also: question: has escorting changed you?

This was a question posted on one of my favorite forums: has escorting changed you, personality-wise?

Yes, I think it has. Mostly in good ways.

Sexually: yes, I've changed. I've become more confident, better at saying "I like it when you do this" and "no, don't do that, try this way", and better at holding to my boundaries. I'm much better at saying no. I'm also better at saying when something is uncomfortable for me. Because of all that, I've become stronger and more playful with roleplay and other adventurous sexual behaviors, because I know better what I will like and not like. I've also realized I like some things with some people, and that's ok- it doesn't have to be all or nothing with my sweeties or my clients.

Emotionally: I'm waaaay more stable. Maybe it's partially financial independence, partially growing a bit older, and partially being in a stable relationship. I feel better able to tell what my emotional needs are, when I need to take time out, when I need support and when I need time alone. I think selling of my time has helped me to figure out what I get out of those encounters, if they drain or charge me, and what I would then need from my sweeties to make myself feel energized and healthy. I'm generally way more chill. I still struggle to not personalize my encounters as much (I really put myself into my sessions and it can be hard sometimes to keep professional boundaries, or to recognize what those are for myself, like in disclosing my personal life), but I'm learning to be more professional and the more I know my boundaries the better able I am to give of myself fully, within those constraints. Also, I love my body in a way I never did before!

Personality: I think I laugh more. I still worry about money sometimes, and I push myself pretty hard, but I also feel confident. I think it shows. I feel like an adult, and people comment on how mature I am, but at the same time I don't think I've lost a sense of humor or fun. I've... well, aged, maybe, like a delicious blue cheese. ::laughs:: And I'm WAY less melodramatic!!! WAY less. And less depressed. Less anxious too. I feel very in control of my life, in a non-psychotic way. :)

Basically, I feel more myself in every sense. I feel generally very fulfilled. Sometimes I get frustrated at timewasters or feeling like people judge me about my work, but it helps me to cultivate compassion and loving kindness. It's been a struggle, and a meditation, but I feel better now that I ever have, and I think my job has helped with that.

I will add that the nature of my job sometimes leads me to need snuggle time that's not sexual, though I find that happens less and less. I was struggling last year with PTSD around past sexual abuse, and it would have been impossible for me then to be doing what I do now. But taking it slowly, and treating myself with compassion and respect, choosing the clients with care and having lovely sweeties that take good care of me and understand, has led me to become a stronger, happier, more sexually fulfilled person. And that's true for both escorting and Domming.

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