Ok, guys, look. I understand you want a Girlfriend Experience. I understand that you want to suspend disbelief for an hour or two when you come to see me. I even understand that you *want* me to cum during our session (though I do try to clarify with you that I'll be honest, and that may or may not happen).

But one thing that is definitely Not Ok is for you to feel that you can then give me the Boyfriend Experience. You cannot skimp on showering. You cannot ask me for unprotected sexual play. You can't change the negotiations around after you've shown up. You definitely cannot schedule an appointment and think it's acceptable for you to not call and not show up. I'm not booking you as a boyfriend, where I might tolerate some of these things sometimes (don't get ideas, Mr Primary or TB- though to be fair you're both excellent) . You are, ultimately, a client. And I'm a professional.

One thing that really drives me crazy about being a sex worker is that my time is somehow considered less valuable than the time of the people I work with. For any other job, a deposit would be expected for the time being set aside- in fact, there would likely be a cancellation fee if you couldn't make it. But in sex work, if you ask for that you're looked at with suspicion, like you'll run off with the money. Some girls might, I'm sure. But in exchange, I end up booking appointments and, well, respecting them. I don't double book. So when he doesn't call and doesn't show, I've wasted time I could've spent with someone who would actually treat me like a professional.

I say treat me like a professional because the temptation is to say treat me with respect. TB pointed out however that by saying that, I'm taking it personally, and in order for this job to not take its toll I can't personalize the cancellations. Shit happens, but ultimately they're going to treat me like a professional or they won't, and I should be responding to them in that way. He's right when he says I let myself get sucked in.

I've asked around and taking deposits is possible but will definitely turn a lot more men off. I don't know if that's a good idea. My girlfriend suggested I take booking deposits to guarantee availability... but again, I think in the world of sex work guys just would refuse. Which pisses me off. See, if people saw this as a JOB then it would be ok, but because it's apparently a hobby or something else, it's harder to demand guarantees. Argh!

Anyway, I'm ranting because yesterday was initially a wash. It got better. And the next day looks good too. It's just one of those things that may eventually make me want to stop working. I want some sort of stability.