I was reading the Queer Fat Femme's blog, and came across this:
"Backstage at Cupcake Cabaret, World Famous *BOB* told a story about how a (now former) beau had called her high maintenance.
'I called my drag mom and asked if she thought I was high maintenance. She said ‘Of course you are but you maintain yourself. You’re like a classic car, if someone is going to drive a 66 Caddy they will. If they want a Honda they should drive a Honda.'"
I thought this was basically brilliant. I don't know if I'm necessarily high maintenance, though I'm pretty sure I need regular service (not like that, you pervs). If you want quality you better expect to be offering up quality back- for the smooth ride of a BMW you're going to pay top dollar for the parts, after all. Discussing this with a friend on FB, he said "you take effort- you make effort a pleasure". I think that's not too bad a thing, myself. But, though I am femme and take effort, I don't think that being femme = high maintenance. I think generally being human around other humans = maintenance, and the value judgment of "high" or "low" depends entirely on your tolerance levels.
For example, I tend to prefer girls who are emotional, kind of dramatic, creative, slightly unstable... off-kilter, say. And by "prefer" I mean "almost exclusively date". But that, for me, isn't particularly high maintenance. People who are emotionally void/unavailable are higher maintenance, because I have to drag out of them how they feel and what their needs are all the time. And those women are femme and butch, and blends in between. Now, why, statistically, I balance that with men who are practically autistic, I don't know (though that trend is changing as I look at the men I have as friends in my life now- Syph, say, or Gout).
I'm going to say something crazy and suggest that people seem high maintenance if you don't accept them for how they are. If they make unreasonable demands often, are troublesome or difficult, very particular, have constant high (unrealistic) expectations, and are quick to reject someone if they can't maintain your standards (esp if unwilling to discuss or compromise), that's not high maintenance- it's just self-centred.
To maintain something is to care for it, to keep it in good working order- to sustain it. Isn't that something we all desire? And don't we want that offered to us at the highest quality possible? I certainly strive to maintain those I care about as well as I possibly can.
What does high maintenance mean to you? What's the difference between high maintenance and melodramatic?
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