our romantic poem

I'm not terribly maternal. It's not something I'm particularly proud of- my lack of cuddlyness and nurturing has upset lovers in the past. I just didn't grow up in a touchy-feely family and didn't really have touchy-feely friends. I can warm up into snuggly behaviour, but it takes a little while and I have to be determined to get there- it doesn't come altogether naturally.

I've wondered if that might be one of my issues around being the caregiver in ageplay scenarios- so, after reading Penny's book on the subject, I decided to try taking the boy to the Natural History Museum on a "littles day out", with me as the caregiver.

I figured that going to the museum would give me things to do, and there were exhibits I particularly wanted to see- the Sexual Nature exhibit and the Sensational Butterflies, so I figured this would be a good way to please us both in a way that would be fun and not too overwhelming for me. I know I'm prone to biting off more than I can chew when it comes to kink!

It started when I diapered him- spreading a towel over the bed, sliding the diaper under his ass (Hello Kitty, of course), wiping him down with baby wipes before lotioning and powdering him. I gave him an octopus toy to play with and a pirate pacifier- he does look terribly cute when his eyes get all wide and trusting. I was a mix of emotions- excited, nervous, a little uncertain. I helped him dress, his diaper bulging his jean shorts out a little, patted him on the bum, made sure we had some sandwiches packed, and we were off.

Unfortunately I had a few emails to deal with which took me out of headspace and not focusing on him... much like how I imagine I'll be as a real parent. ::sigh:: It took some self-control to put the phone away and enjoy the rest of our outing! I did, though, after some ranting which he patiently listened to.

We decided to check out the butterflies first, and I loved seeing them flitting around, their brightly coloured wings like flower petals in a breeze. I used to raise butterflies as a child, and I've always been fond of them. I guess I have a lot of affinity for any creature that represents metamorphosis! They're so delicate, as well, and fascinating with their curled proboscis... yeah, massive fan of fluttery butterflies. Yay!

After that we ate our sandwiches, apples and crisps, the boy ran around in the sun a bit, and we headed into the Sexual Nature exhibit, which was really cool. First off there was a lot of Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno and Seduce Me videos, both of which I really love (oh, btw, my female Green Porno name is Candy Clam, my male one is Colt Cauliflower, how about you?). If you haven't seen them, may I recommend the cuttlefish Seduce Me..?

Anyway, there was also a lot of examples of various animal penises, and animals mating, and we learned a lot of interesting new things. Highly recommended, and perfect for our naughty ageplay outing as it was interesting for us both!

Then we explored this other exhibit about human biology that must've been made in the 80's, as representations of computers and ideas about gender were really old fashioned! Some of the exhibits in there were downright creepy. The boy kind of remembered them from his own childhood, which was interesting.

Finally I realized I was pretty drained- not sure why, but definitely felt tired. I used my end-the-scene sentence- "o put on your big boy pants now"- and he did (though getting rid of a diaper in the men's room isn't that easy, considering they don't have diaper bins there, how gendered is that?). Then we went for cupcakes and tea, and went home for some adult time. Even though I burned out at the end, I think it's something I could try again. Maybe next time it'd help to have another "adult" figure with me.

All in all, it was fun. I've come to terms with the fact that I really prefer being a little girl, as the boy is better at being nurturing than I am, but I think I might have a better time being a Bad Mummy or maybe a Daddy figure to him. We'll see. Exploring is a good way to work it out!