(photos by the talented and lovely Benjy Feen)

I've been in swinger spaces before. They had made me very, very aware that I, a queer fat kinkster, was not One of Them- not by anything they said, mind, but what they did and how they did it. Swingers, in my experience, came in two flavours- young, gorgeous, and well-off, or older, lechy, and very, very heterosexual. I decided pretty early on that the world of swingers was not for me.

Then, a cute friend of mine (blogger One Hot Crumpet) from London asked what was going at my fave play space Mission Control (birthplace of Kinky Salon, one of which I co-founded in London) while she was here, only a week of time. I looked at the calendar and discovered that the main event was Kiss... a swinger party. I turned the thought over in my head. Yes, I hadn't felt like I belonged in these spaces before- I had been turned off by the rules against boy-on-boy while encouraging girl-on-girl, and really disliked the way that men at these parties had looked at me... a challenge, or, more often, a conquest. And of course I get annoyed at the "we like single women but not single men" policies at such places, though it's sadly unavoidable that the "unicorn" is a sexy, bisexual woman who puts out for couples for a reason (namely, socialization that restricts male sexuality while pushing female, but nevermind).

But, it was in a space I consider very much a home, and this is San Francisco, and, I argued to myself, it was free- a winning combination for a broke ass ho such as myself. Plus, I knew that Mission Control now had a dungeon space with some equipment in it... so I figured I could make it work. If femme-on-femme action was what people I expected, I could give that- in my own way, of course, and on my terms. I'll admit I grinned a bit wolfishly to myself as I packed my Joque harness and, of course, a sparkly silver dildo. It matched my dress, a black jersey-but-glam number with a large rhinestone snake holding court in the middle of my cleavage. A dressy jacket, stockings, leather gloves and short heeled boots completed my outfit- possibly one of the most high femme getups I've worn in a long time.

I picked OHC up from the place she was staying and whisked her away to get ice cream at my favourite place- Humphrey Slocombe. We chatted over scoops of Secret Breakfast before landing a parking space right by the venue in record time. I'm often grateful for my parking karma... I don't know what god I've appeased to manage such perfect spots so often, but I need to figure that shit out!

I hoisted my big bag of kit- a paddle, some cuffs, matched recycled rubber floggers, the dildo, some nonlatex condoms, and a bottle of Babeland lube- over my shoulder and we got to MC. Up the stairs, we checked in about 10 minutes early. Thankfully being a regular to the space meant I could persuade the hostess to let me show OHC around before everyone got there. MC is a gorgeous space, perfect for sexy parties, and I wanted to make sure she got to see it all thoroughly.

My first surprise was in the room off the bar, which was playing porn. I was pleased to see a scene with Madison Young and Dylan Ryan, though I couldn't figure out what dvd it was at the time (and still can't work it out!). Later I saw Jiz Lee as well onscreen, which was a nice sight for someone expecting girl-on-girl porn instead of queer porn. My heart did a little dance of yay. My second surprise was that I was not the only person packing that night! I noticed right away this cute butch who was wearing a nice cock under her trousers. I was thrilled that I wasn't the only queer at the party- that swinger didn't have to mean heterosexual after all. And my third surprise? The people were lovely. I didn't have a single guy pester me or push my boundaries. I flirted gently and was gently flirted with back. The people were pretty sexy. I mean, ok, I did roll my eyes at the fact that women dressed up and men mostly didn't (at least not to the same extent) but it was a hell of a lot better than anticipated.

With a bit of champers in my blood, I invited OHC into the dungeon room for a bit of a warm up. We've kissed before (at the John Snow kiss-in, when I was in clown), and discussed a play date, but this was our first actual play date and I wanted to start off slow. Being a bit of a sadist, the way to get my cunt wet is to let me loose with some toys on some willing naked skin- so I bent OHC over a spanking bench and gave her a nice warmup with my hands and my cat-shaped paddle. Initially, there was only a couple of friends in there- then slowly people began to trickle in, until there was a bit of a crowd. I was pleased to have gotten the kinky party started, though I ended up taking OHC away when a man nearby was a bit uncontrolled with his flogger. She seemed happy and glowy, and my Beast was clawing away for more, so after some chat I took her back into the room and attached her to the St Andrews Cross.

She had said something about really enjoying the flogging she had experienced before, so I brought my trusty rubber floggers which maintain a nice balance between stingy and thuddy. I started with her back, one flogger rhythmically smacking each shoulder at a time, before warming up her ass a little. I checked in to see how she was, and got a dreamy "mmhmm" so pulled my other flogger out.

That's when I entered Top space. I felt amazing, letting my floggers fly, one than the other hitting her shoulders, then her ass, than her shoulders, until I had built her up enough for some more intense flogging. Sadism is a bit like a trance I enter, where there's nothing and noone that matters but my submissive and I, the sound of toy against flesh and little whimpers. It really, really turns me on, like nothing else really. If anyone stands between me and mine at that time I feel sure my Beast would growl. I am fiercely protective of my meat. No one got too close, or was disrespectful, though, so I enjoyed myself in peace.

Eventually I took OHC down for some petting and some water. She was a bit glazed over, which made me pleased. At this point the dungeon space was busy, too, which also pleased me, like we had given them permission to try it out. We met some more people, and sat for a while, until I knew it was time and got out my harness and my dildo.

I had started my period so knew I was going to be a stone femme tonight, which was ok with me. It helps me to focus. I strapped on my cock to some appreciating eyes and took her into the Pink room... where I had lost my own Mission Control virginity so many years ago. Up she went, onto the bed, and I played with her nipples, drinking in each little gasp. I slid my hand into a glove, lubed it up, and rolled my fingers across her clit. She was already slick but I enjoyed making her wait a bit. The G-Ki added to her moans and writhing, until at last I rolled a nonlatex condom over my cock and fucked her silly. Again, there was nothing and no one but us in that moment, and I watched her face as she flushed. It was beautiful.

We snuggled for a little while afterwards, giggling and wrapping our arms around each other. It was late by then, and time for bed, so I drove her home, her scent still on my skin. I slept more soundly than I have in days.

I've struggled a lot with polyamory over the years. I no longer identify as poly, though possibly nonmonogamous. I always fought with myself over the idea that I might actually enjoy swinging. I think what always held me back is the idea that "men switch wives"- it's not a switching of partners so much as it's a switching of properly in some of these places. But at Kiss I felt like I could belong there. Perhaps not all the time, but I could visit and feel right at home. It was a fantastic night, and one I'll remember fondly for quite some time.

You can read OHC's account here!