There's this show on ABC, called "What Would You Do?" where the idea is to see how people react to ethical choices. There's been a few now, like what would you do if service was refused to gay parents, or if a manager was sexually harassing a worker of his. The one that got to me was the situation of "would you help a battered woman"... and "would you help a provocatively dressed battered woman".

The difference between the reactions received, depending on *how she was dressed*- not his abusive behaviour, which stayed the same, but on her *clothing choices alone*- is just appalling. And disgusting.

To sum up for you- when the actress was dressed in jeans and a teeshirt, whether a Caucasian or African-American couple, people came to her aid, telling the boyfriend to back off and calling the police. When she was dressed in a low cut dress (or a dress at all, mind- one of the dresses was actually rather modest as well), however, no one did, even when he was physically abusive, nearby women whispering to themselves that maybe she was a prostitute.

Oh, of course! Because THEN violence in public is totally ok! If you're a sex worker, then abuse in public is par for the course, you can't expect people to get involved- I mean, it's none of their business, right?

"The reaction from the onlookers is both hopeful and discouraging.  In the scenarios where both the Caucasian “girlfriend” and the African-American “girlfriend” are dress conservatively, other diners appear concerned for the abused woman and offer to help her right away, ultimately confronting the abusive “boyfriend.” But, in the other two scenarios, both the Caucasian and African-American “girlfriends” who are dressed provocatively, do not get any assistance from the other diners in the restaurant.  In the video it is clear that the diners are bothered by what they are seeing, but their concern, surprisingly, is not for the safety of the “girlfriend,” but for the dignity of the couple.  Some diners even mention to the couple that they are embarrassing themselves." -from this Women's Center blog

I noticed in the comments that some women pointed out that, in an abusive situation, they might not have control over what they wear- which is a fair point as well, though it kind of smacks of "you should try to help me anyway, because I'm NOT a whore, I'm a good girl in a bad situation".  I also want to point out that the conversation between the actors, in the "provocative dress" situation, never said anything about her being a sex worker- rather, about whether what she was wearing was appropriate in public. Other people decided to interpret that as her being a hooker, and behaved accordingly.

Let me break this down for you, real slow.

No woman deserves to be abused. I don't care what they do in their personal life. I don't care how they're dressed. No woman deserves to be abused. EVER.

Got it?

I notice this a lot- no one really wants to talk about it, but there is an underlying attitude that some women are to be protected, and others are not. As part of the unprotected class, I want to point out this is EXACTLY why we need prostitution to be decriminalized or legalized- because no, we can't depend on other people to help us, and having some safety, however flawed and fucked up that can be from the police, is vital.

One woman felt so guilty about it afterwards, too. "I could've done more", she said. Well, sure. You could've. You saw the bruises. You saw him GRAB HER BY THE FUCKING HAIR. A middle aged couple of women asked to be moved, and said "she looks like she might be a prostitute, and he's her pimp" as if that justifies it. I could've thrown up I was so angry when one couple who witnessed this said "yeah, it would be better if that happened in private". Really. Because then it wouldn't offend your delicate sensibilities on how the world works, I guess. WTF.

Days like this I hate the world, I truly do.

I'm telling you, right now- she never deserves it.  And if you sit back and watch and do nothing, not even call 911? You are complacent in her abuse and should rot in hell.