I've been asked before what it's like having a pretty personal blog connected to my sex work site. My twitter, facebook, and blog are all pretty easy to find when you stumble across my professional side, and the intermingling of the personal and professional is sometimes complicated.

While for the most part I enjoy my work, I don't always, and sometimes that makes its way into my blog- not only that, but there's certain tropes about femdom and sex work that I actively challenge here. Add to that being a queer sex worker, and a sex worker in a relationship! It's interesting how my clients have reacted to having read my blog- a couple of them have said they felt like they knew me particularly well because they had followed my writing, while some felt a little awkward! So I suspect it affects my work sometimes, since I'm not writing smut, posting photos of my ass and being generally a fantasy girl.

I personally really like having a blog that expresses my authentic self- my politics, my emotions, my relationships- mainly because I can't imagine trying to fake it. I am the same person in my blog that I am in real life- what you see is what you get. The assumption is that you have to play up a certain kind of femme, assume a certain kind of privilege, to be a sex worker. But you know what? I don't think that's always true.

A good example is this- recently, I posted a blog entry about how angry straight, white, cissexual male privilege made me, and how I find myself more and more attracted to women (though causation does not necessarily equal correlation, but anyway). My friends were supportive of my headspace, which I expected- what I didn't expect was a really touching email from a prospective client. He offered to get me anything I liked as a tribute- I laughingly suggested an e-stim unit. He wrote back, having ordered it for me, and said "have fun shocking some sense into those straight boys". That's pretty fucking rad, if you ask me. It's not the first time either- I've had quite a few clients who seek me out because I'm not just some tits, but a complete person. And that says to me that I can be exactly who I am- not some primped up version, but converse sneakers and all.


I don't live a glamorous life- I live in a room with a cool couple in East London. I take public transit, not black cabs. I wear jeans and sneakers and often very little makeup. I have a loud mouth, I care a lot about politics, and I'm one tough ex-gutterpunk.  


And you know what? It's really, really awesome when my clients know all that and come to see me- not in spite of it, but because of it. It's not easy, whatever you job, to make it something you love and not compromise your ethics. But it is possible. And I'd rather be poor and feel good, that I don't have to follow or encourage racist, homophobic, sexist, or other fantasies that are oppressive, than make lots of money and lose my soul.