airports are my new home

So I just dropped the boy off at the airport after a whirlwind week of porn shoots, fundraising, acid trips and fancy costumes. It was incredible. Typically I spend the time with him at home, curled up for a lot of quality time- this trip was a lot more running about experiencing stuff!

Just a bit of the list-
-went with the boy and Penny to Edwardian Ball all weekend
-invited a British musician I really enjoy to Kinky Salon SF
-filmed for Kink Academy, twice
-ate sushi off giggly boy flesh
-got to spend multiple playdates with both my sweeties, inc. a jacuzzi tub
-rode a bicycle merry-go-round
-filmed a hot forced diaper scene for Pampered Penny 
-had an epic acid trip and discovered my next life steps
-watched the boy interview at Kink
-ate vegan soul food and it is AMAZING

-had lots of hot sex

-watched the boy get his first tattoo
-threw a consent culture fundraiser with Maggie Mayhem and made almost $600
-played darts at the local pub
-did some geocaching
-watched MLP
-saw dolphins in Santa Cruz

But what was really fantastic was this.

So, the boy and I were engaged a while ago. He proposed to me on one knee at a castle in Whitstable, and it was beautiful.

Then we hit some incredibly rocky terrain, and we weren't sure if we were going to make it through that- the engagement was off, at least until trust had been regained. And, to be honest, part of the engagement had been about a pressure to symbolize our commitment to each other when we were in two different countries. We almost broke up. It was pretty awful.

But we worked hard. And while we made it through that, the engagement was still off.

Until Thursday. Thursday, while the boy and I snuggled in bed, chatting and reflecting and nuzzling each other, he suddenly turned to me and said how grateful he was that I came into his life, bringing the Elements of Harmony (we're MLP geeks, sue us). And he presented me with a ring. Not just any ring- he got this special for me, a white gold puzzle ring, bigger than the one he got me as a promise ring, and really lovely. He asked me if I would marry him, and I said yes.

Then, in true us fashion, we had some kinky, filthy sex to seal the deal.

It's hard to say goodbye. Every single time I bawl and my heart feels broken for a while. The first night in bed without him is going to be awful- it always is. But we're learning how to survive without each other- a lesson in wanting, not needing. And I would rather have my heart crushed every time I say goodbye to him for a few months than avoid the pain and be without him in my life.

I'm a little obsessed with The Little Prince. It's always been one of my favourite books, and one day the boy will have a fox tattoo to correspond with mine, the last scene of the story. I highly recommend you read the chapter about the exchange between the Little Prince and the Fox, because it is a beautiful metaphor for love and letting go. There's one quote from it I've always loved- "It's only with the heart that one can see rightly- that which is essential is invisible to the eye". I also love this quote by the author, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, that describes love well to me- "For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow." How beautiful is that?

But Saint-Exupery had another quote that sums up my love for the boy, and my gladness to be with him-

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction."

I'm glad to be looking outward with him. <3

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