beauty in the breakdown

It's been a while since I've blogged consistently here. It's been a period of change, hardcore- personal development on speed, mostly, relationship processing and reprocessing, acclimating to the Bay Area and the ridiculousness to be had here... and really internalizing that while communicating and doing hard work on yourself is important, it's also important to let go and have fun, because therein lies change and development too. Like this sock puppet party- photo courtesy Matt G.

It's interesting to be back when most of my friends are coupled up, living together, getting married, having kids. As far as relationships are concerned here, I'm pretty single, which is actually a kinda nice place to be. There's no one I can assume I'll be seeing on Valentine's Day, no one I'll see every weekend- it's all open, for me to go out or stay in as I see fit. Lots of personal time. People will be shocked to know I've been sticking to my guns and being celibate for the last two weeks- yup, it CAN happen! And I'm enjoying snuggles and hugs more because of the lack of expectation.

I'm excited for my return to the UK- I want to go back to work, and I miss my friends and play partners back there. Setting up plans to be with my fiance, making plans for some fun playful scenes with the chickadee, and I'm planning to set up a party with T that will challenge the British "stiff upper lip" bullshit, we'll see how that goes. It's all radio silence with TB for the time being, but hey, there's plenty more fish in the sea if we run out of men. Either it'll sort itself or it won't. And I mean, I miss my clients, I miss doing what I love. i miss being somewhat respected. Here... well... it's just not the same. The work is crap. The clients are dicks.

Oh, England. I'm coming back. I miss you. SF is cool, but... we're just not meant to be, y'know?

Be the first to comment

Post a comment