It happens a lot. Someone politely asks me what I do for work, and I sit and look at them, trying to read them for what my response should be. Do I say hooker? Do I say escort? Dominatrix? Or do I not bother to field the whole sex work thing entirely and say something vague like admin or counseling?

It's funny in a way, because when I say something like I'm an escort or a hooker some people around me are eager to correct me, to say "no, no, you're a Dominatrix", like that's somehow "better" on the sex work hierarchy. Is it better to be a Dominatrix?

Does it depend on your working strategy? I mean, as a Domme, I do tend to run the fuck, even if he IS paying- I'm not going to do a session, generally, I'm not into, and even then I tend to incorporate my turn ons into the scene. I make it mine. I don't dress or act in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm in the headspace. I tend to tell my clients that I'll decide what we do and how much of what, within their checklists and limits of course. But I also care about customer satisfaction. Am I fooling myself? I mean, as a Dominant are you ever fully in control? Does the exchange of money make the power exchange less valid? More valid? I'm still working all that out.

I still do sexual acts for money. I'm still a hooker. I'm ok with that, I don't judge myself for it, it's just my job title. Or one of them. But I notice more often than not if I judge someone able to handle that I'm in the sex industry, I reach for Dominatrix more often than Prostitute. Is it because Hooker and Escort get used interchangeably for anything from streetwalking to brothels to high class courtesans, while Dominatrix is more consistantly understood? Am I scared of being judged after all? Quite possibly. I imagine it also has to do with coming from the States, where being a corset wearing Mistress of Pain is slightly closer to the legal side than being a sultry siren for hire.

And I will say, to those who say S/m isn't sex- when I slapped his face, my cunt got wet. When I tied him up and grabbed handfuls of his sweaty flesh, I wanted to kiss him as much as I wanted to pierce his skin. Sometimes I get so turned on that I want to fuck him and taste him and make him cry and scream and writhe all at the same time, and it's all just so hot that I need to take a step back before I lose it and just rip in like a 5 year old at a birthday party. It's sex for me. No doubt. Sure, I get paid- it's a bonus.