Usually, when I'm on the phone having phone sex, I end up masturbating. I generally start out thinking "oh, god, whatever," rolling my eyes in the mirror at the fantasies that, to them, seem very taboo and unique and that, to me, are heterosexist propaganda studies. But more often than not, I get caught up in a piece of it, and end up rubbing one out, often with the attitude of "well, what else am I going to do?"

Oftentimes I cum. I leave feeling like I've accomplished an important part of my sexual health, and I feel like it's then easier to blog, or nap, or sew a costume or whatever it is. The thing that's sad, and unfortunate, is that they never recognize that I've already cum.

Wanker: Uhhh, uhh, yeah, I like fucking your pussy, it's so wet!
Me: Mmm, I'm rubbing my clit nice and hard, oooh, I can feel myself pulsing, I think i'm about to cum...
Wanker: Oh yeah baby, I want to feel you cum around my cock! (wapwapwapwap)
Me: (buzzbuzzbuzz) Oh my... oh my god... mmmm! Oooo! (heavy breathing, followed by short gasps)
Wanker: Your pussy is so wet, yeah! Cum baby, cum on my cock! Make a mess! I wanna hear you cum!
Me:..... (quiet as I gather my breath)
Wanker: CUM WITH ME! OH YEAH!
Me: (sighing to myself) OHGODOHGODYESYESYESFUCKMEYESOHGOD!
Wanker: UUUUUUUUH (gasps)

I mean, granted, it's a phone. I can't expect that he'd completely get it- my pussy isn't in front of him, for example, and we just "met". But I'm not exactly silent when I cum, either. I just don't howl the house down. Which is, of course, what they expect, more often than not, from watching porn, where the slightest touch from a man will turn women into quivering, cum-soaked sexpots. It's about theater, not reality. Still, it feels like a disservice.

Maybe next time I'll just say "I already came" and hang up.