Again and again I am amazed at how hard it must be to be a punter and admit your pervs to a complete stranger. I mean, in some ways, maybe it's way easier, because you never have to meet them and you never have to see their look of horror... but in other ways I feel flattered that people come to me to try stuff that they're worried will squick me out. Maybe if any of my readers are clients they could say something about how it feels to ask for what you want during a session, or before a session? Do you fear rejection, or do you just not personalize it and move on?

Anyway, it reminds me of something I read about a butch female gigalo, and how hir card said "All kinks respected, most catered for". I like that. That's how I try to be.

Adult babies are one of those things that don't honestly do anything for me but I will defend to the death the right for them to enjoy themselves in the kink world. I tried being a Mommy once and it was probably more of a squick to me a mothering figure than that he was a baby. I would give it a go again as a Daddy, possibly, but the Mommy gig is so not mine. I have the mothering instinct of something that eats its young.

However, I was on one of the forums I spend a fair bit of time on when someone asked a question about adult babies. This wasn't a kink forum, this was an escort forum, and therefore some people are familiar with various expressions of kink and others are not. So far I've spoken up for sadists not being rapist/murderers and people into spit not being fucked in the head, along with other altsex things. I'm probably the kinkiest person on the site that actually posts. Possibly in part because the other girls can be really scathing about fetishes they don't get.

I get really scared for the future when even the hookers would rather spend time pointing the finger at each other and saying "YOU'RE the fucked up one" rather than focusing that energy on politics. There were three girls who said how adult babies = paedophilia, and one even suggested that the post be removed from the board for being inappropriate. The post in question (one about a client into AB, and should she bring up the suggestion of playmates) was clear, to most of us anyway, about it being adult babies. One of the girls insulted the poster. None of them actually addressed the question.

I got frustrated. Even among the closest thing to "my people" (the sex workers), I feel I have to speak out to protect my other "people", the kinky community. I have a book about escorting that implies that domination is something to be looked at with a hint of distaste. Apparently being actually into being on top is something that really does set me apart from other pros. And as I'm sort of the kinkster of the forum, I keep feeling like I have to say something. Because when even the sex outcasts are squabbling about what this kink means or doesn't mean, how can we, as kinky people or as sex workers, ever hope to overturn horrible, invasive politics like the extreme porn ban that makes photos of piercing or fisting illegal, or encourage positive things like New England Leather Alliance's educating police officers about the difference between consensual BDSM and abuse? Never mind all the usual stuff about two girls working in the same place!

Anyway. This is what I wrote, I wanted to keep it on here as reference.

"First off:

It's a mental illness/disorder fetish-wise or alt-sex-wise IF and ONLY if it affects their day to day life in a negative/harmful way. This is true for all fetishes across the board- crossdressing, sadism, latex, etc. That's what any psychologist worth their salt will say as that's what it says in the DSM.

Secondly:

Needles aren't everyone's thing, but no one's saying (to my face, anyway) that I'm sick and need help cause I'm into them. Needles are not inherently sexual for me, but I would count them in the realm of my sexuality anyway, because they're part of BDSM. Just because I enjoy needleplay doesn't mean I have the urge to run around stabbing people with needles. Just because you might like cunnilingus, doesn't mean you plan on plopping your pussy on the face of any random passerby, yeah? We all have self control.

Maybe adult baby isn't your thing. That's ok, you don't have to do it, right? I don't see how having a fetish to role play being a baby means you're a paedophile, or that you've suddenly lost the capacity to control yourself elsewhere. That's a logical fallacy (fallacy of composition, I believe, though I need to look it up), and a hugely dangerous one.

Why is it dangerous? Well, it's all about language. Elsewhere on the boards I said something about how using the word sadistic to cover every murder that's cross-gender means it changes the meaning of the word. Now, if I say I'm a sadist, people will consciously or unconsciously connect that to murderers and rapists. That's the power of language. However, again, there are murderers and rapists who would not be diagnosed as sadists, and there are sadists like me who would never dream of doing anything nonconsensually- a is not equal to b.

Back to adult babies. Even in the cases where adult babies and adult kids get together to play with each other, it's not inherently a sexual thing. It's a return to innocence. It's freedom from responsibility. It's feeling taken care of. And I'll say, while professionally most of the clients asking for adult baby are het men, in SF most of the adult babies and adult kids I know are women, by a LONG shot. And yes, they have play dates together. In fact, the adult babies I know are very aware of their surroundings and what others might think-

"My Daddy and i went to the playground this morning. It was a little earlier than we thought all the real babies would be out so i dressed up. Daddy put me in Bambinos and a school girl outfit. I just didn't want to be in baby clothes in case someone brought their real little kids. And since it's easy for me to pass for 12 (more than acceptable to still be on the playground) i figured a school outfit would be good. I also brought my new bear Pineapple which Miss Katie bought me. I love pineapple. He went on all slides with me and on the swings. Good thing no one else was on the playground because you could easily see i was wearing a diaper when i was on the swings and on the slides."- from Diapered Kitten

Not only is there no interest in children, there's a fear of being AROUND children!

As for would you leave your child in the room with an adult baby... well, would you leave them in a room with a strange adult man, regardless of what he was into or wearing..? Again, it's a logical fallacy (confusing correlation and causation, this time?)- I would argue that most of you wouldn't leave your kid alone with a strange man, even taking sexuality out of the equation entirely! And even if you put it back into the equation- I think you'd feel just as iffy about leaving your kid in the same room while you gave a blow job or someone crossdressed. It's not the adult baby thing as much as whether you think your child should be around sexuality in general.

Linzi, Sexy Hannah... I understand it squicks you and it's not your thing. But it's not true, fair, or even respectful to turn around and say that those of us who HAVE engaged in this don't know what we're talking about when we say it's not a sexual thing. It's like Harriet Harman telling us that she knows all about sex work cause she met a streetwalker once, or read a paper on it. Not that I would suggest Harman go into sex work ::laughs:: she'd do pretty poorly, but I do think that people who have done this sort of thing and explored/studied it are in more of a position to say what it's about than someone making a value judgment.

And what I REALLY don't want to see happen is this board become a place to bash people with fetishes that they keep between consenting adults. Not your thing, that's ok, but is there really a need to therefore insult people into it?

(logical fallacies info)"