With subculture events in existence to cover all sorts of things, it's really not surprising that my attention has been drawn to events focused on fat people. Of course, most of them would not say "we love fat people", because the word "fat" is still too charged for so bold a statement, but in various euphemistic terms- "celebrate your curves", the "beauty of size", etc, they say "yes, you're fat, and that's sexy too". Ok, cool. I like that. I don't see why I should have to celebrate all the time (seriously, most of these sites/events, somewhere in their text, they'll say that they celebrate something about being fat. Do we get balloons?) but I appreciate that people are trying to acknowledge that fat people can be sexually desirable beings with sexualities of their own. 

Oh wait, sorry, did I say people? I mean women, of course. These are almost always parties to say how sexy fat women are. Look at the above banner for one such party- mostly fat women, the occasional slender man. Fat men are not visible, except, perhaps, as admirers of fat women. And may I note that this is a fucking drawing, so it's not like they can use the excuse "we couldn't find a model". 


No, for finding positive, sexualized depictions of fat men you'd have to go to the gay community, where bears, like the Bearlesque troupe seen here, take up a comfortable sexual space of their own. Gay fat men have claimed some autonomy.Straight fat male bodies, like straight male bodies in general, are not here to be looked at, but to be the ones looking, objectifying, fetishizing, in this world of "sex positivity" and body size. Nothing new there, then.


Argh. No wonder my boy is constantly paranoid about his sexual value.


But these "plus sized" parties exist- there's not many, but they're there- and I do appreciate that most of them aren't seen as fetish events, either, which is good. Let's face it though: Big Girls Paradise (home of the corseted "kittens" below), Goddess Parties, Full Figure Dolls, Heavenly Bodies- these are  And then, even as a woman, these events are rarely about being comfortable in your skin- maymay makes an excellent point about that in his own blog:

The following night at the SF Citadel was the inaugural Luscious party, billing itself as being the first BDSM party at the SF Citadel “to welcome people of all shapes.” Inexplicably, the theme of this first event was corsetry. Let me make this perfectly fucking clear: it’s awesome that people of all shapes and sizes can and do enjoy corsets, but the fact that the first party expressly welcoming “people of all shapes” asks you to change your shape is just one more example of how deeply BDSM Scene power brokers have internalized and then re-express overculture oppressions, in this case equating hourglass figures to beauty.

Most of these parties, as I clicked links and looked at party themes, talked about corsets, corsets, corsets. Hell, I looked into shooting some porn for mainstream BBW magazine Voluptuous XL, and they told me that my breasts weren't big enough to balance out my body. I have never in my LIFE wondered if my 36E tits were BIG enough!

It's more of the same- being a sexually appealing fat woman means fulfilling a stereotype, molding into the "right" shape for far women, just as being a dominant woman means wearing the fucking uniform. This is why I should go to female dominant clubs in a fucking bathrobe and bunny slippers and top the hell out of someone, to prove that a corset and heels are not magic items that allow me to do so. Plus I'd be comfortable. Isn't comfort sexy?

I want to point out here that all this talk about "curves" as a euphemism for "fat" is seriously problematic, not only because it allows fat people who aren't curvy to continue to be humiliated, particularly in the media, or because it erases fat men, butches, and other people for whom "curvy" isn't a correct or desired term. No, I find it to be an issue because "curvy" in our society means something else. Jennifer Lopez is curvy. She's not fat. If we called someone a "curve admirer" we'd probably mean that they prefer Kim Kardashian to Victoria Beckham. "Fat admirers" are called that for a reason.

All of this is why I'm so fucking glad things like this event, Burger Queen out in London, exist, because what Scottee is doing is punching back against this attitude that fat is bad:

Flick through any prime time TV spot and you'll find a gluttonous array of programs designed to point and laugh at obesity - Britain Biggest Loser, Britain's Fattest Man, Supersize VS Superskinny, Gok: Too Fat, Too Young - the list goes on but do these programs help solve the 'obesity timebomb' (Sunday Express) or have fatties become the modern freak show?  

Scottee thinks its about time we had some healthy role models in chub culture and invites you to the very first Burger Queen contest. 

Over 4 weeks Scottee is looking to crown Burger Queen 2011 - a beauty pageant for fat people and their friends. Each contestant will endure three rounds designed to find the perfect fatty to enter the final - these include Trend (fat fashion), Taste (your signature dish) and Talent (light entertainment for heavy weights) - the competition is open to chub admirers too, anyone of any size can enter - fat is a politic not a dress size!

Just as an example: I was glad as anyone else when Lauren's shirt in "Born This Way" (Glee episode when they all wear shirts declaring something they're embarrassed about) said "Bad Attitude" and not something about her weight, or Mercedes' shirt, which said "no weave". But I shouldn't have felt so scared that Glee was going to actively perpetuate fat bashing- and yet, it's had some issues, never mind if look at the media buzz around "Mike and Molly". Don't get me started on the fact that "fat TV" is basically a genre now.

I think the way that Burger Queen is presented is what we need more of- irreverence and resistance. When Porn WikiLeaks was trying to get me to shut up about their smear campaign, the worst thing they could think to say about me was that I was fat. It deflated them utterly when I shrugged and said "yeah, and?" We need to stop letting out bodies be used as weapons against us.

So this is a call to pudgy arms. Let's show our bellies and stop worrying if we have a fucking muffin top over our jeans or if our thighs bulge out of shorts. Let's throw away uncomfortable, chafing "body shaping" tights and embrace sitting around naked. Let "fatty" become the "mary" or "molly" of our times.