There are little ways he turns me on more than anything.

Like when we spent a good hour or so giggling at the most random things, like the creaking of the sign outside his flat, and as we wiped tears from our eyes I complained that now how would I get the fucking I wanted? and he said I could wake him up in the middle of the night.

I could. I've even done it before. And he's happy to interrupt his sleep, to stroke me the way I want while his sleepy lips meet mine- or at least, if he isn't, he hasn't said anything against it yet. I love the feeling as he begins to wake up more and more, the feel of his cock, hard, pressing against my thigh. Sometimes I wish I had a cock so I could express that desire that succinctly. Instead I wrap my legs around his, press myself against his thigh, let my fingers twine in his hair before pulling him to me with it.

Or how, afterwards, when it's cold and I want tea but I don't want to get out of bed, he'll go to the kettle, naked, and make it happen. For me. How I only told him once how I like it, and he remembers.

Sometimes, it's too much. I feel like the Beast is clawing to come out and I'm not sure if I can keep her at bay, or if I even want to. And what makes it all more edgy (and more exciting) is that as my Beast advances, he dances back, urging me on. I think he enjoys playing with fire, as long as we think we can put it out. He's not like normal prey, scared, or hiding- rather, he's loping away, looking over his shoulder as if to say "bet you can't catch me". He's daring me. And that turns me on incredibly and completely.

While we don't use collars in our play often, I find myself touching him in public, almost to remind myself he's really there. I rest my hand on the small of his back and it's all I can do not to grab him to me. It makes time spent not playing into foreplay.

I had begun to feel so jaded and underwhelmed by kink... and he comes along and makes it fresh again. I swear I keep looking over my soft limits (and his) for what to break next.