california... dreamin', or nightmare?

It just sort of struck me that it's getting close to my due date. No, not pregnancy, I don't do anything kinky like vanilla sex! I mean the possibility of moving back to California.

In some ways I'm eager for it. I enjoyed the weather, and I miss my friends, and Kinky Salon. I miss the queerness of SF as well. And my grandma, of course!

But in other ways, I'm not. I love the transit here, even when it sucks- it's still better than California. And I don't miss the drama... or how sex work is illegal. And I genuinely feel in love with London the city- the oldness of bits of it really resonates with me.

The biggest draw here though is the sex work. It's lucrative, it's fun, and I'm something unique here in a way I'm just run-of-the-mill back in California. The punters treat me like a goddess instead of a slut, too, which I enjoy. I leave my sessions feeling empowered, sexy, and desirable, while that happened much less in California. I felt more often like a cum spittoon when I was there. Again, I think it being illegal has a lot to do with how I was treated. Here... I feel like I can change people's minds, give them pleasure they never imagined. It's different, here.

I don't know. I mean, on some level, I won't have a choice- if C leaves, I leave, as I can't stay here without his income as a support government-visa-wise. I'm such a Capricorn- I want something solid to hold onto! Ah well. Deep breaths, and going with the flow...

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