"I know this must seem weird..."

"It's ok if you're not into this..."

"I kinda have this odd fantasy..."

And then they can't meet my eyes, because they are so scared that I'm going to pass judgment- that I, the sex worker, the woman of power who has seen everything, will flip the fuck out once this guy tells me what he's into. 

It breaks my heart!

I tend to pry a little, try to figure out where they got this idea that their kink was so totally fucked up that they should not only pay me to indulge it but they should apologize profusely for daring to bring these things to light. 

Cause, seriously, who am I to judge? I try all sorts of crazy things all the time, just to see why someone might be into it.

I kind of realized how rare that was when I was with someone today. This guy was gorgeous, to be honest- tall dark and handsome, nice body, good job, fabulous manners. 

What was he into? 

Scent. And feet. 

Now, feet is one of those things I'm not that keen on usually, but wow, this guy knew how to touch them just right. I am amazed that he doesn't have a girlfriend who shares his love of shoes and then has him massage and kiss her tired soles after a long day at work. He knew just what to do! 

I mean, I understand when a woman is with a crappy foot fetishist who spits all between her toes and makes her feel gross, but his lips were so light against my toes that it really turned me on along with soothing my sore feet. What a crazy thing to turn down! I really don't understand it.

Scent might seem a bit weirder, I guess- he really liked smelling my armpits- but then again, that's just science. People are attracted to others via their scent. Surely that's not so difficult to work with either? I revel when I meet someone who doesn't care if I want to wear deodorant or not! 

He's not the first, either. The boy's into adult baby, something that I do actually find a bit weird and one of the only things I feel that way about. And even then, I get a lot more of it that  expected- the sense of calm, the simplicity, the playfulness, the accessorizing. 

Before him, I had a lover who kinda liked splosh, and before him was a boyfriend who used to be a client, who really liked being spit on. I remember being really surprised when I got his email, asking for me to chew up a sandwich and spit it up his nostrils- but I learned that even if you're unsure, give it a go and see how you feel. 

Turns out I quite liked spitting in his face (not food, but just my own spit) and then using my hands to rub it all over him. I even got into being spat on myself! So, you never know how you might feel about it.

I never thought mummification would be for me. The idea of being constrained so tightly and so completely I thought would totally wig me out- no, not really, it was actually very sexy and something I enjoyed exploring. Had I followed my initial instinct? I would never have tried it out and I'd have missed out on something really hot. 

Roleplay and ad libbing was something I wasn't sure about at first- now I do it a lot, and I love it! I grew a lot of confidence and I think that gave me a solid base to jump off of. Hell, I didn't think being a Domme was for me for a long time, and look at me now! 

Having an open mind and being willing to try stuff out, even if it originally seemed odd (clown sex comes to mind) has led to me having a vastly more interesting and varied sex life. I've tried drag. I've tried genderfuck. I've tried lots of different things until I found the things that really worked for me, and I think I'm healthier for it.

Who knows how many clients read my blog. I'll say this: when I asked about classes, the one about explaining your kink to your lover was one of the most popular classes. 

I'm hoping this means that people are starting to feel bolder, like they can ask for what they want from their lovers.

Brief advice? No gimp mask on the first date, dudes! Compromise. Take it one step at a time- if you like bondage, ask your lover to hold your hands down before you start getting out the spreader bars. Explore. Ask questions. Make space in your fantasies for your lovers fantasies- no one likes to feel like the mad lib girlfriend or boyfriend.

And mainly? Don't give up hope. Whatever it is, seriously, your fetish is not that weird. You can find someone who will enjoy it with you.. as long as you're ready to make it rewarding for them, too.