alone, allow me to tell the police if I have an issue...
...and I'll pay your taxes.
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