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"slut"

I'm sad that I won't be around to make it to Slutwalk London, but I was really surprised to see some of the responses on the wall for the event. "This will accomplish nothing", "who needs to be told that rape is bad" and "I don't feel comfortable with the word 'slut'".

I don't think these people are quite getting it.

Female sexuality is still demonized. We still struggle with societal judgments about our sexualities EVERY FUCKING DAY. Let me give you a brief example:

-Women having condoms somewhere visible in their houses (including a drawer!) are "tacky" according to will.i.am
-The Long Island Killer is exclusively targeting sex workers so far- and police are not being overly helpful about responding to calls or protecting them- and the killer might even be an ex-police officer (it's worth pointing out that he's being called "a real life Dexter", which suggests that sex workers would be considered "bad people" as per the show)
-Do I need to link to the myriad examples of slut shaming being used to discredit rape victims? Because I can, because it happens a lot, in many different ways
-We confuse kids by holding up idealized, objectified female sexuality as a trophy and a goal (and offering mini steps to that goal) while simultaneously scolding girls for sexual behaviour and smiling indulgently at boys for sexual behaviour (well, as long as it's not gay)
-Porn WikiLeaks is slut shaming on a massive level that not only impacts people doing porn now, but have done it in the past and put it behind them
-Women have risked having their kids taken away, marriages ended, and firing from their jobs for blogging candidly about sex online if they're not anonymous- and if they are, they risk being harassed by media into coming out
-Leaving the house, whether you're wearing a burqa or a short skirt, jeans or sweats, will involve being harassed by men in all likelihood no matter where in the world you are- maybe verbal, maybe physical

Obviously, people DO still need to be told rape is bad. Including other women, which should be a surprise but isn't. And people still need to be told that no matter how you dress or act, and no matter your environment, no means no, consent can be withdrawn, and no one EVER "deserves it".

That's why SlutWalk is important, as a movement, whether or not you self-identify as a slut. Because, especially if you're a female, if someone wants to make you feel shitty about yourself, discredit you, or victim-blame, you will become a "slut" to someone else. And isn't that the whole point of this? That unfortunately, when it comes to the word slut, you don't have to call yourself a slut to be called a slut in society's eyes. Whether or not you are a slut is not, actually, up to you.

Getting together, as a group, to support each other and to visually and verbally say "we will not take this anymore" DOES do something. It gets media attention, for a start, which puts pictures and words out there that can act as a comfort to someone isolated who has been attacked and feels alone and guilty. It combats slut shaming. That makes a difference.

Whatever your gender, wherever you are, I encourage you to join SlutWalk.

Because as long as "slut" can be used as duct tape to silence women, sex workers like myself are in particular danger.

And really? No one is safe.

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