One of the questions I get asked a lot is how I think punters can help working girls. In the light of an incredibly misquoted article around sex work's value, and the increasingly alarming laws being considered about the criminalization of clients, I figured now was probably a good time to offer up some suggestions.

-The number one thing, and the most difficult for most people, is speak out. Every time I get asked what sort of men my clients are, there's an assumption, perpetuated by the media, that clients are physically undesireable perverts who, if they weren't seeing sex workers, would be off raping women. This really isn't true in my experience.

Speaking out, anonymously or not, is a way of standing up to be counted, and saying, "hey, guess what, this is the face of punters". I know my clients are generally fantastic men that I enjoy spending time with. At worst, some of them are a bit boring. If every man who bought or considered buying sex work said so, the government would really have to take notice, and the anti-prostitution feminists would be speechless (granted, only for a second). Write a letter to your MP. Write into the paper. Write a blog!

-Donate. There are multiple organizations that would use your support- if you're worried about trafficking, donate to the Poppy Project (which I have some issues with but is, in general, a great idea). If you care about sexual freedom in general, letting consenting adults do what they want behind closed doors (like kink), etc, then the Spanner Trust is a good bet. The International Union of Sex Workers can always use a boost, which leads to my next suggestion:

-Support the Union, or at least educate yourself about it. Some girls don't like it, others are proud members, you'd have to read up to decide for yourself whether you support them or not. You can join as an ally. You can just donate some money. Or, like I said, you can just educate yourself about them, what they offer, how they work, and what they do.

-Respect.
Respect the rates- if we want to change the rules for you, we'll let you know.

Respect "no"- if we don't want to, don't push us... and be glad that we like you enough to give you the intimate knowledge of what we do enjoy, instead of just putting up with it!

Respect that our pleasure is our own. We don't owe it to you- we only agreed to help you meet your pleasures. If we decide to tell you what makes us cum, or what we like, be glad, but don't expect it. For some of us, those sorts of intimacies are left to our lovers.

Respect our time. We know shit happens, but don't make an appointment and break it last minute without expecting us to be suspicious you're a timewaster. It's a professional meeting, ultimately, and we're likely moving around our personal time to accommodate you.

-Offer to pay transit costs, or to provide any special toys or costumes. If you want us to spit champagne in your mouth, bring it with you!

And the number ONE thing you can do...

-Be upfront about what you want.

It's ok if you're not sure what gets you off. But please, let us know what fantasies you have, what you're tried and liked, what you've tried and didn't like!

So, punters- sally forth and make me proud! For Kitty and Cuntry! ;)