disclaimer- I am a woman. I talk about my menses. If you have a problem with women's menses, well, you should probably go gay, because WTF, we have to smell your balls.

::ahem::

Dating Mr Primary, I ended up with this habit called "the sex towel".

The sex towel is a lovely invention. Whenever I get fisted, or have my period, or just in case things get messy, we take out the sex towel. It's pink, covered in bits of hair dye, and possibly one of the most beloved things I have. Every time the sex towel comes out, I know I'm in for a treat. It allows me the chance to let go and not worry about the sheets.

I've spread this to other lovers, including TB. We do not, yet, have a designated towel, but we did make use of one around his flat because I'm bleeding and I really love orgasms when I'm bleeding. I feel a little tender, extra sensitive to being touched and horny as all hell. I also get possessed by this desire to paint my lovers with blood, probably because I'm slightly insane, possibly because it's mine and it's a way to mark them without hurting them. I usually resist because, wow, unsafe sex, but it's one of those little fantasies I have.

I got to be the bottom, mostly, thanks to a win at air hockey where I decided we should play for forfeits. It was suprisingly intense- I was bound, my head effectively hooded, while TB played with the new anal toys he got (for HIM, may I add, not that I minded in the least). I was a little concerned that I was passing in and out of the here-and-now, because sometimes anal play leads to unhappy flashbacks, but I enjoyed it enough to stick it through and it didn't go into the scarier places. Little by little, I get closer to healing those wounds. I got some much-needed snuggles. And, right when I was feeling pouty that my pussy was being left out of it, he made me cum, over and over again. Thanks, sex towel!

However, I obviously need to step it up as a top. I'm slipping- Thursday night we were both stubbornly not getting out of bed for water, because neither of us wanted to cave in. An hour or something later, and I was up for the water. And I didn't just get some for myself. I'm a bad sadist. Ah well. I can make up for it Sunday, when he's going to be a table for us. :)

Tonight I think I'll go to Klub Fukk, the queer sex party. I doubt I'll play much, thanks to the bleeding, but I think I'll enjoy the energy there and maybe I'll get to pimp out my girlfriend. It'll hype me up for High Tea tomorrow. Maybe I'll watch some Dexter, someone else who can appreciate playing with blood.