But sometimes it DOES. Sometimes it isn't unreasonable. Trust cane be broken, gut feelings can be right, and your lover's new crush can mean you're relegated to the sidelines. It happens. And it's so frustrating to see poly or nonmonogamous people struggling with these things being told over and over to suck it up because the green eyed monster is some reflection of their own personal failings. FUCK THAT NOISE.

I also want to mention that books like the "Ethical Slut" and "Opening Up", long considered poly bibles, actually tell you just that- jealousy is perfectly natural and ok to feel, and you shoudn't have to feel like it's something to get over, rather, it's something to address. I'm all about personal work, but it's also on your partner to make sure you feel as safe as they can. Or, they should let you go, if what you need to feel safe isn't something they can provide.

In addition, and I kind of mentioned this in another post- with monogamy, it's very clear cut. Your partner loses your trust, and it's simple- to gain it back, they don't do the thing they did to lose it- like, say, sleeping with or making out with someone else. Easy enough to tell when the rules have been broken. With poly, though, if I don't trust the boy going on a date with someone because he hasn't communicated honestly about the intentions of this date, how do I then tell when he's followed or broken that rule? And more to the point, it's a lot harder to feel safe when you have to put your lover in the exact situation they fucked up before and hope they don't fuck it up again! When poly trust is broken, it's like dealing with all the issues of infidelity, knowing they will be practicing infidelity again, just maybe better this time (granted, I'm bitter right now, so that's my bias).

Because, to be honest, a lot more people claim to be poly than actually have the ethical responsibility for polyamory. A lot of people use it to justify manipulative behaviors and cheating. They bend or break rules and whine 'but we're poly, we shouldn't need rules". It's bullshit and it really angers me. 

Anyway. Carry on.