So I've been back in the UK for almost 2 weeks now. It's been a bumpy ride, working on a couple of projects and even being crazy enough to start another one, along with doing an interview for a potential documentary, moving house, and restarting my work.

Sex work is, for me, incredibly rewarding, both financially (to be expected) and emotionally. I am touched when I can help a client find ways to make his or her erotic life more fulfilling, or when I can help a couple have a fun threesome, or when I can comfort and encourage someone in accepting their sexual desires. That's a huge part of why I went into sex work in the first place.

But it's not easy work, just as being a therapist isn't easy work. It's emotional in nature for you, whether you're emotionally connected to your clients or not, and nuanced in ways that can be complicated to explain in conversations about sex work. I've always had a hard time articulating what my thoughts are on people getting into it, until I saw this bit by Mistress Matisse- she's talking in part about the Nicki Blue losing her vaginal virginity on Kink Inc debate, though this is generally relevant-

So you should not do porn, or any kind of sex work, to explore your sexuality. A happy and emotionally-healthy sex worker is someone with the tools and the desire to facilitate other people exploring their sexuality. As you go along in sex work, you’ll learn what particular types of sexuality you most enjoy participating in, and gravitate towards the appropriate setting for that. But getting into corporate porn to "explore your sexuality" is rather like joining the military to explore your issues with aggression and formalized hierarchies. You certainly will get an education, but it’s unlikely to be a smooth and enjoyable process.

Virgins aspiring to sex work, think it like this: Actors rehearse, athletes train, and musicians practice. If you want your sexuality to enrich the lives of other people, and you want to be happy doing so, learn your skills in private. Then go forth and make the world a sexier place.

I think this makes a brilliant point, and one that I agree with. I came into sex work initially very uncertain about my sexuality, and stopped after one session, deciding to just do erotic massage- not because I had a bad time, but because I was self-aware enough to know I didn't know what I was doing. I went back into it when I felt ready and like I had a lot of experience under my belt. I was better able to consent, as I knew what I liked and didn't like. If you can't communicate well, or state boundaries, or if you're unsure what your boundaries are- sex work is not the job for you.

Meanwhile, I'm ready to get back into it!